I really hate religion its such a disease It causes wars, murder, and hatred. Nobody can come up with a single real proof of God but humanity will kill over it. I also hate when people say that god sends people who kill themselves to hell I’ll send God to hell if he exists for obvious reasons. I am also starting to hate humanity becuase I see how we destroy the earth and torture, rape and murder each other and all the animals, follow what we are told without question and then say we are the most intelligent species. I really feel bad for animals […]
im scared of letting people know about my suicide thoughts, im scared on how they will react and what they would say. there are only 3 people in the world that ive told and 2/3 have forgotten about it and the other one died… im scared in what i’d do to myself in an hour and even in a day.. i cant trust myself or anyone else with this secret… no matter how hard i try to get better, it seems like i have nothing to live for…. and then i just quit, after a few hours of thinking i truly have nothing to live […]
Every morning I wake up and regret the moment my eyes open because it means that I’m still alive. My skin is electrified with the urge to cut, to relieve the pain, and although it’s not the best way, it’s a way – the only way I have now.
I’m seventeen. A few months ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety after dealing with it for the past three years. I don’t break down; I shut down.
The only reason I’m hanging on is because I can’t stand the idea of hurting the people in my life that I love.
But I can’t do this anymore.
I […]
the pathetic part of my story is that this really was all of my fault. It all started back in 5th grade. That was the first year I really did realize how cruel people were. I never had friends, and I continued fine without them until 8th grade, but until 5th grade it never really bothered me. Then I started getting picked on; it was for everything. My hair wasn’t straight, I wasn’t pretty, I wasn’t skinny as a twig. I didn’t wear make up or buy name brand clothes. I wanted to, but my mom just wouldn’t allow it. To be honest I don’t […]
my life is a big joke. I try to kill myself, it doesn’t work. 5 times. I say I’m suicidal again, the doctors take me off my meds. I get a gf, she leaves me cuz I’m depressed. I study for 3 hours for a test, I get a 48%. I quit smoking, my friend Turns 18. I stay safe for a whole month, and I get told people think im gay so i go home and slit my arms open. It’s all a joke. We’ll see whos laughing in the morning.
I don’t even know where to start. I am 27 years old and have never had a chance to be completely happy. I was a daddy’s girl, and my daddy left me when I was 6. My mother quickly remarried a mentally handicapped man -half her age- and they had a baby boy; bringing my sibling total to 4 (that I knew of at the time.) Two older brothers, one twin brother, and the new one. I didn’t fit in. Don’t get me wrong: my mom was thrilled that she had her little girl, she just didn’t know what to do with me.
The only […]
It seems like I walk threw life pretending. I am the poser, the faker. I seem to be happy, seem to have it together, but nothing could be farther from the truth. I am lost, I am scared, I am unable to speak. I look around at the people in my life searching for someone who can handle what I have to say. I feel like I am watching my life crawl along with no meaning, no relief, no peace, no way out. Suicide, yes contemplated many times but I am trapped here by the guilt of making my loved ones suffer. I wish I […]
I’m so worn out.
Just getting up, waking up everyday going through the same routine everyday. There’s nothing exciting to life anymore I hate it.
My friends are so angry with me. I have a best friend, and if I don’t say one of them is my best friend they get seriously angry. I don’t like this position they put me in, I hate it so much. I want to escape this world without saying a word, really I do.
I picked up my blade for the first time in almost three months. The cut was deeper than ever and cleared my mind for longer than usual. Part of me thinks that quitting was a waste but the part that winces anytime i move my wrist says otherwise. I quit for one sole purpose, that reasons gone now so whats the point in stopping? Right, there isnt one. So here i go again to lock myself in the bathroom at just the thought of life.
