So on the 24th of august 2014 i tried to commit suicide and wanted to so badly, and you know nearly succeeded but because of my brother i am still alive lol. We had an argument the day before and i stupidly realised after i had taken 35 out of the 50 i had laid out on my table. So of course because my brother is the only person in this world i actually care abt and know he cares abt me i stopped. And im a bit glad i did but not entirely because i still feel like complete and utter shit, i still […]
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im really unsure on what to say anymore. its not like i can go on facebook and talk about what i really want to talk about without alarming the people im close to. i used to be okay. i used to have the ability to turn the pain off at the snap of a finger. now its gone. the switch has been flipped and im unable to turn it off. all i can think about is death and ending the pain. why havent i done it already? i have nothing left to look forward to. the love of my life decided to move across the […]
I my name is G.O. and i have 15 years, i know dat maybe im too young, but my life has been shit since mmmm ever?My family is so f***** up, my dad is a bastard, since i was 4 he would always beat me up and my mum would only say”ohh it’s your fault, u know how is ur father” … 3 years ago my dad divorced from that slut of my mum”she was a gold digg, i could always see her wit some dude, my dad didn t care, he was whoring 2…”
Then at 12 i thinked that i could become happy witout […]
ANIMALS ARE PUT DOWN AND GIVEN PEACEFUL DEATHS WHEN THEY ARE IN PAIN AND HUMANS ARE FORCED TO SUFFER AND ARENT EVEN ALLOWED TO WILLINGLY AND PEACEFULLY END THEIR OWN LIFE IT MAKES ME FURIOUS JUST ANOTHER REASON I HATE THIS FUCKING WORLD AND HUMANITY. ….ANYWAYS I found online a pill called the peaceful pill and it is supposed to be the best way to go and i am so happy i found it it would give me great peace of mind knowing i could be able to use this method….does anybody know about this pill ,how i can get it (from what i have […]
Okay so i’m a teen and like a lot of people on here i have been suicidal lately. Now i’m not the best writter so sorry in advance but i just gotta get this off my chest. Like i said before im a teen and i just feel so depressed all the time. I have all of these issues wrong with me i have ADHD, depression, OCD, cold sweats, anxiety, trouble sleeping. really bad acne scars, suicidal, no friends or anyone to talk too and a lazy eye (which may seem kind of silly but im really self conscious about it). Iv tried suicide 2 […]
back again. and again. and again. why won’t it stop?? i wish it would stop coming back. that feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness. the utter lack of happiness. it never leaves, just goes to sleep for awhile. almost 3 years now. but now its back and im scared and alone and i cant get out of this hole. i dont want to be here anymore. please just make it stop. i want out. but i’m trapped in this fucking circle and i cant get away from it. sadness. depression. anger. death. the only things i can count on to never leave
Last monday marked the year mark since I tried to commit suicide, it’s been a very hard three years, somedays I just break down crying wondering how I ever got to this point in my life. I’ve been this way my whole life, I can remember suffering with depression as a child waiting to grow up thinking I would grow out of this. Thinking that the heavy sadness I felt was just a phase. It’s a sadness that has taken over my life and i wonder how different things would have been if only I had, had the courage to seek help when I was […]
i got depressed and binged drank for almost 5 years and ruined my relationships with everyone i know….iam 27 and my health feels messed up from all the drinking..i can only breath out of one nostril at a time now and i dont really want to be here anymore….my family just watched me crash and didnt do anything to try and stop me….or help me…and now i repeat the same thing over and over about how i ruined my life…and they say its annoying….
i had a mental breakdown and was put on meds……. and while i was on my 5 year bindge i made a […]
the past few years have been shitty for me. my best friend committed suicide july 30 2013 with a shotgun to the head in his bedroom. i was with him the night before and i feel that i couldve done something. as time passes i feel more and more compelled to do it myself. my life is a waste, i cant get further ahead in my career because the college education i have isnt enough which is the result of the economy and unfortunately i cannot make more than minimum wage. thats just the way it is. no one can get benefits anymore, and i […]
so update, i know its been a long time since my last one, but here it is :
my cuz kicked me out, after i told her that she is a **** faced lying *****, i went into a treatment facility twice in the span of three weeks, and lost my job because of it, along with a seperate issue, i am living with a friend now, but i cant find a job within walkin distance to help with the bills. and i relapsed tonight severly, i have been toying with the plan to drink a cup of lavender cleaner, i am deathly allergic to […]
I look through the posts here on sp and i dont see any familiar names: idk whether thats a good thing or bad… I hope everyone that I have talked to that I’ve shared stories with and bad times are doing ok. I’d like to htink they dont come here anymore because their lives got better, they moved on and now are at peace with themselves. I hope thats the case <3. Maybe one day i will reach the point where this sight is a very very distant memory.
