The thoughts came on fast. This was about 10 minutes ago. They have never been this strong in my life. Usually I don’t break down and cry when I have suicidal thoughts but this time I did. I just started thinking about my childhood and playing on the beach with my mom and watching my dad sit around in the ocean. I remembered the small irrelevant things like the one time I fainted when my mom was brushing my teeth. Then I pictured myself now. Actually considering dying. It seems so surreal. Thinking about never being able to touch water again. Never being able to […]
Tag:
alive
We, people who lack strength, keep doing the same things repeatedly. We’ve forgotten the feeling of being alive. We can’t tell if we are living or dead. Do you feel that you are “alive†now? At this stage, only a thin line separates living and dead.Therefore the sayings, “life is valuable, you should not commit suicideâ€, “if you stay alive, everything will have a turning pointâ€, “your friends and relatives will feel sad for your death, so you have to stay alive†can all be put aside; these are not convincing anymore. The convincing words which can stop one from committing suicide vanish; the signal […]
Ugh, why couldn’t I just die properly Saturday? Seriously, I attempt to overdose on pills and wake up on a hospital bed under suicide watch, this fucking blows. I don’t want to be here, I want to be dead. I might as well be dead, it’s not like I’ve got anything or anyone to live for. No family, no friends, no dreams, nothing.
Isn’t that pathetic? Being a 16 year old lonely high school dropout living off a trust fund, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, I guess it’s almost like I’m my worst enemy. Oh well, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
I’m sick and tired of being alive. Give me a reason not to die. And please, that reason can’t be “Things get better” etc. All of that is bullshit. I don’t believe in that.
I’ve been said things like “You can’t love others if you can’t even love yourself”. I have just a few friends, but none of them understands how I feel. Everyone but one person. She’s like my last reason to be alive. She has suffered a lot more than me, but she takes the time to listen to my problems. One day I know I will lose her. One day I know […]
“tomorrow could be the best day of your life” and i think thats what has kept/keeps me going. the unknown of tomorrow keeps me hopeful. because you truly dont know the outcome unless youre alive and breathing right?
“Scythe”
Arise affinity.
Chosen Lords, where art thou, [in space and time].
Navigate through this hell.
The torch that beholds, humanity’s alpha line.
The seal. Black.
Death Valley squadron, the wild card. Save me.
Void of me like void of life.
Monstrous atrocity. All I’ve ever known is global cold existence.
Scythed. And poison.
Rising cold Aquarius. From death, unto life.
Our fate.
My fate, in black infinity.
Intolerable iron satan of hell, in second master molding.
The second final, in counting.
//
Master of light. Monster of hell.
Duality of the scale, in my blood.
Forever etch, in pilgrimage.
Lucifer. Bringer of light. Satan’s salvation.
Duality, the […]
I’m still here, you all ever wake up and you feel ok for that one millisecond and then your brain fires up and you just utter the words I’m alive. I may as well tell a little story when I naively tried to overdose on alcohol and pills.
Drug overdose is a very wide spectrum and there is a very good chance that you will not die from them and only cause yourself more pain. I tried drug overdose mixed with a lot of alcohol and my friend walked in on me. I didn’t do a damn thing but humiliate and feel guilt when I had […]
She cries because she knows I have plans to end it, but I can’t bring myself to tell her she is the reason I’m still alive and the reason I’m so close to dying. She doesn’t want me to die…but the mindset is in place and I don’t know what to do.
so I guess that many of you found some meaning to stay alive.
I don’t know what else to say. Keep saving people. It’s truly a good project.
I’m not too well in describing, words, reasons… I just wish u all the best. Goodbye
nothing good comes from you
here is something u can do
take a rope and tie a not
leave ur body cold and blood running hot
let it out and let it pour
see it all over the floor
dont wake up and just stay down
if ur still alive uâ€ll make me frown
iâ€ll send a bullet through ur head
and make sure ur forever dead
nobody wants you and nobody cares
your heart deserves the hate it bares
goodbye you piece of shit
you’ll be in hell in a bit
My name is Tara Paige, and I live in Whitestown, Indiana. I attend Lebanon Senior High School; newly remodeled, multi-million dollar school.
My first year at this school was last year, my junior year. I LOVED it there! So many opportunities, so many nice people, teachers always wanting to help you with anything and everything! But, it didn’t last long. Everything I thought, was proven wrong to me second semester.
First semester was amazing! I made so many new friends, started crushing on a cute boy, had great grades, staying busy and just enjoying time with my new amazing friends.
Second semester came around and my life changed […]
I cant remember a time when i wasn’t depressed, how long has it been for you? i think im going on about 3 years years now….but then again ive only been alive for 16
So many things have changed. My best friend/cousin is dead. My relationship is deteriorating. Every night it’s the same. I think of her and how I wish she was still alive and how I want to be dead. It should have been me instead of her. Everything right now is such a mess. School. Friends. My relationship. I don’t eat right. All I have been thinking about is death. It’s been a year now with these thoughts. Maybe more time. My daydreams are about suicide, how I’d do it and when..
At 12 when I did my first depression, I really wanted to die so badly. Then I found that what I really wanted in life was love. Everything I ever did what for that goal and it’s the only thing that makes me happy. The only thing that could keep me alive, the only thing that would make my life worth living. So yea, I needed to be loved and didn’t try to kill myself, it was some kind of a second chance I thought. Second chance… for what? to feel even more miserable, hurt and dead inside? The only thing that keeps me alive […]
I hate life. What’s the point in living when you have nothing? I always have this weight on my chest and its so hard to breathe. I just want to scream fuck everything. I don’t want people to tell me it gets better, it doesn’t. I hate when people say they know how I feel. You don’t know a damn thing about me. I don’t show how I feel. And it’s going to stay that way.
Every night I fall asleep thinking of what it is I wish I could have the most, at one point in time I wanted to be happy. And then I found happiness, I found myself falling in love with someone so completely imperfect. I knew that what it was that was between him and I wasn’t a reality because at the end of the day he fell asleep next to my sister, except on the many occasions that he fell asleep on the couch with me beside him. But in the end he was beside her, she got to call him “my boyfriend” I got to […]
befor the days were i bent down to pick up pecis of my sole my eyes were bright my hear was long and i didunt cear as long as the sun shone high in the sky but the das are gone were i have time tolook at the sky in a world were i hafe to pay for “the cost of liveing” if you look at it its a joke the cost of being alive… im sorry but what the fuck
Seriously. There are probably people crying as hard as me right now, because they are sick and they’re going to die and they want to stay alive and healthy. And im here crying because I’m forced to be alive and I wanna die. I could say its unfair but I stopped hoping things to get fair in life anyway! Â I just can’t stand it anymore.
The thing that make me doubt the most about killing myself… it’s that I fear I would not really get this relief feeling that I’m searching for. You know, you’re in pain, and you just don’t want to feel it anymore… but I think that when you’re dead, you don’t even realize that the pain is gone, ’cause you know, you’re not alive to feel it. If I could be guaranteed that there is something after death. That there’s another world where you can enjoy not to be alive anymore… i would be gone for a while now.
We all seem to share one thing… The question, why do we want to die, why are we alive, why do we feel this way? I can only speak for myself we are all very different. I just turned 18 and have a world of opportunity. I’m considered pretty and envied by others and I’m off to a great school for fashion merchandising, my passion, at the end of August. I have best friends and a boyfriend. It all sounds perfect right? Wrong. I constantly wake up wondering why I woke up. Sometimes I lay and stare at the ceiling and feel like a hole […]