Help :C I need your emotional support. it…hurts…so depressed.
This recent days, I’m starting to be able to really cope up and enjoy my days… with my friends who support me emotionally. I am so scared to go home and face the rest of the day alone because of the painful emotions and thoughts I’ll have to face alone… so I spend a lot of time with my friends. I am starting to forget. But now it’s already summer break. I’ll be alone again, if not alone be with my family who doesn’t even know what I’m going through. I’ll be alone with ths books and internet. Ths pain… I still feel it.. I […]
It’s petrifying how little from the world truly exists: only the now.
Such a narrow flickering glimpse.
The past is memory. The future is simulation. And they are both occurring in the now, the recalling of the memory, the playing of the simulation. Aren’t they?
But the mind refuses to admit it. The mind finds this microscopic now terribly boring. How can you compare this skimpy moment to the vastness of the past and the future? it asks.
my mom hung herself from a bike hook in the garage this sept. I miss her. she was in so much pain. she had no hope she talked to me and I talked and read and and we fought and she battled and i searched and she persevered but she couldn’t hang-on any longer. for anyone that is reading this and thinking about suicide please know that you are not alone. please know I care. please know my mom was lost too. please know that while I can accept how you may feel about the world and even yourself- the […]
Is it really ‘pain’ that brings about the desire to kill yourself? I’m not in pain. But I’m not happy either – I feel almost nothing at all, I just think. And my thoughts don’t make sense. It’s just numbness, and sometimes anxiety. Nothing at all or crippling fear and self-hatred. Life is just not coherent. Why is anybody bothering to stay?
Everytying will be ok…. Those 4 words hurt my ears. After everything i have gone through, you are just going to say it will be ok? Spend one days in my shoes so you understand how i feel and then you will understand why all hope is lost for me
Rip my heart out
while you can
And I’ll still call you
Superman
Kiss her like
we used to kiss
And show me that
I wont be missed
Fall in love with her
Go ahead
Just bring her by my grave
when im dead.
Sing a happy song
To my stone
Cause even then
I’ll be alone
Ignore me
as I fade tonight
Take care, love
My last Goodnight…
For I wont see the morninglight
I will be 15 in 3 weeks. My depression started when i was 13. I began to start cutting myself. Now i have scars left on my arms as a memory. The last time i cut was in December. I would cut whenever something would really upset me. Then when i was 13 my mom implied that i was fat so i developed an eating disorder and i lost 30 pounds from that so far. I have not recovered from either. I have a tendency of relapsing. When all of this began someone came into my life and he tried to help me. He was […]
I’ve been depressed and suicidal recently with no one to talk of my issues with. I recently decided to talk to the school counselor about my problems. At first, everything was great, but then from the depression test results she decided that she needs to talk to my parents about my depression (the talk is tomorrow night shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck) as well as getting me to see my pediatrician about things I can do (antidepressants stuff).
I’m really starting to regret talking to my counselor and wish there was some other way of doing this without making things more complicated than […]
To sum things up, I don’t like my life.
By no stretch of the imagination is my life the worst. The hardest, the most miserable. But I still hate living.
My childhood was verbally abusive. I live with the constant guilt of driving a loved one to their death because of my neglect. I was molested in the 7th grade. My friends don’t ever invite me to their social gatherings, though I guess I wouldn’t want to hang around with me either.
My family and myself are in deep shit financially.
In school, I have advanced classes. Did well on the SATs, state tests, the like. But […]
I wonder, do you feel cold. I do.
I wonder, are you behind a glass wall in a crowd. I am.
My life feels like a grain of salt in the sand.
In a soundproof glass box.
They can’t hear me.
I feel as a bit of smear in the vastness.
Don’t touch me.
Don’t stand close to.
Don’t talk to me.
Life is better in a book.
Darkness is heavenly.
So I don’t sleep at night.
Daylight, too many people.
I need to hide.
I am alone in my self imposed lonely room
HI. I’m new here. I don’t really know how to open up just yet. The only thing keeping me fro killing myself, I’ll be honest, is my dog. My depression is a daily thing. I hate myself. I don’t believe it when someone compliments me. I’m tired. Of everything. I wish the ground could swallow me up. I don’t know what to do anymore. No one understands.
Just no. I dont even know what to say now. My girlfriend left me. My parents didn’t get me anything fir my bday. No one called. Not one person. So just as I’m about to kill myself, my mom calls me. She bitches at me for 15 mins about failing a class this quarter. I pull the trigger, nothing happens. My dad demilled the gun. There’s no firing pin. So now I’m left sitting here with my wrist gushing blood from my self injury. I don’t even want to try anymore. I want to cut my neck open and die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdpluQpyAn8
Any of you want to know where I got my username, the answer is that link. Hope you enjoy:)
I cut myself again today. New blade and everything, it’s been a while, so I guess I forgot how sharp they were, or maybe I just wasn’t fully in control. It doesn’t matter now, cause i’ve got 12 new stitches and spent the last half hour cleaning blood off the damn floor.
I know that should be disappointed in myself, because I went so long without it, but I’m not. I’m relieved because atleast now I can focus. I know in the morning I am going to be all out pissed at myself, but right now I just don’t care. Because this is the best I […]
I’m so sick of the bullying, harassing, teasing, laughing,
the discrimination, the name calling, the sexual comments, the torture.
Why is everyone around me is sick, suffering, in pain, and dying?
Everyone thinks they know how I feel, what I’m going through, why.
They judge my my expressions, my tone, my mood, my thoughts.
I wouldn’t mind being killed, or killing myself at any moment.
It’s like a never ending story, it’s like a living Hell.
Okay, Rain. Its been a long day. You can still do this though. You can still spare your life tonight. Just 3 more hours until this day ends..just three. And then you can regather whatevers left of your strength and try again. Just watch the blood leak down your arm and over your forsaken wrists..and and stop holding your breath. Today is basically over…just 3 more hours..please..hang in there…hang in there
So I’ve been thinking about suicide all week. All these questions go thru my head
Will I be missed
Will anyone care
does anyone care how I feel
Is it the best thing for me
These questions go thru my head everyday but no anwsers come to mind…
My body crashes like a broken wave. I thought the cutting and thoughts if dying were over. They fased away slowly. Then rose like the sun breakin the morning air. Someone needs to help me,be there for me, see my pain. They need to see it before it’s to late. Before I’m lying in a wooden casket six feet underground. Before I pull the trigger. Before I tie the knot around my neck. Before it’s to late to care.
