I almost died when I was born, I had liver problems, Kidney problems, was in the ICU at the hospital for weeks because they all thought I wouldn’t make it. I did.
At 18months old, I contracted Viral Bronchiole Pneumonia, I almost died from that too, I spent 6 months in hospital because it affected me badly. I also had asthma. I survived. When I found this out when I moved into Primary school [years 3 – 6] I felt happy that I’d survived, proud that I’d fought to live, But then you, my so called friends, took all that pride, Happiness EVERYTHING away from […]

sadly im still hear. this just makes me even more upset.. im to affraid to do anything. but i want to. i want peace. i want my heart to stop hurting. i want all the pain to dissapear. but im to scared it will hurt. id love to be able to die in my sleep. but im not old enough and my heart is in perfict health. i dont understand anything anymore.

the memories of being raped, molested, and beaten all rush back. i want to lie in bed and cry. i want to stay with my mom and live in the little happiness i have […]

what am I supposed to do… do I continue on, through the rain? or do I fall and slowly drown.

I purposly ‘lost’ my polio/ TB jab form. which was supposed to be in for today, in hopes that I won’t have to get it. why? you ask. well, I don’t really know how to answer that. I am, but I amn’t. but ever so slowly, the plate carrying ‘I am’ is creeping down, the weight over throwing ‘I amn’t’.

Today, something so, incredibly horrible happened. I wore a long sleeved shirt for the first time in years. And during geography, someone in my class asked me […]

Dave Culley,

You. You are a sick disgusting excuse for a man. I don’t know who you think you are to try and screw with my life. But that is not okay. To put your hands on a child in such wrong ways and then LIE about it. What goes on in your head, you are a grown man. Act like it. You tore your family apart just to have a sad excuse of a fling with a CHILD. You are sick. SICK. Yeah I am using all caps, you think you can hurt me, but in all reality all you did is make me a […]

I posted yesterday for an exit parter but deleted my post.

I’m so messed up at the moment, I’ve tried to kill myself before, and I’m close to making my final/successful effort.

I don’t know I guess I just want to talk to someone else feeling the same way. Maybe methods, maybe someone to do it with, I really don’t know. Just wanna talk to someone else who isn’t going to judge me for this.

Timeforchange2011@gmail.com

So i’ve decided this to be my means of exit.  So hellium would be easier to get in larger quantities in the US.  You could walk to Walmart and get a hellium tank to blow up balloons.  But since it looks like ******** is more effecient.. I’d like to use that.  The easiest way I can think of gettin ******** is paintball gun tanks.. But how many would I need to be effective.  Any ideas?  Cause short of ordering a ******** capable tank and going to a company like BevCo to getting it filled… I dont see a better idea. Plus that and the red flags […]

my dad is missing and I think he commented on here, someone called in his comment and I don’t know how they knew his last name and where he was from…. his username is Brad and he posted on Jan. 13th… please help me whoever called it in…

i went over to the house of this guy i’ve been dating the other day. we started making out and before i knew it, i was thrown on the bed and he was pulling off my clothes. I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. he started to fuck me and i kept begging him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. after that he made me run his errands.

after all the shit i already have in my life, this is the final straw. i’m seriously considering to attempt my suicide one more time.

I was diagnosed with a borderline personality when I was 13. I’ve been a cutter for a long time.
I lost custody of my only child, the only reason I had to live. I have destroyed my life! I have no reason to keep going and want my suffering to end. Has anyone made up their mind to end their life? I will die with you so we dont have to be alone. I want to purchase a gun. I have thought of starting myself on fire but am afraid I will survive. Please email me if you dont want to do this alone. melismini6@aol.com

I’m really tired of school. Not tired of academics but the social part. Everyone thinks im so funny and outgoing..not true. Im dying slowly on the inside. No one knows. It gets annoying how people expect me to act happy all the time. Like when im down somone will ask me whats wrong and i’ll feel uncomfortable telling anyone why.Im no ones friend. Im just someone that people use to make them happy. I’m tired of playing this role for them(my peers). I just want to go to another school and start over. Just to be quiet and no one know me. :/

What’s my dream? What’s my future? I had a dream once. I wanted to be a police officer. It never happened and I don’t think it ever will come true. Once I thought I could do every thing I wanted to do if I put my mind to it. But come to realize that I’m on able to do so. I feel like that I’m a prisoner to my own mind. That I’m trapped here for a reason, but what is that reason? I’m 20 years old and still don’t know what it could be. Some times I figure that I can’t move on. I […]

Today started off as a great day until later tonight when my step brother text me… He had just recently gotten a cell phone and wanted my number so my step dad gave it to him. Big no no D: So my step brother was texting me and reviled that he had a “serious crush” on me. Could the night get any worse??

Not to be rude or anyhting but this kid is just not the one for me. >.< He’s rude, annoying, mean, and alot of other stuff.. I’m scared that this kid will try and rape me or something just as bad.. It’s safe […]

I’m falling from this cliff, this empire of shattered glass,

 The jagged shards of horror glimmering,

Magnificently in the light,

Bloodied rainbows,

 Reflecting off the body strewn, bloody water

Of the overflowing moat.

Each shard is a piece of me,

A destroyed broken twisted piece of what was once my life.

Every shard holds the ghost of an image, a memory.

But each is stained,

Stained with old and new,

Fresh and aged, splatters of blood.

 

Every terrible, horrible thing you said,

The insults, the shouting, the terrible […]

As the rain pours down, across the darkened night sky,

Violent, dark,  raging streams of cold water,

Running across my foggy decrepit vision.

My soul; a dark and morbidly twisted thing,

A gaping hole in my being.

Death’s cruel, frozen grasp,

Won’t let me turn back,

From disgusting Fate’s long, twisted, bloody hands.

My friend is Hate,

Her silky black hair,

Shading brooding, black eyes.

My heart screams out in the painful,

 Agonizing, soul shattering cries,

Of the shadow bound Sorrow’s

Loving caress.

I fall to my knees,

Cold water streaming across my pale skin,

As its takes on the color of crimson blood.

Shaking I scream out to the heavens,

Before Fear holds me in his quieting,

Mesmerizing stare.

Then Grief holds me,

Her cold, corpse-like […]

I set the date. theres no stopping this.

save my soul for i am young. Though i sin i am brave though i sin i am smart save my soul for tomorrow morn i dont want to die tomorrow and burn in hell . A fiery death never cold always too hot , never loved always forgotten things burned photos riped always forgotten never loved.

Hi guys,
I’ve been hanging around this site since before Christmas, and posted a few times. I just wondered if there are any other Christians out there who are battling suicidal thoughts. For me, being a Christian makes it harder in a way, because I believe that after death I will be in heaven, and will be happy. If it weren’t for my two precious boys (aged 10 and 13) I would leave here very soon, but for them I want to stick around at least a few more years
Would anyone be interested in making some kind of support e-mail group for Christians who […]

I never seem to have a good day. All of my “friends” here seem to think its up to me to make every choice and shiz. If I wanna do something I have to speak up. And sometimes, it seems like they just use me for how I feel. : / I don’t want to put my whole life story on here, but a friend that I could talk to and stuff would be great.

bipolar=fucking sad. it won’t stop. ever.

todays gonna be a good day. listening to the Bears v Packers game on R5SX. (can’t watch it in scotland) with my bowl of Lucky charms! which I havn’t had since I was THREE D:

and hopefully I’ll be talking to my friend jake (: he always seems to cheer me up.

advice to all of you. suck up the good moments like a spounge to water.