Or just ranting and complaining life sucks and just wanting to die?
I have never done this before but this seems like a safe enough place to talk without fear of being sent back to a hospital setting. I am 28 currently and have been fighting the urge for suicide since I was 12. That’s 16 years I have been thinking about it and trying. I can’t seem to do anything right, I can’t even kill myself right. My mom killed herself when I was 15 and secretly I have always felt partially responsible, considering she let me know as a small child how much of a disappointment I was. I was hospitalized when I was 12 […]
I’m suck and tired of guys says I look like a dude! I hate it! I’m a girl! And I think I look like a girl.
So what is I wear baggy clothes and don’t wear low shirts so show everyone my boobs!
So I have my hair up to my shoulders! That doesn’t make me a guy!
Like seriously I’m sick of this! Can u just see that I’m a female!?
-Morgan
I’m crashing, not because I’m tired, but, my not drug related high is gone. I’m emotionally drained. But I was happy this morning. I get on my lunch break, and I’m immediately down…ready to leave this shit job…ready to leave this earth, considering the fact that none of this matters…none of the effort I put into life will ever matter…we all die eventually. So what’s the point? I don’t plan on dying anytime soon…unless some cosmic accident takes my life away. I think I’m content with dying…as long as I can’t feel it or it doesn’t hurt. I’m content because i feel like I have […]
Why am I sensitive and emotionally unstable? To be honest I just don’t know..
Why am I bulimic? I want a body… Like what I see most girls have. I know it’s stupid… But it’s the truth. But I’m trying to stop. I only puke once a week usually now…
Why do I cut? I can explain it. If you cut then you’ll know why I do.
Why am I depressed? No idea. I’ve been depressed for 4months straight and I’m sick of it.
Why do I fall for guys easily? Also have no clue. I think it’s becuz I’ve watched to many movies and read to […]
I truly believed she was the one.
I truly believed she was my soul mate.
But, to her I was just an ordinary guy.
I don’t want to live anymore.
Thinking about past lover is truly a torture.
there is days where i don’t want to get out of bed. people say i’m looking for attention, but i’m really not… i cut and do drugs to make me feel happy to feel better. its not good its not smart i know that but its hard not to want to feel happy… i just need help finding out where this all started, my life’s not that messed up, but there’s people that might tell me different. my sister was a user too maybe i got it from her? she walked out of my life at a young age and i never had her around, but […]
How am I? I’m awful. I can’t describe how terrible I’m feeling at the moment. I want to cry but I just think I’d feel more pathetic. I hate it and no one realises. I hate everyday and I just don’t want to deal with at all.
Today I’ve seen some hateful words of family members I thought would be there no matter the situation! All my life has been a struggle. The past couple of years have been an extreme roller coaster ride for me. I met my baby daddy in 2008 I got pregnant in 2009 our lives have been difficult. My family has seen everything I’ve been through. Last year my baby daddy was sentence to 18mths in prison. I was left with my son to raise on my own. I was in an abuse relation with him. But we work it out through all that. Before he went […]
I don’t know how I ended up here. Im drunk. like I always am at night. I think I’ve been on this site before but I dont remember… I need to hurt. To get it out. I used to cut myself every hour exactly it wouldnt work if it was any later than that so I’d end up cutting enough to make up for lost time but I can’t now, I met someone. No. I love someone. He saved me from the worst but he can’t save me when he’s not here so I do the most damage without actually cutting anymore cos I promised […]
I’m really not. I mean, I have depression. I cut. I smoke. I do drugs. anything to make me feel the happiness that normal people do. but I’ve never tried to kill myself. I’ve wanted to. I lost my brother to suicide in 2008. ever since, I swore I’d never do it, because my family was so broken; and my mom is still devastated beyond repair. she told me the night he died that if I hadn’t been there, she would have killed herself too. she made me promise that I’d never do it. I promised, because I believed it, because I believed I was […]
4 days past from the time were saw each other. Nothing changed. The same cold, formal and painfull for me messages.
I still don’t understand.
Some people can do everything to get such love as i give.. I gave everything to him.. I took care of him. I love him every day. I support him in each step. I am always giving all attention. Telling compliments. Cooked all the time. Made him laugh. Had the best sex he ever had – wild, hot, like 6 times a day. Every day & night when we are together. His all friends and family loves me. Especialy family. I am […]
Still alive,……….. haven’t logged in in over a month.
I am bleeding again. Â Waiting for the end I try and fail. Â My love has been taken from me and may never be returned. Â Suicide embraces my mind while I search for an answer to why this has happened to me. Â My tears are not drying and I can feel my soul slipping into the abyss. Â Slowly slipping into the unknown and the peacefulness of silence, I fall. Â I watch myself fall and I think that this cannot be it. Â This cannot be how it happens. Â I try to pray but hear nothing. Â My life is composed of truth and lies, violence and […]
Hi. My name is Morgan, i use this site often. I feel it helps. I’ve been depressed for about 4 months now. But today I was happy 🙂 it kinda comes and goes
I’m bulimic and I cut… I’ve only tried killing myself 2 times…. And I don’t want to die any more. But yet I don’t want to live….
-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle!
I’m afraid of myself because there no longer is a me.If you were to look behind my mask you would only see an empty hollow shell.I have disappeared only to be replaced my mask.That’s l am a mask.
these white walls look bare
when seen from the bars of my hospital bed;
flowers, horses, waterfalls, meadows —
imprisoned in the black frames of stock photographs
these white walls already feel like home:
a prison for a brain, which itself imprisons the soul,
the smell of disinfecting alcohol our perfume.
I never got around to hating this place,
these white walls are my solace, you see
a canvas for endless ruminations on Eternity–
where Jekyll can sleep, and Hyde
can exhaust himself under medical supervision
until he fades away,
lying dormant for some other day.
people come and go, but I stay
until my […]
Those thoughts come rushing back to the front of my mind.
I know how I want to die…
I want to get into a car accident…
That way at least it wouldn’t look like suicide and not guilt trip the ones I love.
And yet if I did that, I would make some other person and their family miserable.
So I haven’t yet…but everytime I drive, it’s there in the back of my mind…inching closer and closer until the idea is decorated with reason and temptation.
But instead, that old familiar feeling of self inflicted pain I yearn so much for is screaming in my […]
Hi everyone. Sorry I haven’t written in a while. Ive been lazy. But I’ve had a good day today 🙂 I’m happy. But I doubt that will last long. It never does.
Well I’ve realized. I need more friends who are like me. Like friends who get me and that I call tell them “I’m bulimic” or “I cut”… If u guys know how I can make friends like that let me know. Or if you want to be a friend like that. But I’d prefer you’d be around my age. So around 14. I think it might help me…
-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle!
I’m scared.I’m scared or letting my mask down because I’m afraid I don’t know who I am anymore.I’m afraid of even trying because the scary part is I don’t know how anymore.I don’t know how to let it go and be myself or even by myself.Who am I really?Who am I not?