I’m fairly new here and I’ve read some of your stories and it takes courage to write down your personal stories on this site. Well all through my life, I have felt this feeling of being alone. I talk around, joke and I enjoy meeting new people but even then, I still feel alone. I have a few great friends that I enjoy very much but I have never told them how I really felt inside. And to make matters worse, I’m my worst critic and my worst enemy. I see the small minor imperfections that put down and I really don’t want to live and think this way. I well say that even though I felt the world is against me, I have never hurt my self but the thought of being dead still lingers around. I want to first love myself for who I’am before I love somebody else and right now, its just so hard. The idea of feeling like I’m alone, feeling like I’m the ugliest person and wishing I was dead just makes every day like hell. All I want is to live life to the fullest and enjoy it but right now, I feel like I’m a foggy forest unable to find my way out…
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I feel for you Still-Alive. I am still here for now as well. Felling alone os not cool at all. If you want to take to me, for now I am here. I blame myself for a lot that has happened to me and others. I may bee too hard on myself or I may not. That is something I am trying to figure out and understand as well.
Thanks and yeah its an undesirable feeling inside of wanting to change and have a better outlook at life but being unable to do so makes it very hard.
So very true. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
But I do believe there is a way we can both live a better life, we just have to be determined to find it. Thanks for listening, Eviloni22 (kick ass name btw) you’re a real pal 🙂
I know that feeling, Still-Alive. I wake up everyday just to look at myself in the mirror and cry. To go to school and sit with other people, but still feel alone. Because in a way, I am alone. There seems to be no other people at school as sad as I am.
-truth
Perhaps you are right. I just need to find it soon at this point. I am certainly determined to find it or accept it just not going to happen at this point. I don’t think determination is want you lack. You seem ambitious. Can you answer me with some ways you have gone about enduring or attempting to find a better life? And thanks for the comment about my name. Something I latched onto as a kid for meaning and expression and have used ever since.
Certainly, what I end up doing is writing down some reachable goals like, today I’m going to talk to a new person just minor things that like. I have recently decided to get more involved with my community something I didn’t really see myself doing. Although I sometimes feel down and lost a part of me still believes that I have a purpose and reason for being here. Another thing is being able to talk about it, again I have never really told my friends of how I felt, but being able to talk about on this site and just knowing there are people out there that are going through the same thing and the support and community motivates me even more to change and focus more on my goals.
I want to make a lasting impressions and for me to do that, I have to ignore all negative comments and try to find that inner peace and find that ideal life style. I know I still have long ways of finding that ‘ideal’ life, but I know I will find it soon and I know you will too 🙂
I feel you Neon, I would hate going to school and I would not talk as much as a kid because I didn’t want people looking at me because I truly believed that I was ugly. I still have trouble and think im not good looking enough but little by little I’m trying not to worry about the imperfections and instead praise my accomplishments.
Again Neon, Im here if you need someone to talk to 🙂
Thank you so much for taking time to answer that Still-Alive.