Last night i cried myself to sleep.I’ve been hurt so much.Being in middle school has not been the funnest of times because “my friends” bullied me so bad to the point i wanted to kill myself.I still remember that day and how i ran to a ditch and sat hoping somebody would kill me.But when that failed i did a pill overdose. That did nothing too. I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked god why he was doing this to me?! no reply. That same day i walked to my mom’s job as i do everyday.I walked onto her school campus,knowing in my heart […]
She’s upset,
Bad day,
Heads for the dresser drawer to drive the pain away,
Nothing good can come of this,
She opens it, there’s nothing,
There is only leftover tears,
Mum and Dad have no right she screams,
Anger runs down both of her cheeks.
Then she closed her eyes,
Found relief in a knife,
The blood flows as she cries.
All alone the way she feels,
Left alone to deal with,
All the pain drenched sorrowed relief,
Bite the lip just forget the bleeding.
And then she closed her eyes,
Found relief in a knife,
The blood flows as she cries.
Then she closed her eyes,
Found […]
They say you are shaped by the bad experiences. That what does not kill you makes you stronger. That all good things come to those who wait. Don’t wait for good things to come you must fight to get what you want. Travel the path less trodden. There is a fork in the road. A narrow path, and a wide winding path. Choose the most exciting.
I have heard so many contridictating sayings in my life that it can make one explode with uncertainty. But that’s where my experiences come in.
I’ve trodden forward before. I’ve survived bullying, teasing, physical abuse from peers. Verbal abuse from my […]
I’ve been suicidal since 7. No one knew but me. I tried to choke myself , or I’d tried to freeze to death. Nothing took me out but exhaustion. Too tired to finish. Some who know me are glad I’m still here. I’m not in a way, but it’s so complex to help anyone understand.
I had therapy since 11 or 12 till now. each one different and 2 fresh minds listened. I had doctors for pans unexplained. A few were answered the rest I had to just accept. They come and go.
All throughout those times death came across my mind. Across my eyes. I […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them […]
The anger boils within my blood, run through, my veins and pumps through my heart. I have reached my max i will not take anymore am not five and i will not be treated as such . I have done everything i was asked to do, i am obedient and kind ,but yet they keep me trapped here like a dog in a cage. I dont go out and lime with friends because they dont wish it i only try to a good child but not anymore i have my own life and i will fight for my rights as long as there is breath […]
That’s what I’ve learnt in life. I don’t deserve to be loved, I must be the worst person ever, thus all I deserve is pain and misery. I’m tired and today was hell, so bare with me if I don’t make much sense. Ever since I remember I’ve wanted to be loved and accepted.. and ever since i remember, I’ve been denied. My mother has always hated me. She’d never say a nice thing about me, she was convinced I’d only exist to ruin her life, cause her misery and she still accuses me of having tried to kill her when i was 5… nobody […]
I came out I was bi to my mom and it wasn’t the reaction I expected it to be. I expected it to be tears of joy but it was tears of madness and anger and I started to cry cause i didn’t know why she was getting mad of the situation I mean aren’t u gonna be happy for me i came out to u cause I trust you and now I have no choice but to think to kill myself I mean why hasn’t god taken me yet i mean it’s my time to go :/
So I live in a house with my 2 parents and 3 younger sisters. I also have 2 older sisters, but my family broke a little while back and I am no longer allowed to talk to one of them. Somewhere in the midst of my family breaking, my relationship with my parents also broke. I can’t explain why, but I can’t talk to them. Any time they are around, I have absolutely no personality. I never show happiness, sadness, anger, anything. Only when they are around though, it is strange. When they are gone I have a huge personality, I’m funny and sarcastic, loud […]
I think its possible the monster energy drink is what’s causing my erratic behavior.Â
On a side note, I still can’t chew even a fucking donut. Really hurts when I do. Or a slice of pizza.Â
(805) 861-5295
Thats in case you wanna text me if youre in the vicinity of me.Â
So I just met schizojinx. Awesome girl. Um ifonlyallofyoknew: I am sorry i was being an asshole yesterday. I was angry and took my anger out on you i dont normally do that and all i can blame it on is the monster i drank. Howtosurvive: text me, sorry I fell asleep. Anyone wanna chat? My […]
As a child, I used to idealize the world and humans .. I knew there were people with bad intentions, but my then-gullible-self believed the majority of us were working to make this world a place where one can feel alive most of the time (a better place) .. I used to see light and darkness wouldn’t have me shaken for too long .. I had genuine hope for the future (not that forced hope you’re expected to create)
From adolescence to when I dropped out, illusions had evaporated one after the other .. truth is people are overly concerned with improving their own situation, humans […]
I am in my late 20s, in a lesbian relationship, and diagnosed borderline personality disorder and have depression. I’ve been going to therapy for a few months and have been taking my meds as prescribed.
