The last day or so, I’ve become seriously concerned that when I tried to kill myself, I really did injure myself cognitively in some fashion. That I’ve inflicted some permanent damage to my brain. I have no idea how long I was unconscious. Now I’m torn, do I try to recover, or do I finish the task?
An inspiring graphic novel called The Next Day, about four people who attempted suicide but survived.The Next Day is a creative and worthy undertaking, a unique and powerful discussion of an issue that is at once growing in pervasiveness and intensely tragic and troubling. There’s a review posted at New York Journal of Books: The Next Day is a creative and worthy undertaking, a unique and powerful discussion of an issue that is at once growing in pervasiveness and intensely tragic and troubling.The Next Day is a creative and worthy undertaking, a unique and powerful discussion of an issue that is at once growing in pervasiveness and intensely tragic and troubling. http://nyjournalofbooks.com/review/next-day
You know i had thought i hit my all time low last week when i realized i had no friends but ive realized that today i have really hit the nail on the head when i texted my mom for some advice on what i should do and i told her abiut my urge and she told me that i can go check myself into a.hospitla for all.she cared because she was done with me ive been crying every since then now my mom is gibing up on me too i really dont have anyone now,so whats the point in me going on im […]
So I’ve basically been fighting depression and anxiety my whole life, especially the last two years have been rough.
My life has slowly deteriorated and all my struggling just seems to be in vain. All my interests seem gray and mostly just feel like chores the few times a month I actually do them.
I feel sorry for the few friends and family that is still around me, because how can decently fulfilled people possibly be able to relate to the darkness that I emit. I used to be so positive although things were rough….
I have begun self-medicating a lot, pills, booze, it doesn’t matter. I do […]
it’s getting harder….
I keep thinking about Italy. And today in product design whilst on computers I looked up suicide websites…. Luckily I don’t think that my teacher noticed…. I want this all to stop. I know it’s selfish but it’s what I kinda want….
OCD.
Depression.
Self harm.
Self hate.
Anxiety.
Horrible family history…. :/ .
Home life….:/
School and their words….
I’m so confused. These feelings have just gotten worse, before and during Christmas and now their back….
I don’t think I can do this…..
🙁
<3
Warning to those planning on exiting. Please make sure you do not do it impulsively. Took three weeks off work. And let’s just say I was in a certain place under the influence of chemicals and alcohol and the thought occurred to me to go ahead and do it and die.
Needless to say I failed. Paid no attention to my environment and ended up with nice short stays in places where they keep one confined for one’s own safety  over the holidays. Lucky I did not lose my job.
But I did discover how the last two people who wronged me left themselves open. Not normally a […]
So i went for a jog today to help control my anxiety and i ran accross a brige and i had the biggiest urge to jump off the brige idk whats wrong with me
Some here that “know” me know I love dogs … hence my “name” – Dawg – I take in older, unadoptable and handicapped/damaged dogs that no one wants. I have a few that are permanent residents and I try to foster one or two that  have no place to go or that need a temporary place while they await medical treatment or a permanent home.
I have had more dogs die or be put down while they were “waiting” … each one kills me a little … but strangely makes me happy in that they died loved in a way they may have never experienced. You […]
sleepless nights.. dark days follow.. broken dreams fade with the sorrow.. why awake…why tommorrow? i had a heart that they wanted to borrow.. they took me away became its owner.. empty all alnone the lonly loner …. dosnt know if she feels how she sould.. and all the words come out written in blood .. the words of goodbye the words of hate … the tears of death.. the tears of too late.. the scars of punishment stay within thy soul… cant feel her numb heart out of the cold.. she feels as if her life was sold .. for a glimpse of happiness .. […]
for about 9 or so years i had lived in a small judgmental town.. i was continuesly bullied.. to the piont where the only friend i had were the plenty of cuts on my arm… i thaught if people felf sorry for me maybe they would be nice.. stupidest mistake i ever made.. it only got worse.. i attempted cuicide and ended up in the hospital.. they all beleaved it was fake.. i went by emo, slut , cocksuking *****, druggie, crazi skitzofranic, and other.. i was suspended tree times of drug use ..and had stoped coming to school.. one day i was put in […]
I’m not bipolar. I’m multipolar. Every emotion I feel is too much. I’ve thought about this a lot lately. Anxiety is my core feeling — truly the mother to all of my other feelings. Imagine that for a minute. Some of it makes sense, stuff like fear, sadness, or paranoia should stem from anxiety. But joy or happiness or love, the best and most important feelings to have, coming from anxiety? How ridiculous!
