Hello everyone. I’m female, 17 y.o. – actually i’m turning 18 in 2 days. This is my first post. I’ve read the posts in this site before, but it wasn’t until now i decided to write something. It’s not the first time i’ve been thinking about suicide, as you can tell. Since the age of 11 i’ve been depressed most of the time, and i think i’ve forgotten what “joy” even means. I’ve never gone too far in my attempts, i’ve stood on the edge countless times, i’ve tied so many nooses and climbed high building, and i’ve actually prayed, i’ve prayed day and night […]

i drink every fucking night i drink and i fucking hate it. but every time i try to stop my wrists itch ready to be torn apart but i cant do a fucking thing about it. im sick of feeling. fuck it.

My mom found out I started cutting again. Tho I haven’t in 2 weeks. She said she now doesn’t trust me becuz I didn’t come talk to her about it…
I told her its hard to talk to her about it and she doesn’t understand!
I told her I still want to go to therapy and she said “well I don’t think that’s nesesary. U can talk to me” but I can’t…. It’s to hard

She kept telling me over and over again how disapoinyed she is in me. And how she can’t trust me….

Me and my friends have been planning a sleepover that I badly […]

this is my first post. I actually found this site while googling ways to kill myself. might not be the most unique way of doing so but why have class with it if my life is such a mess. seems hypocritical of me. I really do hate myself. I have alreadychanged my mind about suicide obviously if I am posting this. I just feel so alone. I’ve been in bed all day, crying. I’m tired of hearing the women on the answering machine on my boyfriend’s phone. he says he’s “busy”….I’m starting to think soon he’ll be “busy” at my funeral.

The sad thing is that i try to go a day without cutting and putting the thoughts out of my mind, but i cant even go two days without having an urge. Its become an addiction and its only getting worse..

I’m heartbroken reading how many of you feel.

I belive in a God who wants to change peoples’ lives. Because he made us to know him, whoever we are and whatever we are like.
I believe in a God who knows what it’s like, because in Jesus he came down and lived like one of us, with all that it means to be human.

I really believe this is true.

This is what Jesus says: 
 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, […]

Fact: There are three emotional things every person needs…

1.) To be loved.

2.) To love.

3.) Something to look forward to.

Today I realized that I can’t kill myself. I can’t kill myself because there are people who actually need me. There are people who actually appreciate me and my presence. There are people who love me more than I love myself and I there are people I would do anything for. If I died, it would affect so many people. Think about yourself, think about the people you care about and the people that care about you. I know someone loves whoever is reading this, multiple people […]

I never understood why I would one minute be unbelievably happy and the next minute be crying for no apparent reason..
It all started on a Monday after school, which is another reason life had been unbearable. No matter where I went I was the school whore..or at least the freshman whore. But back to that Monday night, my cousin who’s also my best friend was over spending the night. We were picking out clothes to wear for the next day at school. Then my mom came home, she was obviously stressed and started yelling at me. Next thing I know we’re screaming bloody murder […]

i cant take it anymore….

I dont know whats been going on lately….me and my mom have been fighting so much to the point i cut myself last night…last time i did that was in September when everything around me fell apart… and when i found out my boyfriend was calling anther girl babe i forgave him and im starting to trust him more and more…but today he asked me if that girl he was calling babe could go to our church to meet me… i dont know what kills me more the fact hes still talking to her after everything that happened or he would […]

Even as a child I knew how my life would end, I used to think it would be before my 21st birthday. My 23rd birthday is next month, I cant count how many failed attempts I have had. I do know that I am better educated now, I know what will and wont work, how much I should take and when to take it. I have a generalized date set, it wont be until after my birthday, it would be selfish to do it sooner. I have chosen to overdose, I have the medications I need. The money for a hotel room. I am calm […]

Today was just as horrible. Everyday I think it will get better. I thought I would be how I used to be. Then I realize nothing has changed. And I just want to leave this earth. We all return to dust anyways. What is the point of existing in this miserable place we call our planet. I cant face another day of wishing for something more. I can’t face waking up tomorrow and pretending to be happy when all I want to do is crawl into such a small ball that I eventually disappear. No one understands the real me.

1. They assume all situations are created equal.

2. They use flowery language to hide a lack of substance.

3. They attribute successes to hard work and failures to bad luck.

4. Fortune cookies work just as well, and taste much better.

5. People like to recommend them in lieu of actually doing anything helpful.

6. They assume that hard work always pays off.

7. They assume that believing in yourself always pays off.

8. They never specify what they mean by ‘believing in yourself’.

9. They cultivate false hope.

10. They only person they actually help is the author.

What is the meaning of life, There is no meaning of life its about what you do and the actions that changes things around you. But i never understood how hateful and harmful people can be not aiding each other in need just letting someone die in cold and regret not giving an hand. but i keep smiling but behind this smiling mask i am crying deeply inside it hurts it hurts soo much i want to leave this world because this hate is killing me inside may what come be good and whats old be gone in eternity help me angel of death leaving […]

My husband just told me its me against the word….that’s exactly how I feel!! I went into the cubord to get tylenol because I am sick and he yelled at me to “just take all of them everything in the cabinet! Now I have people telling me to kill myself??? My kids dont respect me and give me dirty looks. I do everyting for them. And work full time and go to school to make their lives better? I am tired of being laughed at because im fat and treated badly all the time. Now when I feel my worst I get a special request to […]

I can’t take this anymore, every new day I live I feel like I can’t take it anymore of this I am fighting to many things I want to take my life!!!! So bad I am starting to hate my family I can barely have a convo with them I feel like they wouldn’t care if I was gone they could live their day like they always do they wouldn’t miss me!!! I am battle depression anarexia and now suicide I can’t take it I just want someone to talk to but I can’t talk to my family or my friends or the people in […]

This week has been the best week of my life …  i love this kid named Jamel .. he is my boyfriend…. we only have been dating for a short time but i feel like i know him so much more…. he means everything to me . i’m glad to have met him. he told me he loved me .. we have been kissing like every second we can .. i love him more than anyone ive dated before.. he is the sweetest guy I’ve dated before… he is the sweetest and kindest .. and HOT !!! i love him this one is short but i […]