A little humor goes a long way. Short version is that I stopped an older couple to confirm or deny the helicopter I observed watching me. Their response was , yes, they were stopped watching the UFO. LOL
it has been months since i last cut. I just Did it again , this time i was in the tub . I loved watching the blood flow off of my wrist, then pour into the milky water. It is as i am cutting to make a point to my self . I want me to know that being depressed is not a good thing and the pain is the punishment . I like the punishment , i like the pain . I like to see the scars on my wrist . It reminds us that the past is real and that is something i care for. […]
I’ve decided to get a tattoo. A ‘subtle’ reminder for myself of my last attempt. Not that I think I’ll be forgetting it anytime soon. I guess it’s supposed to remind me that the worst is over.
I designed it myself. It is obviously a “tree of life” like image. Hidden in the negative space of the foliage is the word ‘forgiven’, and hidden in the roots is the date of my last attempt.
Here’s what it will look like
Hi.
I’m 23, I’ve been suicidal since I was 11. I don’t really know how it feels not to be depressed, I guess. Being this way has been its own vicious cycle. When I’m sad, I drive away the people I love. When I drive away the people I love, I feel worse. Then there is the other stuff, you know, letting people down just by being disappointing. Letting myself down too. I hate myself. I like to think that if suddenly some person came along and loved me unconditionally, it’d change things, but I know that isn’t true. I know what I am supposed to […]
hi every one last nigth I seriously concidered to suicide intil I started chaking and my heart beging to beat so fast and I was horified by tbe idea and still is,well my name is mohamed and I am from morroco,I used to be a muslim but I am not anymore because my fucking fother intreduced the idea to me when I was 18 and I don’t know to thank him or blame the mother fucker for that because he is living happy and carless of what is going on in the this fucking world(politics,wars,greed of the human) now I am 25 I belive that […]
It’s 3 am, I can’t sleep, but I am tired.
I wrote a few weeks back, this is a follow up, things have not gotten any better.
I managed to tell a girl i was inlove with that it was so, she reacted as i had thought, told me there were no feelings and ignored it ever happened, it bothers me. Not just that i feel somewhat heart broken, It’s is not too bad. It is more the feeling that this is the one person i can talk to about my real thoughts, but it is slipping now. I feel myself growing more distant, not daring to […]
The more I know the less I know. I truly know nothing. Life is about living outside one’s self, the world is greater than your perception of it, I know this, believe it, feel it, yet I still feel numb. I feel guilty for what I have and resentful for what I don’t. I’m in constant contradiction. I just cannot fill the void that’s inside me. I know deep down I’m blessed, seeing others, knowing and feeling what others go through only makes me feel lesser than what I am. I’m stuck in thought and just fail to progress. This to shall pass, but is […]
This place is so familiar, this place that I always come back to. Chainsmoking my way through a lonely night, endlessly surfing the net to distract my mind. Radio, TV, Twitter, facebook, scroling scrolling, clicking clicking – only turning off the light when I know that sleep will be instantaneous.
I’ve tried blaming it on circumstance, the balance in my bank account, my parents marriage, failed relationships…but this thing, this thing is always with me. I move and it comes with me, I hide, it finds me, I embrace it and it kills me.
I don’t know what it is, restless fatigue and itchy bones […]
I’ve been hanging onto life by a thread and
have used up all of the hope and optimism that I had to keep
on living. I have been trying to keep a positive outlook on my life. I’ve wanted the same thing that everyone else wants, happiness.
Maybe I’ve already served my purpose and therefore have nothing more to give.
Thus is not something
My wife has been put through hell by being involved with my mishaps, bad luck, and depression. I just want then to know that I love them and I hope they will find how to forgive me.
I don’t know who I am, really. I don’t understand myself at times. Sometimes I think about diagnosis too much. Try to fit myself into a label. But the truth is, I’m a human being. I shouldn’t care about ‘what’ I am, I should care more about who I am. So what I lack some things most people have? For most part, I’m just as human as you are. I might be a little more logical than most of you, I tend to only use intellect and not emotions. I might be into some stuff most of you find weird (true crime, for example). But […]
I’d like to help you guys directly, but of LIMITED bestowed preventing me doing so.