I understand completely what it’s like to be there. I’ve tried to commit suicide 8 times. But, you have to learn to see that your beautiful. I know I don’t know you, but I’ve learned to see that all life is beautiful. You deserve to be happy. Just sit down and meditate. Just let the ground support you. Bring your attention to your breathing. Let all of your thoughts and emotions pass by you. All you are focusing on is your breathing. Visualize your breath as you inhale and exhale. Feel the wind passing through your body. And keep in mind that all life is […]
I wake up in the morning, like a lot of us do, wanting do die. I feel like hell and I only get the briefest of glimpses of what it would be like to feel well. I feel like I’ve been maimed by life, damaged. I’m just surviving at this point. I’ve been beaten. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad, that when I feel worse I laugh at myself for not acknowledging, that I felt “better,” somehow before.
I vacillate between wanting to be murdered and wanting to experience more suffering.
Anyone that wants to talk personally with me please don’t hesitate to email me at optimistic_lorraine@yahoo.com, i promise i will help the best way i can. God Bless !
Okay so my bestfriend Jack is dating Brooke. He knows I’ve cut, he helps me through it. He makes me feel special in every way imaginable and I couldnt live without him. He chose her over me though. Shes better than me, smaller, skinnier, prettier, better looking, everything more than me… I just want to be loved. Why me though? Why cant he realize I love him.? Why does he do this to me? My brother attempted suicide, he’s depressed, Im seeing a therapist because I found him on the couch half dead, my step mom just had a baby, Im cutting, my mom is […]
Just ever feel like your at a ‘breaking point’ when you feel so depressed you just can’t take it anymore? Well that’s me…
All my friends who said they would be there for me all gave up on me or don’t really care. Everynight.Everyday. I’m crying. It’s not like my life is bad. I do have people picking on me but its nothing. I’m not really sure why I’m so depressed….but I know I don’t like it and I don’t want anymore of it. Though I’m not sure what to do. I thought of suicide but I thought I was stupid for thinking of such a […]
Sometimes I want to just end it all. Everything seems so hard for me to cope with.. And having absolutley noone that underdtands me makes it worse. People think and say I shouldnt be so dowm, and depressed all the time but, I can’t just stop. I’m a messed up teenage girl, Can anyone Redefine Happiness..??
I’m 27. On the outside I appear to be a relatively well-adjusted, responsible, single Midwestern gal. On the inside, I’m screaming. Waiting for my life to end. I’ve been depressed/suicidal off and on since I was 15. One relatively severe cycle almost got me kicked out of college. I had to go to therapy, which was no help at all. I quickly grew bored of it and to expedite my exit from that requirement, I told the therapist what she wanted to hear. Fast forward a few years, I had broken things off with my first really serious boyfriend and rebounded to a guy a […]
I got really annoyed today in school. In my first lesson I got called out by the counsellor, I was confused because I sorted it out all before. ( I told her I would stop cutting and she believed me) So anyway she comes and tells me someone has told her i’ve been cutting again. I was like WTF because I havn’t cut since before.  So we had a massive chat about stuff and then she says if I get called out again she would have to tell parents. And this is supposed to be confidential WTF.
When I eventually got back to class I told my friend that someone had told […]
since i was little, iv been everywere,lived in city after city, putting myself in placements so i could get away from the abuse,even wen noone wanted me,never could fit in,well i started running from treatment facilities and group homes,everytime they put me in a different city, i had the impulse to run,i would run so fast, i felt free, like noone could catch me,most people couldnt,im in my own palce now later on,i still have that adrenalin, i crave it, feeling the rush is like a drug to me,i love big cities and looking at all the tall buildings and everything around me,its like i […]
Never been noticed, haven’t been noticed, will not be noticed. The one I like is right in front if my eyes, but I’m behind his back, were I belong. It feels horrible that I will never have a chance with him. There will be another girl who won’t make him suffer, will make him smile, and will love him and show him what true love is. I’ll just stay behind and won’t waste his time.
Sometimes I wonder if wanting to die is just trying to connect body to mind, because I feel dead inside, and I have for a long time.
Nothing’s changed in my life. I’m still a 26-year old student assistant. I should be happy to even have a job, but I have to pay $250 quarterly just to keep it. And I’m only taking classes to have the job, so it’s not like that’s adding up to anything useful. I have no worth, here.
I have no friends. No, really, I don’t. Not one. I have people that call me every four months to tell me that something […]