So here is my story. About a year ago,, I was diagnosed as being cancer free and returned to work. Ever since this has happened, my life has been very difficult when it comes to work. At work, Â my supervisor has been giving me a hard time about a lot of things. Â My supervisor put me on two final warnings. Â Then I work through three months of worry, high levels of anxiety, and feeling suicidal for days, weeks on end. Last week, after I got out of being on the warning for these two things by meeting goal for three months, they put me […]
Ok so it has been really hard for me to admit this but I’m a bad person! I do not care about anyone or anything?! I’m always and only worried about me! Its like I know im this evil person but I don’t do anything! I fear everything! I fear driving and dying I fear people not liking me when why should they I’m a fuck up and it’s like I know im a fuck up but I don’t do anything , I’ve been on this site before and read others posts but im so concerned with myself that I can’t even care and isn’t […]
the past few days have just been the worst I am seriously in so much emotional and mental pain. I havent ever felt more empty or hopeless than I do now and sometimes I just wanna say fuck it and grab my fucken gun and just try to end it and hope that i’ll be lucky enough to die. I swear it feels like a shitload of misery and sadness and hopelessness just fell out of the sky and landed right on me. I feel so alone right now so empty i’m sitting here just bawling me eyes out and I can’t stop I just […]
I just miss and crave the not so occasional drinks that would lead to reckless behavior because at this moment when I want to feel something I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. I’m not suicidal but I know that what I am feeling leads up to it. And no one can know. Everyone had their life together again but me. I feel so alone. I literally don’t feel like I belong in my own skin. I don’t like anything that I am right now or have become these past few months.
what would it look like if I committed suicide tonight. I’m not even sure how I would do it. I don’t have a gun, which is the safe bet. That doesn’t leave a lot of choices – drugs, cutting, not sure what else. and to complicate matters, I have a dog. What would she think? What would she do? I’m not expected to be anywhere until about 9 AM on Tuesday (it’s 8:34 PM on Saturday night) so she would be alone for a long time. How long would it take for people to search for me? […]
I’m not here,
I’m not there.
You can’t find me anywhere.
I have left,
I have gone.
Cause everyday
made my life wrong.
What people do,
what people say.
†I hate uâ€,
†Go away.â€
I tried to keep calm,
and have no fear.
But it got too much,
so i disappeared.
I took a rope,
and made a bow.
Put it around my neck,
and just let go.
For a second there was pain,
but soon there was no more.
As the life in me left,
my body went limp and poor.
Nobody knows,
nobody cares.
I’m transparent,
as thin as air.
People’s […]
I’m going crazy.
I’m going insane.
All my thoughts
inside my brain.
i can’t take it.
Make them go away.
I am so confused.
Don’t know what to say.
I really need someone.
Anyone will do.
Someone i can vent with.
Someone I can talk to.
I’m so young.
Why is it I can feel like this?
All these emotions,
putting me into an endless abyss.
So many tears
I often cry.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t even know why.
I’m garbage.
I’m shit.
i am done.
This is it.
Hi Guys,
Sorry for the late notice… But I am disconnecting from the world to go Dog Sledding. 😀 So I will NOT be post today or tomorrow. I will post Sunday though. Have a good weekend!!! And don’t worry about me! 😀
(Back from the trash) [For entertainment] …
Pokémon incarnation.
Forsaken one.
Reach into hell, a trusting hand.
Let us travel slow, into the deep of void.
Oh, how fun; perhaps can it be.
A Muk, trying to become a champion.
Funk it. Bust the mission. It’s the righteous way.
Muk has freaking arms and hands, he can breakdance, all day.
At night sitting by the fire, what can we solemnly do.
Muk- I don’t mind. As long as I can breathe, be warm, and heal.
Solemnly like a granite pillar. Back through the void, of saint-hell goodness.
(Caterpie>Venemoth. Venonat>Butterfree…..)
Purple Venemoth, the token one.