today is my birthday i’m 19 years old ; i don’t have friends just on fb
i’m always thinking of killing my self , i tried a lot i hung my self , i cut my arm there was lot of blood in my clouthes ,my face was coverd by tears i was waiting the moment to die but i didn’t 🙁 i still alive
this is so bad
i wanna die i hate my self ,,,, i’m not sleeping , i don’t eat any thing and i don’t talk a lot ,,,,
i’m upset because i feel weak i can’t even kill my self :'(
I’ve been in therapy for a while, meds, doctors, everything for nearly a year now.
sometimes it’s easier, i don’t have the constant rush of suicidal thoughts and images, i know what my triggers are and how to stay away.
and i have friends and family that love and support me. good job. own place. own car. pretty decent life, on the outside.
they don’t know that this dark hole of suck is still eating at me inside. lately it’s been particularly bad, which is how i found this site. I’m tired, and even surrounded by people, extremely lonely. i feel hideously ugly and worthless, there are days […]
I Myself have been secretly depressed when alone its not because i dont like being around people its just that i dont feel like anyone needs me around. Today is the 30 and my friend who passed away almost a year ago’s birthday is tommorrow and i dont think that im going to be able to make it more than a couple more days. I cry once so every often hard and i tend to smoke alot of cigarettes when i do. Ive done everything seen a therapist, taken medication which led to an abuse problem and ive been cleen for the last 5 months […]
I can’t do this.. Whenever i find reason to be a little bit happy, someone destroy it.. They say something or do something that makes me feel not good enough.. I am not super model and i have normal body but my mother always tells me that I am fat and that i need to think what I eat.. But she is the one who buys me sweets and bad food but when i say that to her she just ignore me..Some guy at school tell me I am fat every day but i think I can ignore him because I don’t like him..And then […]
I just got done watching The Last SOng, which is a total tear jerking… im in love with this movie and the message it sends. My mom is a cancer patient, she has a type of Leukemia. Ive wasted so much time with her, ive been rude, not understanding, really selfish, and at any moment her health could turn for the worth and she could be gone from my life. SHe is the one person who I could literally not live without, she is MY rock she is my everything and i dont think ive told her enough just how much i really love her. […]
iam a 27 year old male…at the age of 21 my mother (who had divorced my father when i was 9) eloped with a man i had never met and left me with no where to go…i ended up roomating with a guy that was a drug addict and had a mental problem..i became greatly depressed as i was already suffering from social anxiety..and fell into heavy drinking..i would drink almost everyday…and i couldnt stop..this went on for years until i had a nervous break down at the age of 26 and i was put on to anti psychotic medications which i take every night…(alot […]
been a while since i been here. hope everyone is doing ok, or at least staying alive. I hate having suicidal thoughts…but here they are tonight, first time in a while. im quite lonley, and i need a better job, or my gf might leave me. I already only have one friend. crap, im scared of being homeless,in jail, or dead. maybe as a 29 year old black male without a good job (although very educated) i have just seen all the good i will ever see in life? maybe…i should just take the easy way out. i hope this mood passes quickly.
I’ve started counceling the other week, and the second session she asked me why i cannot keep eye contact with anyone.. I didn’t explain to her why .. once somebody told me it kills them to look into my eyes because all they see is pain.. She also began to tell me i have created a well put together mask and she cannot figure it out. I don’t believe i need to go to counceling, I have nothing to talk to her about. Am i suppose to sit there and tell her how constantly i plan out my suicide, how perfectly it is put […]
Somehow i always end up back here… back to my blog thats held my darkest secrets. I guess i find some comfort in that sp will always be here to listen. ive turned to tumblr recently which ive been venting on… but on here its different. every time i come on i feel like ive lost a battle; except this time i can truthfully say i dont want to die; i have so much more living to do… but i am so sad. i’m lonely and i hate feeling this way. I feel anxious all the time, i feel helpless, alone and i hate living […]