I am facing the fact That death by suicide is possibly going to be the way I leave this world. It’s not a snap decision and doesn’t even feel like a choice. Just from an exhaustion in every level of my being. Was it the build up of traumas physical and emotional over the last few years in particular? Or was the 13 year old me all those years ago wise when she thought she would only make it to her 30’s before getting tired. Is this a phase or is this the end ?My physical pain from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and hellish depression and […]
no one gives a sit about me anymore. i dont even care about myself im that fucking worthless. somebody help me. i cant do this anymore!
The emotions I am feeling right now are indescribable by mere words alone. Those emotions did not come lightly. I’m seriously suicidal,  I will be gone this weekend.  My reasons would possibly be laughed at by most people, I would expect nothing more and that’s part the reason I am suicidal. But there just might be others that understand my reasons, and that is why I am creating my suicide note online for anyone to see.Â
I can’t help but think about the human race, our place in the Universe. Our history, our future. And I keep thinking, that something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong.
As […]
I am a heart with no beat,
That only yearns for life,
A mind always buried,
In just way too much strife,
I am a broken spirit,
Longing for revive,
Living life everyday,
Wondering how to survive,
I am a lost smile,
That never dares to show,
Because no one understands,
What I am going through,
I wish nor to be so broken,
I wish to be strong,
I pray that thigs won’t stay this way,
That they won’t be so wrong.
I am a heart with no beat,
That only yearns for life,
A mind always buried,
In just way too much strife,
I am a broken spirit,
Longing for revive,
Living life everyday,
Wondering how to survive,
I am a lost smile,
That never dares to show,
Because no one understands,
What I am going through,
I wish nor to be so broken,
I wish to be strong,
I pray that thigs won’t stay this way,
That they won’t be so wrong.
Something in her eyes, the way she likes to cry
must be the smoke in my lungs
tear up and watch me burn
I feel like its okay I feel so good today
dizzy me,your so easy to entertain
I smiled at the way you laughed like this was a joke
I’m a failure when I fall
the worlds no pleasure I feel so small
fetal fusion on the wall
I tried to please her
she watched me fall, romance me burned
smoked out smoked away I feel so much better
something in you strikes a chord
I feel like you watch me
watch me burn, warn me soon
the fires cold, so cold im burned
If I made you cry […]
I just recently saw a comment by someone called Softcreation which said that death ‘has to come naturally’. I always question this concept (I am not against the concept, I am just struggling to find any truth behind it). So I would like to hear others opinions on this as it is something that I struggle with. Mostly I would like to specifically ask Softcreation these questions;
1) How do you know that death must come naturally? Is it something religious you have based your belief on?
2) How would you regard other (more frequent) deaths than those that are caused ‘naturally’, like in war, in violence and […]
After so many things that have been said, and happening in this wonderfully eye-opening site,
I’ve ever gone to do more researches online on some proofs of consciousness does exist and goes on..
And some of the findings are surprisingly make sense a lot.
Here I’ll list some of them:
“The simple truth is that WE are all 5D spiritual Beings temporarily within a 3D physical body!..When our 3D body dies, spiritual us, our consciousness, then moves back to the world of Spirit, our true *home* sometimes known as *Heaven* (which has many different levels), and to our limited 3D eyesight 5D spirits are invisible, as […]
There’s so much talk on this site about looking after your spirit more than what it actually means to be human. There needs to be a strict system in place that controls our evolution, or else the human race will not survive. I agree to some extent about a recent blog on here about the bipolar mental disorder, in so much that yes, it seems quite harsh the way those suffering from this illness are treated. But, the clue is in the word ‘disorder’. We need order to survive.Â
The human evolution is not a spiritual evolution, it is one controlled by technology. The rate at which […]
you may not believe it
but there are people
who go through life with
very little
friction or
distress.
they dress well, eat
well, sleep well.
they are contented with
their family
life.
they have moments of
grief
but all in all
they are undisturbedÂ
and often feel
very good.
and when they die
it is an easy
death, usually in their
sleep.
Silence is golden
Silence is golden
So shut the fuck up
Every word you say
Is one sad joke
Prancing around
Thinking there’s something you actually know
I would think you funny
If you didn’t piss me off so bad
How can so much stupidity come out of just one mouth?
I would throttle you
If murder were allowed
Your silence is golden
Just shut the fuck up
What has the world come to when the only way I can ever hear a few kind words is to write an extensive sob story on a website dedicated to a bunch of suicidal maniacs?
I can’t take this anymore, or maybe I just don’t want to deal with it. I personally never thought love would make you feel broken or worthless. I used to think it was stupid. Somehow I made myself like others, thinking just way they did. I have never let myself fall in love, neither I wanted to. But just a few days you said the words plainly, no reasons, nor did I wanted to hear them. They’re cruel words, ‘break up’, makes you all clumsy, pretty useless. And then it all came to me, I needed you, in my daily life, because I was only […]
Wind whistles through the sycamore leaves, shaking each one to it’s very core. The sun contrasts the chilling breeze, as if pouring warm water on a piece of ice. The grass grows green and thick, even as the days grow short, and the air grows cold. There is still life. Leaves blow past me, evidence of lush, ever pervasive life. Water gushes forth from a stream; fish swim in it’s depths, birds bathe on it’s shores. As I look around me, at the trees, the grass, the fish below the water, the flocks of bird overhead, I understand. […]
r uthe type of person who cant get anything¿?
i never get anything i want ..
 it was never meant to be.
fucking world
all i’ve done was be your best friend. and here you are making me cry every night with your hurtful words.
I’m really in a bad way.
I posted something on here a few days ago about my girlfriend being really depressed and talking about suicide. A couple of people commented, but I can’t find that post now, I guess they’re only visible for a day or so.Â
I just wanted to update my post.
Yesterday early morning was a living nightmare, it started with me suggesting that we go for a walk, it ended up being a 3 hour long argument with her crying and saying really weird stuff throughout. It really freaked me out. I went to the bathroom and as I sat down I suddenly had […]
Studies have shown that depressed people tend to have a more accurate grasp of reality; a phenomenon known as ‘depressive realism’. While ‘healthy’ people massively overestimate the likelihood that they will win the National Lottery, for example, depressed individuals make a far more sober assessment of the odds. Their opinions concerning their looks, abilities, the control they have over their lives, their self-importance, are all more in accord with what others think about them, whereas healthy people continually review themselves far more favourably than any objective criteria should permit. Paradoxically, systematic self-delusion is almost a prerequisite for good mental health.
Who do you think will fare […]
Hard to tell
Or recognize a sign
To see me through
A warning sign
First the thunder
Then the storm
Torn asunder
In the storm
Satisfied
If the past it will not lie
The future, you and I
Get blown away
In a lifetime In a lifetimeÂ
And as the rain it falls
Heavy in my heart
Believe the light in you
Faded and worn
Torn asunder in the storm
Begin again
As the storm breaks through
So the light shines in you
Without color
Torn asunder in the storm
Unless the sound has faded fromÂ
your soul
Unless it disappears
First the thunder
Then the storm
Torn asunder
In the […]
XXXXXX Is the Devil! Do not listen to it.