Tag:

Act

Fake? I can’t anymore…

by dead_soul 11/8/2012

written by dead_soul

I canâ€™t live anymore.

Iâ€™ve tried to suicide since I was 11, and I was suicidal when I was 10.
Iâ€™ve faked a smile, a laugh; Iâ€™m good at hiding my emotions. I can act like Iâ€™m perfectly happy, when Iâ€™m hurt. I canâ€™t help it. I donâ€™t want to show. I canâ€™t speak up. Iâ€™m trapped in a living nightmare.
I feel like I have no family. My mom is always at work. And my dad…Him.

He sits in front of the computer and never seems to even MOVE. Heâ€™s like a statue, frozen. I feel like I canâ€™t talk. Talking to a statue is pointless […]

11/8/2012 3 comments

What’s the big deal

by jjgirl13 10/31/2012

written by jjgirl13

I was just thinking. Why do people guilt trip over cutting themselves?
Who the fuck cares what other people think? (Well, maybe that’s more of my perspective.) It’s non-lethal, it hurts less than getting a tattoo, you just don’t get a pretty picture at the end. I mean, for pain itself, there would be constructive and productive things to do like yoga, or running till your legs give out, that hurt a lot more than some scrapes. The intensity of pain you feel from pushing your bodily limits are usually a lot worse than the actual act of cutting. If you consistently need stitches and […]

10/31/2012 9 comments

Hello. My name is Christina and I’m a pathetic whore.

by christina-- 10/27/2012

written by christina--

I really wanted to leave. But I didnt. I just lay here in my bed crying, curled up in a ball. Which is how I spend most of my days, actually.

I texted my only friend. I dont know why. The conclusion of that conversation was that she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. There were various reasons: I’m selfish. I live in my own world. I have a lack of respect. I treat people like shit.

Thoe all sound like very legit reasons. I just spend the last hour making sure I absolutely have no contact with the outside world whatsoever except for this […]

10/27/2012 0 comment

Its alarming honestly, how charming she can be.

by christina-- 10/25/2012

written by christina--

Fooling everyone, telling them she’s having fun.

I really need one of those rooms they put the crazy people in when theyre not allowed to hurt themself. With those cushions on the wall.

I need to stop banging my head to the wall.

I wsh I knew how to act like a normal person.

Maybe I shouldnt wait till D-day. What is stopping me now? Nothing. No one. Â I have no reason to not do it today. I have no reason to never do it. I have no reason to stay.

I wish I had a reason.

10/25/2012 0 comment

What is the point?IDK

by Christa Cruel 10/12/2012

written by Christa Cruel

I have been feeling really low for years I am a 5’11Â AfricanÂ american 22 year old fat girl I intimidate people so I can understand why some people turn their faces up when I enter the room or when I do somethingÂ embarrassing whyÂ they judge me with their eyes sometimesÂ I want to Â take myself out of this world so as to not burden my family. My shameful trying face is my problem its fake to me That face of Â mine that tries at life the me that is happy feel like all an actÂ to work for an empty place thatÂ neverÂ existsÂ andÂ I’mÂ starting to feel like even strangers can […]

10/12/2012 1 comment

Noise and Silence

by humansdestroyhumanity 9/29/2012

written by humansdestroyhumanity

It’s too loud to act upon inspiration.
Â
Silence cannot be gained when humans are awake.
Â
Useless talking and a response of irritation.
Talking commences and whining ensues.
Â
Just shut up already. Â You have no point.
Â
Why are you still making noise.
Â
Go to sleep and stop hanging around me,
creating bothersome sound and pushing me around.
Â
Silence falls when humans sleep,
the world comes back to life while minstrels weep.
Â
Â
Â
Â

You can probably tell I’m not in the best mood. Â If you can’t, just know that whenever I write poetry and such, I’m probably not in the best of moods. Â Not necessarily angry or depressed. Â Just not positive.