If you have unexplainable disturbances or mishaps happened, or unknown mission to accomplish, or even metaphorically puzzled, please google the followings,
to find that LICENSED lady (of special DUTY, who lives in Australia), whom obviously knowledgeable and very helpful very kind indeed. That website even listed her as a helper, and your questions would be answered in details, free of charge. Well, she’d charge if you ask for private intentive care and of her strenuous energy rendered.
(X is the letters omitted)
TrueXXXXttales
Questions and Answers
Xma Xazra
You’d never remember what […]
Reverie
“I am where the loneliest souls gather..
Though I remained all alone,
But may these moments be eternal..
May this dark yet starlit sky shine on me
Forever!”…
Well today i talked to my boyfriend and he told me that when i told him everything i’ve ben going through he was going through the same thing. Today he told me and i didnt know wat to do he showed me that he started to cut himself…..and we made a promise to eachother that we will do this together. wow i didnt see it coming….
So, i found this site and thought: Why not share some of my thoughts here? First i must say, that my english isn’t too good, so boring, repetitive and easy sentences will be written here. Now let’s begin.
First some information about me: I am completely healthy, i have good grades even though i don’t study for it and i don’t have financial problems. However i probably have a Schizoid personality disorder. At least i fit exactly to all descriptions you can find about it. Also i am very bad at sports, only moving a bit exhausts me, i can’t walk for a long time […]
I’ve got 44 days left to go, and I’ll be joining you. I am living my life until then as best as I can, savouring every moment. I’m even tempted to run in the local elections just for the joy of it. I am trying to fit a lifetime of pleasure in before I go. I don’t know what comes next, however that doesn’t bother me.
As full as my world seems, I am alone looking out over it. Disconnected from it. It doesnt matter how close I get to people I am so far away. People say they see great things in my future, I […]
Im 22 and have had so many issues over the last 10yrs, Anorexia, Bulimia, Clinical depression, bi-polar you name it. I’ve been in 7 different hospitals and am finally home after a 4yr stay. It seems even though i am home im still petrified of a normal life everything terrifies me. I finding it hard to get a job as employers ask for a criminal records check and mine will show cautions for criminal damage and narcotics possesion (Im not proud of that), even going into town on my own or taking the bus is so god damn scary. The idea of sociaising is so […]
I have no reason, downfalls or problems for why I want too do this to myself all I know is that I want too. Senseless right? I agree, though I have been battling with it since I was about 12 so everyone has a breaking point right? No one has any idea of what I’m about to do either. Some in the past have seen how I am but probably thought as I got older I grew out of it as if it were a phase. Well if you’re reading this any of you… it doesn’t really matter any more does it. I’m texting my […]
I guess I’ll open up my story, for whoever wants to read i guess. For the past years, i have been in such a long term depression. (on & off.) I’ve never ever been truly happy, for no less than 2 weeks or to where I didn’t even know what sad was anymore. It’s actually the other way around, i feel like i can’t even tell what happiness is. Ever since i was born, my dad was a big alcoholic. Always came home with a brown bag of liquor after work, and always stayed in his room. Telling my siblings and I, that he was […]
I draw sweet air
Deeply and long,
As pure as prayer,
As sweet as song.
Where lilies glow
And roses wreath,
Heart-joy I know
Is just to breathe.
Aye, so I think
By shore or sea,
As deep I drink
Of purity.
This brave machine,
Bare to the buff,
I keep ice-clean,
Breath is enough.
From mountain stream
To covert cool
The world, I deem,
Is wonderful;
The great, the small,
The smooth, the rough,
I love it all,–
Breath is enough.
Robert W. Service
I HOPE THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE HAPPY LIKE THIS
because your words dear, resurrected me. and i have loved you, all this while. thank you, for bringing a man back from the dead
i have loved words. their complexity. their vain reflection on the paper. their strokes on mcdonnald’s tissue paper as i sat by the corner with a black pen. the way they are tattooed on my thoughts. inked out of precise tune of delicate compilation of strings of grammatical compounds. their manipulative ways of tricking the ones who do not listen. words are by far the most genius and vilest invention. even so, i have loved words since the beginning. their binding ways of reaching out to their other halves, asking, begging to be complete. to be a sentence. their caring ways of understanding attitude. their […]