I’m sick and tired of being alive. Give me a reason not to die. And please, that reason can’t be “Things get better” etc. All of that is bullshit. I don’t believe in that.
I’ve been said things like “You can’t love others if you can’t even love yourself”. I have just a few friends, but none of them understands how I feel. Everyone but one person. She’s like my last reason to be alive. She has suffered a lot more than me, but she takes the time to listen to my problems. One day I know I will lose her. One day I know […]
Tag:
alone
just die. please. end this. there’s a train coming right towards me and i don’t even move. what’s wrong with me?! have i no shame? have i no honor? have i no GOD? indeed, i’m a disgrace to my family of achievers. yes, i’m a man who wastes his days away playing swtor and masturbates everyday. i want to change. but i can’t. but i wanted to. i think i don’t want to. every time i look at the mirror, all i see is the embodiment of failure.
i know my girlfriend is sick of me being negative. why shouldn’t she? there are millions of positive, […]
Surrounded by all the unknown
it seems that i am alone
As in the dark
noone speaks to me
And I
speak to noone
Yet no pain, no longing
no directions, no going
Only myself without itself
A self with no self
I want to help others more.
Please email me at rochellecate@yahoo.com if you ever feel depressed or lonely.
I promise, I will be here for you. I’ll help you get through whatever you’re going through.
You are NOT alone. I’ll listen to you. I’ll be your friend. Please let me help you.
That’s all I have, myself. In my experience, no body truly cares. I try to reach my hands over the counter, as if I’m the size of an ant, standing as tall as I can, though never do I reach. The only people who have ever cared still are unproven, unless they want something from it. I need help, however whenever I search for it I’m shunned away. Â The only person that wants to help me -isn’t my bestfriend, or my mother- it’s a stranger, wanting $125 a half an hour, and that’s the saddest thing of all.. Once I’m gone they’ll never understand, I […]
were are we but we were always drifting drifting cold and barren as the deepest ocean trench  alone and we all sink we sink so deep so soft and weak alone to the bottom scraping mud and sifting endlessly we were all born alone and cold and the warmest truth is that we will always die alone and cold. We are but drifting wood born to sink to the bottom. Water
Today, once everyone leaves me alone, I think I’ll cut. Nobody ever took away my knife when they found out about my depression.
I though I would stop cutting, but I really feel very guilty for some reason. I feel like I smother her. If I didn’t dive in too deep with her, if I didn’t fall so deeply into love with her, maybe she would still care for me. It’s my fault.
what i just found out.. last night that ..
well like almost a month ago i got rapped.. by my used to be step dad. and then my neightbor was talking to my mom about it last night .
that he could have killed me..
if he didnt want anyone to find out about it.. it breaks my heart. for my mo to live in so much pain alone.. she still cant handle me getting rapped and then if he killed me ?.. my mom will be just left here alone. with no one helping her and her having nothing to do any more. my […]
Edit: Wow… No comments, and my post is buried on page 3 (currently). It’s time for death I believe.
Well, seems I cannot escape suicidal feelings. I was sure I’d go through with killing myself the last time I was here… but… I hung-on. Things got better. Now everything is downhill again. (Or uphill, depending on your view.)
I was jobless, and felt unloved. I met some people, re-connected with old friends. It seemed like things were improving. As usual, it was an illusion. I always end-up back where I started. Having nothing, and being alone.
My dog is getting put down next week. He’s old, and he’s […]
I keep moving forward toward it. I’m trying to shake the guilt. Â Living all these years for others it’s time I get to choose for myself. Â Tomorrow I make a firm plan for method, which dictates a timeline. Â I have some cases I have to wrap up at work. Â I’ve told a lot of my clients they need to move on and find someone else to help them but there are about three cases that are almost done and I don’t want to screw them overby not finishing. Â But I think I can wrap that up in two weeks, three tops.
but I came here because […]
I’ve been here before and here I am again. It’s been 3 years I’ve started voicing my desire to die. Three years of pure hell. Everyone says it’s going to get better and I so wish it would. But it’s not. It just gets worse and worse and I’m more alone than ever.
I can’t even kill myself properly. I’ve overdosed on pills about 15 times. I can’t go through with cutting my carotid or partial suspension. I’m a fucking failure even in my desire to die. I’ve been kept as an in patient in a psychiatric institution twice. I’ve seen countless psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors.
They […]
Lonely ..Lonely.. Lonely
This day makes me feel even more alone.
OHHHH I hate love … and I hate not being in LOVE…
should I buy myself some flowers? sure it’s pathetic, but who says I can’y buy myself flowers?
My friends.. Before.. They were all I had and what made me stay.
But they saw how people began to hate me.. And decided they didn’t want to be seen with me.. So they all left.
Now I’m here, still depressed.
All alone.
Friendless.
Feeling so useless to the world.
I mean, why live anymore??
No reason anymore.
Friday night
Comes and goes
I’m laying here
All alone
Misery visits
As well as my haunting past
Hoping this pain doesn’t last.
A voice
Says
“Darling, you are
Nothing anymore.”
And I believe the words it speaks.
Hands are sweaty
Body is weak.
I grab a chair
and my noose
Hanging it high
Letting my demons loose.
Now I’m gone.
Ever since I was nine years old, I remember always thinking that my father was going to leave me. He always used to tell me that he was going to send me to live with my grandmother just to make me upset. He used to leave me alone in public, in the metro, in the mall, on the street.
My mother did that too. She used to leave me alone in the house for hours at a time when I was three. My neighbors had to call social services, and I was almost taken away. Sometimes I wish I was.
My father still does this to me, […]
Hi.
I started writing down my feelings in  journal but I thought it would be nice to share with people finally.
I don’t know it all started but what I know is that I’m messed up. My family, my body, my mind, and my emotions. I’m not going to say I’m in this emotionless trance.
I still have friends but I hid my true feelings. It’s all starts with my family and how my mother is this fucked up parent. You can basically say I live by myself , but my dads the only one who supports me. He has to work all the time and my mom […]
In december of 2012 i tried to overdose myself. it obviously didn’t work because I’m typing this now. I’ve had some really serious problems with my mom but i mean most teenage girls do too… we haven’t fought in so long, but now here it is happening again the same way it used too, and here i am again just feeling more and more alone. I guess this is me just reaching out for help before i get completely hopeless. comment if you would like too.
I served in the Civil Air Patrol. And I was proud of it. Around December, my life dried up. I was around an Airman then. I was angry with myself. I was a total slacker, and was so lazy it infuriated me. I was a disgrace to my squadron, who was often considered the best in the state. The  Disappointment in my own actions made me angry. I was alone. I have been since then. I. am. Dying on the inside. My stress limit has officially been destroyed. Help. Me.
I’m fairly new here and I’ve read some of your stories and it takes courage to write down your personal stories on this site. Well all through my life, I have felt this feeling of being alone. I talk around, joke and I enjoy meeting new people but even then, I still feel alone. I have a few great friends that I enjoy very much but I have never told them how I really felt inside. And to make matters worse, I’m my worst critic and my worst enemy. I see the small minor imperfections that put down and I really don’t want to live […]