9/29/2012 4 comments

I don’t know what to do anymore.

by hopelessdreamer 9/16/2012

written by hopelessdreamer

I’ve never been so lost in my entire life. I don’t even know where to start.

I’ve been depressed, anxious, and suicidal my whole life. It’s been miserable. It’s so hard having nobody to talk to. MyÂ family doesn’tÂ understand. Every single day I put on my fake smile and act like I’m okay, but I’m not. I try to get my parents to hear me. I cry out, but nobody listens. I’m invisible to them.

I have no idea what I’m doing with me life. My dreams were always shot down. They said I wasn’t special and that I’d never make it. I still believe I can. But […]

9/16/2012 4 comments

I’m broken

by Ashley 8/7/2012

written by Ashley

I’m not really sure what made me register for this website. it’s just something inside of me made me think that finally I have found people that might understand. I feel ugly fat worthless. I feel like if I die nobody would notice. I started cutting about febuary. I stopped for about a month. then I started again. I want to just take a knife and slit me throat. I want to die. it’s just that noone cares. some people say they do but then they act like I am just… I don’t know. just a peice of trash. they don’t really care. I want […]

8/7/2012 4 comments

I am close to letting go

by woopsydo 8/2/2012

written by woopsydo

I felt suicidal as a teenager, 20 years ago, and never thought it would happen again.Â I’m a trained mental health worker, I know the signs, I know who I am supposed to call, what I’m supposed to do,Â but I don’t see the point.Â Up until May this year I thought suicide was a sad act, and now, I think it is a viable option.Â Infact, I’ve come up with my own therapy, I have a plan.Â On the 26th of September 2014 I am allowed to take my own life.Â Four months before this date, decision making goes in to lock down- as in- […]

8/2/2012 2 comments

isn’t it strange?

by eloise 7/23/2012

written by eloise

People die all the time. Lot’s of beings (human, animal, plant) are dying now.

Yet if I choose to die now, others act as though it matters.

Some die when they are old and their body gives up, others die from a disease. Some die in accidents, others in murders. Some die even before they were born. Me, I’m going to die by my own hand.

7/23/2012 2 comments

All I want to do…

by eva.h 7/16/2012

written by eva.h

All I want to do is to sleep.

Permanently.

As a Christian, I was taught to give thanks every morning, to be grateful that I am alive and well. Unfortunately, I am doing the exact opposite. I keep asking: “Why am I still alive this morning?” I pray to God to take my life away because (initially) I don’t believe in suicide.

Apparently that didn’t help much because I am still alive and kicking.

And so here I am, contemplating suicide… With suicide I know for sure I will never have to wake up again…

7/16/2012 7 comments

I deserve to be hated, I don’t deserve love

by StrandedSelkie 6/26/2012

written by StrandedSelkie

That’s what I’ve learnt in life.Â I don’t deserve to be loved, I must be the worst person ever, thus all I deserve is pain and misery. I’m tired and today was hell, so bare with me if I don’t make much sense. Ever since I remember I’ve wanted to be loved and accepted.. and ever since i remember, I’ve been denied. My mother has always hated me. She’d never say a nice thing about me, she was convinced I’d only exist to ruin her life, cause her misery and she still accuses me of having tried to kill her when i was 5… nobody […]

6/26/2012 2 comments

Jerk? wow.

by Whateverbell 6/20/2012

written by Whateverbell

i will never understand someone who can say someone else isÂ judgmentalÂ and that person themselves are. My sister judges me a lot. She calls me a jerk, mean,Â emotionlessÂ everything, and i dont understand why. She doesn’t know what i went throughÂ everydayÂ at school. Do i think im a jerk and all that? No! And if i am then i don’t mean to be. Everyone has their off days. it just pisses me the freak off when she says that stuff about me. I feel like she doesnt even know anything about me or my life, or the things i go through, and she has the nerve to sit […]

