Now that I haven’t been having so many physical problems, I have nothing to do. I find it really difficult to transmit my thoughts into words to communicate them with other people. I have a difficult time separating the past from the present, and if time is just an illusion, I guess there’s no difference. I’ve had a hangover from magic mushrooms for literally almost 7 weeks now, and before that I had a shroom hangover for almost 4 weeks and after about 3 1/2 weeks I did them again and got another hangover from them. I would really like to try dmt but I […]
They all no longer support me, or anything i do. All because my ‘bestfriend’ got mad at me and started saying how i was on heroine, and apparently thats the reason she no longer wants to be my friend… I would never touch that, it is a monster. Evil deceptful life-taking moster. My brother is recovering from addiction, i’ve seen first hand what it does. She knows i’d never EVER touch it but tells people i am so they don’t like me anymore… It’s not fair. I wish i could move far far away… My hours here are growing shorter and shorter. I can’t take […]
Everything was going fine for about a month but then everything started going downhill once again. My depression is worse then ever and i feel like i have no one to vent to (the reason why im on here again). I have been thinking about my suicide too and ive decide to just overdose. I know most people say it dosent work but hey why not give it a try it might work for me.Before i try to commit i want to see if i can get any better (emotively) so i was thinking about telling my mom. In some ways i think its a good idea but in […]
Hey guys!
really pissed off days. Got a few shifts on ambulance these days and all of them was full of blood, shits and stench.
One call will stay in my minds for a long time i guess… We got a call “suicider” and went on a blue lights to
her. It was beautiful 35 years old lady hanged on a rope in a bathroom. The worst thing – her 12 and 10 years old kids found her after came back from a weekend with dad. They […]
i wanted to go and try to get my temps,found out the city bus doesnt go out that far,dont even know were the building is or what it looks like, and even if i did get um, i can pass my driving test cause you have to use someone you knows car, they wont let you use the driving practice cars they have, did it ever fucking occur to them that just mabey some people dont have friends or family?the only person i know of would never drive hours to help me out, even though they help my sister out all the time, bail her […]
I don’t know why sometimes I can feel insanely happy and joyful, yet at the same time, sad and depressed. Its like there are two sides of me fighting eachother. I can’t get away from them. And yesterday, for the first time, I wondered: if I die, will it really all go away? will I actually be free? I find it almost hard to imagine that there is a peaceful place anywhere in the universe.
The worst part of everything is that I have to be human. I have to walk around in this cursed, ugly body. I feel as though can’t escape from it either. […]
I’m 22, I’ve been suicidal since I was 11 years old. I have no job, I’m incredibly insecure, I hate who I am, I’ve never had a single friend I could talk to in person about my problems, I’ve had one brief relationship. Nobody has ever made any kind of real effort for me, they say a lot but none of it has ever been backed up by any actions, I’ve never had anyone there for me. I either feel horrible or I feel absolutely nothing and that isn’t something that I consider to be living. I’ve been sick of it for a long time […]
I wish I could expres myself better. It’s not only a language thing I think. I wouldnt know what to write if I was writing in Dutch either.
I dont even know what I want anymore, other than kill myself of course. That really is the only desire I still have left.
I know its lame but all I really want right now is for someone to hold me. Its been a very long time since someone gave me a hug.
Edit: someone just asking how I’m doing would be fine too, it doesnt have to be a hug.
mabey some people dont know they are doing it,mabey some people just dont even care, but only dont care wen it comes to you, i use to think there was good ways to feel powerfull,but now im thinking, the only way be powerful for someone like me, is to be a minipulater,and i have no clue were to start,i dont even know what that is or how to do it really,i know its taking advantage of people, but wen everyone is taking advantage of you,you have to find a even smarter and trickeyer way around that,
When I came across this site after googling the words ‘I hate myself and can’t take anymore’. I knew exactly what I wanted to say – that I have only two reasons to live – my son and daughter – both under 6 years old – the youngest only a baby (who has a terrible cold at the moment). I’m very tired from sleepless nights and haven’t really recovered from post natal depression and a ‘breakdown’ two years ago. I have had to give up work and ‘sign on the sick’ (I live in the UK). I do have a caring husband – but he has health […]
Why does everytime when eveything seems kinda ok-ish again, everything fucking comes crashing down on me again.
It seems like every day’s the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray
and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah
Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here
And I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well
I feel the dream in me expire
and there’s no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
‘cause I can’t seem to […]
I can no longer take the pain and loneliness that dominates my life. I dont want to race, mountain bike, snowboard, scuba dive, travel, eat, watch movies, have orgasms or do anything else. I have been alone for sooooooooo long. I have no one to share my life with. No friends. No lover. I have tried meetup groups, classes, volunteer work but nothing seems to pan out. I have no connections to anyone. I dont think I’ll ever get to share those special moments that families get to share with each other such as, children being born, family Thanksgiving dinners etc.. Chris McCandless said (wrote […]
What I am about to describe to those who would read it:
The feeling of being crushed by a hope which rises from within, lighter than a strand of hair, full of promise and without a care,
Before its ascending weight turns to lead and forces it to relegate,
Falling back down onto one’s chest as a manifestation of despair.
—
I feel a great smouldering weight, filling my lungs with smoke, pinning me down with its bitter, heavy hate.
I feel as though I’m suffocating. The more I struggle, the more I suffocate.
My suffering, it exacerbates.
The more it hurts, […]
i dont want to be here anymore.
i dont think anyone can convince me to give it another chance.
I am 12 years old. I have been suicidal since I was about 10 due to the shitty way the other kids treated me. I am overweight and I have self esteem issues.
In my class at school there is a girl who is always crying when no one is paying attention to her. We are pretty much friends, and she has admitted to me that 4 months ago her grandfather committed suicide and she’s been upset about it ever since.
I think she has extreme deppression, because I read up on it recently. The way she acts makes me feel as if my pain […]
ok im only 14 i just wanted to let people know hang onto hope, dont do it there are people in bigger shit then you, ur strength is amazing and your so brave think when your through what your going through you will be a stronger person so i suggest put down ur sucide choice call someone now tell them whats wrong then u can share your story with others ! you must stay its a demand !!!!!
It’s all in place. I have the two helium tanks and everything to connect them to the bag YAY. I’ve signed my daughters name over to the ***** whore of a mother. No one will disturb me for days, work can go get fucked. I’ve got enough booze to enjoy my last few hours.
The only two people i’m sorry to are my daughter, although you never knew me i loved you deeply, and my mother who i apologize to but i had to do it.
NO ONE IS TO BLAME FOR THIS BUT ME, I want this. I’ve had a good life but I can’t be bothered any […]
Today I had my second dietetic intern class. I have spent my entire life aspiring to be something great, and I got into university with all A’s, and have passed every class in my four years with no less than an A-. Yet this doesn’t make me happy. I feel more incompetent and incapable of everyone in my class, everyone on the planet. I can’t even open my books because I feel so overwhelmed. I don’t want to wake up because I know that I’ll have to open my books which I can’t even do. Why? I have no idea. The material is so vast […]