I wish I […]
I am depressed  and want to die  I have tried Prozac and Lexapro  i am planning to die by Oxycontin overdose i took oxy before not in overdose and I havent  been active on the website for a while and my suicide attempt with sleeping pills failed
I want to ask your opinion about seeking / talking to a professional. I never go to one. My mother asks me to go to a psychologist / psychiatrist. But I am afraid to pour out my deepest heart to a complete stranger. I feel embarrassed. I am also afraid that he/she will declare me as just an attention seeker. (Am I? I don’t know the answer. I don’t think I am but if a professional says so, who am I to counteract) It has happened before. I opened myself to some people in authority, and they ridiculed me and brushed me off as attention […]
Hi Guys,
It’s 8:30 here and I am already exhausted… I haven’t been getting much sleep these past few nights… Maybe 4-5 hours at the most? Maybe less? All I know is I have been going to bed around 1-2 am and waking up at 5-6:30 am… So not much sleep there… But ya know I don’t really care… Well I guess I do because I feel lonely those 3-4 extra hours and I don’t know what to do with myself…. I start overthinking things. I start wondering, questioning, questioning my very own existence. Why am I here for? What am I here for? What is […]
1) I’m not drowning in debt.
2) I have a job; I don’t mooch off others.
3) I have personal freedom due to the fact that I’m single.
4) I graduated from college. I plan on pursuing graduate school in the future.
5) I’m intelligent.
6) I’m experienced when it comes to the negative things in life, i.e., I’m not superficial. I don’t have to rely upon trivial advice and/or criticism from less experienced individuals.
7) I’m a gentleman with respect to the opposite sex, even if it never pays off. In other words, I’m not a loser douchebag.
8) Difficult books.
9) The ability to write.
10) Coffee without sugar.
Hi, I just want to rant here. I am 22 and already tired of life. I have been without friends for a long time. Last time I have some friends in doing things is in my junior high school. I have been told to do everything by myself because that is what adults do: doing everything independently. I have a good role model for that: my mother. She is very reliable and can do everything by herself. I too want to be like her. I have been trying to live on without a friend since junior high. It’s scary and tiring to do everything alone. […]
Hi Guys,
It’s almost 10 here and I am exhausted… Needless to say I do enjoy writing, just not when I am extremely tired. So if this is short I do apologize for that.
Now how are you? (Don’t forget to comment! I do read them… Sometimes I forget to reply… Sorry, but I do read them!)
How am I? Physically: Sore, Tired, Exhausted Mentally: Broken
My physical state… Well I went skiing tonight (for ski club) fell down and my ski tip jabbed into my inner thigh soo that’s bruised. I had a few panic attacks and two breakdowns where I couldn’t take […]
How do other people manage? Â Going about the mindlessness of life. Â I guess they drink themselves silly and distract themselves with other meaningless things. Â Squabbles over stupid crap or finding something they can say serves as an interest or something they can tell an interviewer they do in their free time. Â Even though all of this essentially serves no purpose, at least they have other people and money and can put aside for a moment the general zombification of being a wage slave, the growing dissatisfaction with Western life.
I can feel the pain building inside me, even though they’ve tried to numb me to it. […]
Hi, this is my first post on SP. I don’t want to live in this hell anymore. I am a 40 year old man who has been battling addiction/depression for more than 20yr’s now. I have never been able to put more than 3 months of sobriety together in a row. My addiction/depression has progressed over the years and has left me with nothing but the cloths on my back and the contents of my backpack. I’ve been homeless for about 2 1/2 years now, some of it on the streets, the hospital or homeless shelters. I have made 5 suicide attempts in the last […]
I am an Army veteran. I joined up to help people. I ended up getting hurt in the process. I am now out of the army and have a wife and child. I can’t stop thinking about the tour I done or the people I lost. I know I’m supposed to move on and care about my wife and child first and foremost, but, I don’t. I love them, but, I can’t feel for them like I guess i should. My thoughts are always focused on tour and I am often angry. I get so angry I scream. Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m […]
I don’t know why I’m still here… but I’m still here.
Pills aren’t working. I still feel the same way as I did the night I did it. I am focusing on me and what I want… which I’m finding isn’t much. Maybe if I wanted more out of life I could find more.
So much self doubt that I will survive these suicidal urges. Even my therapist is really worried about me. I can’t get suicide off my mind. Lately some issues have resurfaced that have caused me to start burning again and have me thinking of suicide almost constantly. These issues include relationships(romantic),fear of abandonment/rejection,boundaries,self hatred,etc…I keep having dreams/nightmares about suicide and think about suicide all day long. I watch videos on how to do it,videos about people who have committed suicide,videos about people who have survived suicide attempts and listen to songs about suicide. Several times lately I have had the knife to my wrist ready […]