I think my life isn’t half bad. In fact others tell me “what do you have to be sad about?.. you have it so good”. Well,  you see I actually feel invisible. I don’t feel  like a matter or have a purpose on this earth. I am 22.. I thought when you become older you stop feeling this way because of hormones. But these past few months I haven’t felt well. So far I don’t eat very much lately, I’ve been wanting to change how I look, I’ve been drinking more than I used to. And I would commit suicide only if I wasn’t hurting […]
Tag:
Afraid Of Death
Today, I explained my non-intervention policy to one of the people I tentatively (for lack of a better term) call a friend. (Being more concerned with what they perceive as my interests than the interests themselves, I don’t think they can be termed “allies” precisely. So I use the word “friend” rather loosely, although I suppose it would be more accurate to say “one of those people I hang about constantly whom I happen to know”.) I interfere (interact, I suppose) with people as little as possible and would appreciate if they showed the same consideration to me.
She confronted me with the question: What if […]
My family hates me and I hate them.
I have no job.
I have 1 friend, but I am rapidly bringing her down to my level.
My purpose in life just got smashed. I realized it’s a lie and I’ve wasted my entire life on it.
I am not afraid of death. Death is the only thought that comforts me.
If there is a god, I want to meet it so I can kick its ass.
I am in physical pain 24hours/day from an accident.
My insurance runs out soon and I won’t get any more physical therapy or pain meds.
I am getting evicted […]
I have been struggling with this for a long, long time. Suicide, the word that is there all the time, something I can’t get out of my mind. I know exactly who I am, and what I am going to be if I don’t end this. I’m just an ignorant, ugly, fat, useless waste of air, and that’s exactly what I am going to be for the rest of my life if I dont stop it right now.
I’ve tried everything: I’ve tried to be positive, I’ve tried religion, I’ve tried to have friends, to talk with my family. Nothing works, it seems like I’m some […]
I’m so sick and tired of living at home. Can’t I go to college yet? I mean, a lot of people look at me and go, You have nothing to complain about. Your parents are happily married, You don’t have any siblings to drive you crazy. Your grades are above average, and you’re a talented girl.
As far as that BS goes, YOU live with my parents for years by yourself. I have a verbally agressive dad that has one of the most closed up minds that I’ve ever seen. I have a mom who is depressed for no fucking reason. As far as the rest […]
I am ready to do it. I am not afraid of death. The only thing stopping me is how much it would hurt my parents.
But it’s my life. It’s my decision.
I live in a world that is not real. I feel like I don’t belong in this world. I was forced to pursue a career that I wasn’t interested in. I talk five sentences with my parents on a maximum. Â They have never once asked me how my day went. I never tell them. I don’t tell them about all the nights I sit alone and cry my eyes out into the pillow. I don’t tell them about the bad days I have, or the good ones either. My joys and my sorrows are entirely my own. I love learning about the Universe, but the […]
I’m so sick of pretending of faking smiles crying myself to sleep and im done being alone. sick of living scared of dying. im not afraid of Death im afraid that he will make it painful.
im only 11 and ive already had alot of suiside thoughts i feel useless to the world what the point of this everyone judges me and picks on me. resently my best friends mom died of colen cancer (RIP cythea curro) that brought me down i know if i comite suiside my bff will turn to it 2. im afraid of death, i never try and cut myself. my older brother is the worst, he tells me ill die a vergin he tells me ,”go to hell” “no one cares 4 u” he doesnt help. and just about a month ago my very 1st boyfriend […]
Im not afraid of death because I know exactly whats going to happen. It will be just like before I was born.. i will no longer exist, i will no longer have to wake up only to struggle to get out of bed and face another day just like the last. The only think that seems to keep me going is music.. it gives me some drive, but it wont be enough in the long haul. In school, college and in life in general I have always did my best to do ”as little as possible”… anything that has ever mattered in my life I […]
So I forgot to close out this website before letting my mom borrow my computer. I don’t want to talk to her about it. Why? Because there is no communicating with her. I’ve tried before. -chuckles- You know what she said? “If you do it don’t do it here”. Like that is going to make me open up to her. I wont say I HATE my mother, cause I don’t except when I’m mad lol but I do dislike her ALOT. I just don’t understand why people are so blind. I’m not perfect. There I said it. But I am trying to work on myself […]
I never ever have been afraid of death but when I think about me killing myself I get scared of the pain. I don’t want to go through ANY pain… And I don’t want my mom to drop outta school cuz of it. So I might just snap one day and end up running away.
Last night i attempted to kill my self  again. I’ve been so sad lately and im lonely and want to die. so i took a bunch of one of my meds then a handful of this a handful of that . after telling my brother and mom i threw up and now i just feel tired. Something hit me last night , i don’t want to die like this. I don’t want to die  because im afraid of why may come my way.  When i die i want to be happy , don’t let depression get the best of you.
I’ve thought about committing suicide for the past year of my life. I’ve thought about cutting my wrists but have decided that would be too bloody and painful. I’ve thought about jumping in front of a Semi, but then I couldn’t do it because of the compassion I felt for the poor sorry bastard driving the truck. I’ve thought about shooting myself, but the only guns in the house belong to my dad, and I sure as hell am not dying by embedding one of his bullets in my brain; he got me here in the first place, and I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he has succeeded in killing me […]
First I want to thank everyone for their replies to my 3 prior posts. Thank your for your time and concern, we are all loving, worthy beings who are joined by our pain and plight to regain our joy! This is part of a conversation I had with a dear friend of mine, who was also suicidal. I was explaining to him about an interview I had recently with an elderly gentleman who had been suicidal in his 50s. This is an excerpt of the conversation, but it makes so much sense, and it is true for all of us. The first part is just […]