Just wish he would grow tired of bullying me. I just want him to leave me alone. He seems to think I deserve this. I am so, so, so low. He is driving me towards committing suicide.
Tag:
alone
im getting on a train today
the bells are ringing, the choir sings
i cant hear through the deafing noise
im no longer a child, i dont need these toys
they say to leave the past behind
the bells are ringing i step in time
whos in the lead? are we running circles
isnt that how it always feels
leave your troubles, the scar it heals
im departing on a train today
i dont know where im going but i cant stay
the doors they close
suffocation, is it a trap?
i leave everything ive ever know
but ive always roam, just me alone
what is it im leaving behind?
better yet what will come in time?
im leaving on a train […]
I have experienced frequent depression since I was about 13. At 22, I still can hardly see why being alive is worth the effort. I’m just so tired of trying, so tired of other people, so tired of this atrocious, toxic society. It’s so hard to be an empath in a world of people who couldn’t even dream of thinking of anyone but themselves. I feel so trapped and alone, even though there are such amazing people in my life. My boyfriend and I moved back to our hometown about a year ago, and everything just seems to be going downhill now. His kind but […]
I have no one in my life. My best friend, doesn’t make me feel like he gives a shit about me. He doesn’t even talk to me some days, but he talks to other people. It hurts a lot. My family isn’t here for me, they’re all to busy with themselves. My other friends don’t care about anyone other then themselves or their boyfriends/girlfriends. I want someone to come over and sit in my room with me and watch a movie and we can just talk about everything. How I feel, how they feel, what’s going on with our families just anything and everything. Just […]
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floooooor
Beaten why for (why for)
Can’t take much more
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
One – Nothing wrong with me
Two – Nothing wrong with me
Three – Nothing wrong with me
Four – Nothing wrong with me
One – Something’s got to give
Two – Something’s got to give
Three – Something’s got to give
Now
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the flooooor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the flooooor
Now!
Push me again
This is the end
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
One […]
I hear voices in my head
I believe fairies dwell in flower beds
The night is a mystery and not my friend
For I see things at every corner and end
I cry for four days a week
Because of blame and sorrow my heart can’t keep
My dreams, like everyone else, have gone
Because they too are tired to go on
I don’t believe I belong
Life has been singing that to me like a song
I am a poet, but to everyone my poems appear
To be of sadness, yearn, insecurity, and fear
There’s a new voice in my head
That says I’d rather be better off as dead
But since I’m still present
And death may seem […]
I haven’t been around here lately… I haven’t had much to say… Not sure what to say.
Life is complicated as fuck! Bad things seem to happen but my mind won’t hold on to them like they use to. Little things don’t seem to bother me. Good things are happening, but it also feels like a big void. It’s almost as if I had some big plans but suddenly I can’t remember what they were. And I feel the uncertainty of not knowing if I should care or not. I’ve been thinking about killing myself lately, but not out of sadness…almost as if my mind […]
Another conversation passes another friend I’ve pretended with. life’s a game I don’t wanna play anymore. But I have to, if not for myself than for my friends….i cant be so selfish to them. To Tammy Lee
Anyone out there knows if theres a place where you could talk a little more freely about suicide than on SP? I want to be able to talk with serious people on a serious forum about suicide. I’ve been thinking about killing myself for eight years now. I tried once and failed. I dont want to make the same mistake again. If i try it again i dont want to die alone. I had depresion/anxiety/panic attacks frequently for most part of my life. I dont think its gonna get any better. I am alone. I dont have any friends. Why keep trying you know?
I am alone. I hate the feeling
I’m not sick. I don’t have relationship/family issues. I’m not living in poverty. I’m not anyone’s subject of ridicule. I don’t have any important responsibilities (pets, children). Things are going well for me. I moved into a fantastic apartment last week after staying with my mum for 5 months (before that I was living with my girlfriend, but it didn’t work out). My job is mind numbing but pays really well, and the atmosphere is very relaxed. I should be studying right now (because I want a better job) but whenever I sit down to, I don’t.
I have lots of ideas for things I want […]
There is a monster in my mind
He comes out when I’m alone
He tells me that happiness is a lie
And death’s a better home
He shows me all the hurt
I put my family through
Every mistake I made
He says “Its all on you”
He has never spoke a lie
He tells me how it is
He says that if I would die
I would no longer be his
The monster in my mind
Controls my every […]
i need so much help.. im basically completely alone in life, i have no friends i suffer from severe depression and basically my only and best friend was my father. it kills me to say that he passed away and now im at a loss of what to do i love him so much..
i feel so alone.everything i do feels wrong the only thing that helps is to sleep and drink.to be honest i just want to sleep,drink,and have sex.i should be dead i deserve to be dead but only the good die young,i guess ill be loving forever.please help
Highly unlikely…… I know. But I am getting creative at this point. I have heard their teeth are so sharp you only feel pressure and I would hope adrenaline would take care of the rest. I could swim alone at the beach at night and temp fate lol. Shark week is coming up afterall.
Not depressed coz somebody died. He was old, never knew him well, he was my paternal uncle, he barely cared for his own kids let alone me.
I braved my social anxiety to attend the funeral. I had an idea what it would be like, and I’m not sorry I went. I was dreading being asked what I do etc. That didn’t happen.
No, I was a part of something, accepted and my presence unconditionally valued as I am a family member and this branch of my family are very keen on family.
It was a nice short service at the crematorium, and there was no God stuff, […]
Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend […]
feeling like shit today. stayed homd alone all day and watched porn three times… feeling so disguisted with myself. All i want is to stop being so damn lonely… not even about just sex (although that would be nice) but just someone who loves me. blech 🙁
Long ago there was a little boy (he was six years old at the time)who played all alone by himself everyday.the little boy never had any friends.the reason for this was that his mother kept having to move them from place to place for new jobs.they werent stable.because of this the boy fell behind in school and felt stupider than the rest of the kids in his grade.he also didnt know what the new trends were and what was ”cool” to the other kids.the boy tried so very very hard to fit in.he just couldnt do it.he tried and tried and tried but no luck. […]
Most people in life have many people who would miss them… I have 1.
My entire life reads like a greek tragedy. First my mother didn’t want me and gave me health problems in an attempt to abort, then my siblings abused me physically (and sexually in one case), Then as I grew older the abuse got worse when we moved by my grandfather. My dad was never really around, and my family didn’t want, need, or had any wish to even see me… my mother would leave me places in the hopes I’d get taken and only my sister seemed to care (she was much […]