I do not know what i am doing with my life. I find life pointless and irrelevant. People are bitchy and I find no reason to live anymore.
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somebody stole my car radio, and now I just sit in silence.
I can’t do this anymore. I’ve cut myself 3 times today, and I keep throwing up. i am a sack of shit, bleeding and spewing garbage.
i want to disappear. I can’t live without my sister.
just going to sit on the beach by the lake.. be there around 4:30 AM so there isn’t much people there. Going to watch the sun come up one last time, have a drink or two, and my Remington will do the last of work. Goodbye, I’ve finally fucking grown the balls to do this, farewell and to all those struggling I wish you the best.
ps. Sorry for whoever finds my corpse. I know it’s gonna look pretty fucked up. I can’t help it.
how can I freaking die without struggling? That is the question! I been living in hell since my first memories. I been blitzed since 7 am but I know I am sobering up. I wanted to die since I was a child. How can I do it painlessly? Can someone help me please?
I hate when people tell me to be myself the judge me for it. I’m sorry i’m not perfect i’m sorry i have flaws, wtf am i suppose to do or be to be loved.
So here i am again, in my bed at 3 in the morning bawling my fucking eyes out with a bandage around my arm. What did I do to deserve any of this everyone I love just hurts me, nobody cares I’d be as well to just end it allnot like anyone’d give a fuck about my aabsence
On the 4th of July I relapsed. I’ve been struggling with self-harming for almost 6 years and drugs for almost 3. My mom’s been having problems with her boyfriend of 5 years and has been trying to get him out of our lives since he does drugs and only thinks about himself, so on the 4th that was the first time we’ve seen him in a month? So he was trying to act like everything was ok, but he drank a 6 pack and started acting stupid like always, so we went to go drop him off. They argued the whole way… was feeling really […]
I went down to the basement with a chair and some cloth (couldn’t find rope) I tied the cloth to a metal bar on the ceiling, and got on the chair. I then put the cloth around my neck and tied my hands together (wasn’t easy). Then after 2 minutes hesitating, I kicked the chair and hung there choking to death. I blacked out after 45 seconds. I woke up about 4.5 hours later with a really sore neck as headache. I saw the cloth had broken. So now, this time I got some rope, leaned how t make a noose, and am attempting again […]
i am inexplicably tired of everything in my life right now. i am tired of everyone depending on me to be there for them, shouting their problems to me, as if i am strong enough to carry all of their weight plus mine. i am tired of old memories coming back to haunt me and the fear i feel, i am tired of the realness of all of my feelings and thoughts. i am tired of keeping everything about my identity a secret to those who “love” me. i am tired of the overwhelming feelings of loneliness i feel at night as if no one […]
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc
Ive always fought but this time i am tired feel defeated and do not see how i can get past this. Every other time i could find my fight song… this time i just dont feel it in me.
what do i do when i have strong feelings for one person who i would say is smart and attractive but i only get talk to them about once a month and i won’t be able to see her for another year and a half and she is also my best friend however there is another girl who i like and can be smart when she chooses to and is quite ‘sexually’ attractive (there is other things i like about her)?? (both of them i am really close to and tell them anything and everything).
soooooooo confused and mixed up at this point.
I’ve never posted anything like this before. I have been battling depression for what seems like forever. Feels like I am dragging a boat anchor around everyday all day. I lost a good job, (my only means of financial support), sold my car to make my rent payments etc. Looks like i will be evicted in 2 weeks. Financially I am out if options. Not sure where to go or what to do. I’ve previously sought help and was prescribed med but can no longer afford the therapy. I feel like I am done. Exhausted and wrecked. […]
Things are just getting worse and worse, never better.
I’m sick of it and i am done.
So fucking done.
Golly, I sure am getting a craving for ******** now. It’s so weird
For months, I have been questioning the point of life. I have had anxiety for four years now. Acute anxiety that affects my every day life. Recently, I became extremely depressed to the point where never cleaned my room (was absolutely disgusting and unlivable) cried before going to class, had to leave multiple times because of breaking down in class. I hated walking anywhere, I hated taking care of myself, I stopped talking to friends. I started abusing drugs and alcohol. I chain smoked for months. I was so sad for no reason, and felt so worthless. Now, I have moved back home with my […]
I was watching tv had a couple of laughs then went back to my usual depression when i rembered that i am alone and always been. Cant even sleep cus my own thoughts betray and remind that i am alone and reminding to never dare to hope because it will only lead to more self hate and to more suicidal plans that i try to get rid off but i just cant because its the only way to “get out” of my life. I used to think i could escape into my dreams and forget about my reality at least for a while but that […]
Here i am back in a psych unit… I saw my therapist on Tuesday and i was too honest with her. So now i get to spend a week in here! I really hope it’s only a week because I’ve got to finish off my last preparations before June 11th. wish me luck people
I have a wife and a great mam and dad. I feel selfish for wanting to kill myself as I know it will finish these people. I have tried tablets before and ended up in hospital for a day or so! I was 23 at the time, unhappy with my friends, my job and being lonely! am no longer alone but lately (last two years) I’ve just hit rock bottom. I’ve made it to 32 years old and feel the world as nothing more to show or offer me! I feel emotionless writing these words as I’ve heard them in my head so many times […]
Turning 21 next month for some its a happy day that they look forward . for me its the day im going to leave this world if i get the strength. My drepression insomnia ,thoughts and loneliness really doesnt make me want to live to see 21. To me 21 means i get one less year on this earth if i were to stay on it . if the devil were real i’d sell my soul , no not for fame , money or material things i’d just to wish for one person who genuinely cares about me and tells me that i am somebody […]
what am i doing when people have moved on in life