Most days I wake up with a fake smile plastered on my face. It’s like my own little lie to the whole world because I’m afraid they would know my thoughts. I guess it started when I was little because my dad got really sick he was the only one who understood me. He died in 2010. My mom is the type of person who literally runs from problems with out realizing how much that effects me. She’s never one to tell me that she loves me instead she tells me what others say about me. Around my friends I paste a smile on my face so that they believe that I am a happy person I have become an expert at manipulating my own emotion to keep me from going crazy. But to be quite honest the feeling that my Luther treats me like garbage has already made me crazy.
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Hey
I’m sorry about your dad. Yeah your mum can be frustrating, especially when you think she’s in a world of her own but that’s just her way of dealing with things. It will never change but the way you deal with and learn to accept it will. In the end you will become superior because its in our nature to adapt. When that happens it will not seem a problem, just a part of your life that has been replaced by really exciting stuff. You won’t discover that until your much older then, if you remember you will undoubtedly credit that fellow Duke something on a forum about suicide with the discovery. I hope so, because discovering something new is on my list of things to do before I die.