I have a degree in psychology and a Masters degree in forensic psychology. I enjoy running, surfing, basketball, snowboarding, and wakeboarding. I love my family.
My mother is understanding and supportive, as are my younger siblings. I also have some support from a few good friends.
However, my relationship is a chaotic rollercoaster and I can’t bare it anymore. The anger and pain have disolved my strength to keep going.
At […]
That feeling of nothing where I move from place to place not smiling or laughing, not caring or caring.
Some would call this being present. Present and detached. All the demands made on me are met with silence. Even my own needs are met with silence.
Though I feel like crying I’m just to lacking in anything to do so. If tears fall let them for they will not affect me.
I’ve always been able to relate to some other in some small way, but very very few the other way around. And it’s ok now because it no longer affects me.
Like a favourite movie, […]
Hello, I’m new to the site.
My name is Jaspar and I think I’m going to die…
What to say? I came to this site out of desperation…I’ve tried everything, therapy, meds which just leave me feeling sick. nothing is working. I’m just so fucking tired. I’m scared, so very scared of dieing…but the pain of life is too great and Depression got the best of me. I’m actually almost…excited? that I may end my suffering and go into an eternal sleep. I just have to find the right method of suicide now. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like death is fucking calling me. My […]
I don’t want to die, at least I don’t think I do. I just want to make that clear.
2 years ago I was cutting. Often. Almost everyday. I was angry and sad and angry at being sad. I didn’t know how to respond to these feelings, I pushed my mum away and I cut. Not very deep, but frequently, and over and over again in the same place Each fresh cut over a healing one The sight of that blood it helped.
Then i moved in with my dad and he caught me. I got better. I stopped. Every now and them I admired those fading […]
There’s no way to even really describe this. My god, all I wanted was to convey the terrifying EXPLOSIVE power of what happens within me, but I’ve no idea how.
I get angry. Or rather, perhaps I’m always angry, it just get buried nice and deep until I’m numb numb numb numb numb numb
And then everything starts combusting within me. And all I want is to SCREAAAAAAAAM. But I never do. I never do. It’s always just an internal internal scream of despair or anger or sadness or loneliness or DISGUST. Oh yes, a word I know well. Absolute, vile, putrid, festering, poisonous DISGUST. At people, […]
I’m Hannah. It’s my first time on this website, or any suicide forum for that matter. I found this website researching certain things about suicide. I’ve made several suicide attempts for over a year now, and I’m dead set on succeeding  it this month. I don’t see a reason for living anymore. I’m useless. I’m so depressed that I don’t have the motivation to get out of bed, or eat, or speak, or even open my fucking eyes in the morning. It just all so pointless. The hurting, and suffering, and hoping. I grew up with an alcohol dependent, abusive, work obsessed father, a narcissistic, jealous, […]
Hi guys.. did that Mormon prick disappear yet? I couldn’t stomach how that sad little demon took over the forums, and I have a hard time not reacting to trolls, so kept clear. Thanks to Dawg and many others, the troll was battled and showed his true colors of virulent racism, hatred and homophobia. It was SAD because evil people like that are one of the things that has made me hate society, the world, and assured me I am right o withdraw and watch the whole of the country walk cheerfully into the shitter shouting God Bless USA!! God Bless US!.
Anyway – this is […]
Dedicated to anyone who thinks about it- I understand- but it is not the answer.
I have been up for hours and am exhausted before the clock strikes eight. I eye the sink full of dirty items while the dishwasher lies four inches to the left. The house is silent and soon I know the air will be filled with anger.
Walking outside I water the just planted begonias, knowing full well once I leave they will die; much like the limited peace that lies between the walls. I have […]
Sick of being controlled by my boyfriend, I just want to do what I want to do sometimes, without being judged or questioned or told not to. Fuck.