(And yes I am aware that the term is “bleeding”)
At least the cuts are easier to hide this time, they’re on my legs not my arms……. won’t make that mistake again…….. how was your guys’s day?
(And yes I am aware that the term is “bleeding”)
At least the cuts are easier to hide this time, they’re on my legs not my arms……. won’t make that mistake again…….. how was your guys’s day?
A couple days ago, I asked the Dean for some accommidations on my job. Specifically, I was having persistent short-term memory issues. What I asked for was’nt much, Just having a lab assistant (Their threshold is 25, I have classes of 23 and 22). I opened up to the Dean.
Worst. Mistake. Ever.
Apparently, she mentions things to the Director, who immediately schedules a meeting with me and the Dean the next day. Once in there, I am informed that my requests are against policy without written, medical documentation, and it was strongly inferred that even asking for help indicates that I can’t handle the rigors of […]
I haven’t been able to get online since christmas eve, I was gonna try again new years eve, but a friend of mind figured out and wouldn’t leave me alone long enough to even cut my wrist, I’m not trying to whine or complain, but why is it such a bad thing to want to die? People act like it’s the worst idea ever, but it definitely beats living. Anyway, I haven’t cut in a while, I’ll probably go back to doing that now, at least it helps me get by.
Well for the people who don’t know last year, 7th grade was the one time in my life that I wish I could change. The year I figured out who I really was and what I really wanted to do. It was also the year I had gotten sexually abused for the 4th time by my mothers boyfriend :’). I’ve noticed my sexual abusers are always linked to my family in some way and they go on for long periods of time :/. Anyways he had moved in with us and stuff and then things started happening like very small unnoticeable things until the big […]
i have problems getting to school.. becuse  i cant sleep.. so lastnight i pulled an all nighter becuse my mom wants me at shcool.. to keep myself awake throughout the night i had about 3 redbulls.. 3 rockstars.. and 3 five hour evergy shots.. i was in class and i was dizzy and faint i was going to be sick..i had a breakdown .. i was shaking .. it was so bad my school counceler took me to the hospital.. i felt dead… i have never felt so sick.. i threw up for the longest time.. i told the nurse .. i am done .. […]
They laugh at her scars
call her pathetic
miss place her
 unknowing that when she gets home she will be ending her life
 because if the scars arnt screaming help me then what is?
.. i am not ending my life.. i wrote this about a week ago when i was close to it… hope you like.. tell me what you think.
Accept that you are repulsive.Accept that she is disgusted by you.Accept that you are not lovable. Accept that tomorrow will be like yesterday.Accept that she is sunshine.Accept that darkness is all you have. Accept that you’ll never be touched.Accept that there is no poetry.Accept that your death won’t be romantic.Accept that she will not mourn.Accept that this made it too much to carry.Accept that there’s no magic.Accept that there’s no miracles.Accept that the need makes you scream.Accept that she looks like heaven.Accept that heaven is illusory.Accept that her heart beats.Accept that it doesn’t beat for you.Accept that her lips could have saved you.Accept that you […]
I know when, I have a pretty good idea of how, and I think I know where. It’s just a case of if I can wait that long, its nearly 4 months away, if I can continue to pretend to care, if I can act normal.
I also have considered the people I will have left behind, and I have selected what I hope to be the right book to send to each of them when the time is right. Yes I have people that I may care enough for to wish that they will realise why I have chosen this path, and that it shouldn’t […]
1. write suicide notes
2. give them out
3. if a singularity within my life doesn’t occur as a result, suicide
I’m tired of existing, seriously tired of it. I’ve reached the end of my life. Not in school, no desire to go back; just working to keep myself alive. No girlfriend/lover, just girl friends who I love dearly. Tons of family that adores me but they represent most of what I hate about humanity. I can’t stop myself from being me, or I should say, I don’t want to stop myself from being me.
I’m lazy; I don’t want to work for the life that I […]
Like 2 days ago i took abiut thirty sleeping pills not trying to kill myself just trying to get away but i didnt tell anyone and my stomach has been hurting should i consider seeking medical attention
I have been under surviellence by the narcotics division and feds for almost 4 years now by helicopter (every single day 365 days a year), and under other surviellence for over 6 years. I used to be into dealing drugs and long story short, convicted of multiple drug felonies. I was so deep into drugs ill give you an extent, I did 78 Exctasy pills, 10 hits of acid, smoked 7 grams of crack, snorted 3 grams of coke, snorted heroin and was still alive, I consider myself a recovering addict but the side effects have haunted me for the past 7 years. […]
As many of you may have guessed, I intended to make my final exit this coming weekend, however I wish to delay it for an additional week. It may sound funny or that I “chickened out” but I have come down with a nasty sinus infection with the yellow goop and all and I do not want to die while I am feeling sick. 🙂
As I have said many times, I have a careful plan, but there is absolutely no Drop Dead date or time or schedule that I have to meet. I keep advising others about there being no rush to die, so I […]
Hey here is a really good video….it helped me a lot is called  a reason to live, it leaves a grat message.
living life. who knows? maybe it does get better. but time doesnt heal everything. that is such a lie, whoever said it does. people will crush you eventually if they havent already. hell I’m not even 20 and everyone I know has hurt me one way or another, physically and mentally. I found out yesterday that i have body dysmorphic disorder. and my mom told me that im gonna be seeing a doctor soon for my chemical imbalance because they think im getting too depressed. but i wouldnt call it depressed, more like disturbed. mentally disturbed.
Looking through others’ stories, I know my situation and emotions are not unique. I’m also acutely aware that I could be a lot worse off than I am. Sometimes I see my depression as self-pity. Maybe it is. None of it changes that when I lost my job this week — the only good thing that was mine alone — it made me want to die all over again.
I doubt I will be able to get another job at all like the one I just lost. My work history is sketchy, and personal connections and education inadequate.  I’m 25 years old and I have never […]
The last day or so, I’ve become seriously concerned that when I tried to kill myself, I really did injure myself cognitively in some fashion. That I’ve inflicted some permanent damage to my brain. I have no idea how long I was unconscious. Now I’m torn, do I try to recover, or do I finish the task?
You know i had thought i hit my all time low last week when i realized i had no friends but ive realized that today i have really hit the nail on the head when i texted my mom for some advice on what i should do and i told her abiut my urge and she told me that i can go check myself into a.hospitla for all.she cared because she was done with me ive been crying every since then now my mom is gibing up on me too i really dont have anyone now,so whats the point in me going on im […]
So I’ve basically been fighting depression and anxiety my whole life, especially the last two years have been rough.
My life has slowly deteriorated and all my struggling just seems to be in vain. All my interests seem gray and mostly just feel like chores the few times a month I actually do them.
I feel sorry for the few friends and family that is still around me, because how can decently fulfilled people possibly be able to relate to the darkness that I emit. I used to be so positive although things were rough….
I have begun self-medicating a lot, pills, booze, it doesn’t matter. I do […]
it’s getting harder….
I keep thinking about Italy. And today in product design whilst on computers I looked up suicide websites…. Luckily I don’t think that my teacher noticed…. I want this all to stop. I know it’s selfish but it’s what I kinda want….
OCD.
Depression.
Self harm.
Self hate.
Anxiety.
Horrible family history…. :/ .
Home life….:/
School and their words….
I’m so confused. These feelings have just gotten worse, before and during Christmas and now their back….
I don’t think I can do this…..
🙁
<3
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