Living this way leads to a lot of extreme behavior. Edginess is the norm. Acting out is common. In the past year and a half, I’ve bought a house, gotten a divorce, lost […]
Does anyone enjoy solitude as much as I do? I haven’t left the house in 4 days and I’ve been quite happy… I couldn’t go on for too long though because I’d get lonely…but I’ve enjoyed the freedom and not having to worry about the things I normally worry about … being around others for too long just drains me at times. Ahhh, splendid isolation.
The idea of actually going through with suicide has never crossed my mind until this very moment… I mean you think about it but yearning it is a very different feeling. I’m not afraid of the pain, it can’t hurt as bad as what I’m going through and yes I know, people on this site and out in the world have a lot more problems than I do. Hell, if I could, I would fix everyone’s problems, no one should worry about having no money, losing a job, not being able to afford food or water, being sick or worse yet losing someone. No one […]
Haven’t slept for 3 days and I have a feeling this might be the 4th.no ones except me and some kids in my class who was actually concerned about why I’m so tired all the time. Well the first 2 days were spent with me getting yelled at for falling asleep in class do today I decided that I wasn’t gonna get yelled at again,I drank an energy this morning and had a whole bunch of caffeine that kept me up and about all day but I was still out of it.i don’t know what I’m gonna do about tomorrow though just because I’m broke […]
I just wanted to make sure that if I needed to do it, it would be there for me. I tried it out briefly, put it on myself. I think it might be lethal if I’ve set it up right. I could probably make it more of a sure thing with alcohol. Maybe things will get better. I feel so weak. I’m afraid that if people know, they’ll take it away from me. Nothing seems more depressing than losing my choice. Why do I feel this way? If I did it now, it would take awhile for them to find me. They’d be in bed, […]
I’ve always managed my depression very well. But recently over the last 4 months I have just seemed to sink lower and lower. Now I know it probably hasn’t helped I’ve bottled up my feelings in the past.
But anyway the main problem is I’ve lost my smile, confidence and my ability to interact socially.
See about ten years ago I was a very recluse person and if I did go out I was always a loner. Then I met my best mate and he brought the best out of me.
Now ten years later he now lives in a different town and I’ve started […]
I have attempted suicide twice. Once by hanging and once by pills and alcohol.
Both times I saw it as the only way to end the pain of being alive, of living my life, with my thoughts and my ideas of my future.
And both times I was radically incorrect about how my life would turn out. As I write this I am only now aware of that. I was so totally wrong about how things would play out for me, of all the joys and experiences I would have, of the love I would feel, of the ups that would somehow manifest themselves. If I had […]
it all started in 6th grade. i was bullied, my grandpa died, and other stupid stuff. im now in 8th grade, and i have strongly considered suicide around 11 times. couldnt God give me a break?!!?!?!? im only 14!!!!!!!!!! when your heart just feels so overwhelmed that you cant bare it any longer. i put a smile on my face everyday at school. thats just not something you want people to go around knowing. i got two really close friends. i just always felt guilty, them thinking they knew me, but they didn’t at all. they thought i was always happy and bubbly. guilt built up inside […]
The world is a horrible place, and I learnt very young, that the world can take that all away from you in a single whim.
But there were people who loved me.
& that was enough to save my life.
To me, life was an incandescent glow of pure hatred and envy.
It didn’t matter if my mother was dead or alive, because nobody cared.
& like every other life, the world would move on, and I will become nothing but an unwritten part of history.
Every day was painfully alike. Made up of an accumulation of insignificant moments.
Brushing my teeth, combing my hair, getting teased and beaten; all these moments, all these tiny deeds that have accumulated and has become what is now my life.
And each day I would wait, and think that there was a reward waiting for me in the […]