6/20/2012 1 comment

I’m the type of girl who…

by ParadiseFears- 6/6/2012

written by ParadiseFears-

I’m the type of girl to put on an act to keep the world off my back. Even when I’m trying to push them away, I actually just want someone to stop me and tell me I don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m the girl who sits in her room crying, thinking back to the past and wondering how I ever made it this far.
Everyday I go to school and pretend to be that happy girl you’ll find in every class. Everyone buys my act and they think I’m happy, that nothings wrong, but they’re all wrong.
There will never be a time where I’ve never […]

6/6/2012 1 comment

not a cry for help!!

by NotReallyHereAtAll 5/30/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

I just read a definition for suicide calling it a cry for help. It really annoyed me, because in my opinion it’s the exact opposite. Suicide happens when we feel there is no help to be given whatsoever, suicide is when we can’t help ourselves and can’t be helped by anyone else. Suicide is deciding that we’ve had enough of this fucking world and don’t want any help staying in it. The only way suicide could possibly be a cry for help would be if it was a purposely messy and obvious attempt, or if the person told a shitload of people their plans, or […]

5/30/2012 4 comments

If I did then I couldn’t bring them back

by APathNoOneCanFollow 5/29/2012

written by APathNoOneCanFollow

What a watchful eye. Not a moment is there just for myself.
Those who I confide in my outer most opinion know nothing of my inner pain or what I really think. Those who I have believe I can share this with are no longer the high points of my life. I’m too personal, well I would if anyone took the interest. No one wants the opinion of a 16 year old with all the gadgets and a loving girlfriend. He has the life, what’s to complain about. IM ALONE! I’m fucking alone damnit! What do you care? You don’t! Bu still I will listen […]

5/29/2012 1 comment

It’ll take an act of Congress…

by Strahd 5/29/2012

written by Strahd

So my roommate dared me to post my story, my whole story. He doesn’t think it’s that bad. I think it’s horrible. And I don’t want to live much longer a life that isn’t mine.

I’d say I had a fairly ‘normal’ up bringing. I had a really close family that was always supportive and loving. Never any abuse in my family of any sort that I am aware of. We had traditions, etc. I have been experiencing signs of depression since the age of 12 or so (I am 31 now.). I have always been a computer savvy person, and have had computer jobs during […]

5/29/2012 6 comments

i hate life

by depresseds0ul 5/23/2012

written by depresseds0ul

i don’t understand the way i act

but itsÂ apparentlyÂ making people react

i dont get why.

i thought i was allowed to be unique.

and one of a kind.

but obviously not, cause boy.

i just got judged

by something i didn’t think i was.

it made me want to cry

it made me want to shout

it made me want to scream,

SHUT THE F*CK UP!

because i hate it when i find out

that the things i do want to make people pout

but the thing is

its all my fault.

i didnt know i was like this

moody self centered b*tch

its great to know it now

for im going to take a bow

this is the end of me

and i hope that […]

5/23/2012 0 comment

life sucks I cant take this pain no more

by lifesucksihateit 5/4/2012

written by lifesucksihateit

i have been betrayed by my so called friends am mad at the world and lost all hope for trust and this is developed into despair and depression. Everyday is painful I am reminded of how much this hurts every time I wake up in the morning and I ask myself how come am not dead yet. when i contemplate suicide something happens and i end up postponing it. For example, I might get a random call or visit from a friend and I have to “act” like am ok but this kinda makes me post pone it till later when I am trying to […]

5/4/2012 0 comment

Suicide – Not a Cowardly Act

by SadWingsofDestiny 4/5/2012

written by SadWingsofDestiny

IÂ have been depressd/anxious for 30 years but I have managed to find some happiness during that time too.Â I will never be “normal”. I know that sucidal thoughts have many causes, mentall illness, faulty thinking,Â life experiences or endogenous/ exogenousÂ depression.

But many times people commit sucide because sometimes the pain of life is way too much to handle. Why suffer everydayâ€¦why die a slow death everyday? We all die so why not decide for yourself when the right time is? My only cavaet is to really think about the ramifications especially if you are young. Things can change in an instant.

*Please try everything posible to live and strive […]

4/5/2012 5 comments

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