I feel awfully confused, overanalyzing every single move, thought that comes into my mind. A couple of weeks ago, I had my first anxiety attack which I think I’m recovering. I haven’t had any symptoms lately, I sleep well and eat when my body asks for food, it isn’t very hard waking up, I can concentrate, I tend to forget small things but I think I’m doing fairly well. But sometimes I don’t really know how I feel although there is a sense of emptiness. I often contemplate suicide and think that my life is not that bad, that I have been strong, that I […]
Tag:
attack
broken down
all i hear is your voice
no one to care
nobody there
broken down
noise trauma, battered brain
no one to hear, i am rage filled/insane
can’t take anymore
of this cruel ass life
pain, trauma, false guilt, strife
voices viciously attack me day and night
god’s love? surely you jest?
sick ************ putting us to a tormenting test
tired, insane
soon blow out my brain
nice knowing you
glad you could destroy
your own
daughter
Sadly, I lost a great friend of mine named Andrew. He died on May 11, playing soccer. Andrew had a heart condition, and before he played that evening, he had 2 redbull. He had a really bad heart attack, and it took his life.
Andrew, was a beautiful person. He left behind friends, family and his girlfriend.
I miss him everyday so much.
When I attended his visitation, it really sunk in for me… He was dead. Gone. a little piece of blue sky, and another soul in heaven, another body in the ground.
Life is too short to not say things to people around […]
2.5 years ago I cheated on my boyfriend of 10 years. He never forgave me. I found out later that he cheated on me for revenge and had cheated on me years ago that I didn’t know. I strived to become better and professionally and physically I am but emotionally I am a wreck. We have been separated but finances force us to live together. I am full of shame for my actions to the point where any time I hear about something bad some on has done I imagine it is me until I feel even more ashamed. Its obsessive and I can’t stop. […]
I’m out of beer, all I’ve got that might help me are a few norcos, but they fucking suck. I’m done, things have just been getting more and more stressful throughout the night, I swear I’m about to just fucking break down and cry. Why the fuck are people like this? it’s not like any of us asked to have the chemicals in our heads fucked up beyond belief. A car fucking drove by my apartment and I panicked and grabbed a knife because I knew the bastard was coming into my place to attack me. He just kept driving, I knew he would, but […]
a while ago, i read an article that says extreme prolonged loneliness is just as bad as obesity as far as lowering life expectancy. i think, good. i am both extremely lonely and obese. i hope it doubles my chance of dying early. sometimes i get little chest pains. i’m only 18. but when it happens, i think about how it would feel to have a heart attack. that’s how i’ll probably go, if i don’t do it first; my obesity + the stress of loneliness/depression/everything else will finally come crashing down onto me, like lightning, and i’ll be gone.
I was never a popular kid. Sometimes I didn’t have any friends. Sometimes I had someone to go with, I wouldn’t say they were real friends.
After school, I did have friends. Popular ones, in fact. I used to go out every weekend, and just party all night, drink, laugh, go to sleep at 8 in the morning in some dirty apartment.
No big talks (at least no without alcohol being involved), no intimacy. We just had fun. It was kind of mandatory having fun.
So, people has calmed down, settled. I keep some of those friends and now we really speak. And some new […]
so my self harm has started becoming a big problem. the last month ive started to scare myself on how dependent I am on it, how deep Im pushing… how vivid the thoughts of suicide are.
I asked my tutor if counselling could be kept a secret from my mum, ive hid everything from her for the last few years and I don’t want her to know im not her happy little girl anymore. but I need help- even I can see that.
so my tutor ( a psychology teacher who has already suggested counselling) sat me down and we talked, id been on the verge of […]
Its just getting worse. First, all I could do was sleep. Now I cant sleep. I wake up in a panic attack in the middle of the night. Every night. I can’t function. Ive always thought I was strong minded. Solid. Now I feel myself slipping into pain induced insanity. I lost my family. The emptiness is crushing. Time is supposed to heal. But it only gets worse. My heart is broken. My mind is following.
I messed up. I am so fucking stupid. Now, it’s been three days and a non-stop panic attack. It’d just be better if I died and never existed.
For about three years now (I’m 16) I’ve been getting these weird intense horrible physical/mental feelings that occur at random and last for about 10 minutes. I’m not sure exactly but I think it could be a panic/anxiety attack. My mum said she used to get them too but she never really understands me and i asked to see a doctor and she said no. So I thought I’d go to the school nurse about it and she didn’t really tell me anything either. I’ve explained to my friend the feelings before and she was just like no you cant call it a panic attack […]
From the looks, I appear to be a runner forever running away from my problems. Nobody understood why I run and where I am running from.
I am actually running away from my goals, dreams and interests. It is a pain having them. Being autistic, these dreams, no matter how unrealistic they are, attack you everyday, Everyday you are reminded of the fact that it is not your interest, goals, dreams that matters. What matters is whether I am good enough to achieve those dreams.
I have fought many years. The Christians say that God has a better plan for […]
I keep reliving the same day over and over again. Wake up, nothing has changed. My thoughts instantly go to suicide to stop the pain. I constantly think about what I’ve lost and that there is nothing left. I’m so tired of crying every day. Now I’m to the point of this horrendous wail that I can’t control. I’m alone in a 5 bedroom house and the sound just echoes off of everything. Has anyone else experienced this heart wrenching moan? It used to be just simple crying but now it’s just a primal howl. Various times throughout the day, I wish for something to […]
It started out with being fired and then it went to trying to come off paxhell! Rapid heart beat…hospitalization for the first time for panic attack. Its been a slow downward spiral for 6 months. Two days ago i realized all this pain is my fault and i can’t take it anymore. I can’t take the ocd and the guilt, the derealization, the pills. I can barely hold down my job. Im afraid im going to give up. I can’t take it. Waiting to see this specialist and this specialist. Im so embarrassed but i dont have the energy to wait anymore. Im so tired […]
I am all empty inside. I have no friends. I don’t go to school anymore… the things I enjoyed in the past now look dead to me. I tried to end my life while I was on medical treatment for severe deppresion, and I was on a therapist treatment. For a funny coincidence, I ate bad pizza before I took 4 or 5 complete boxes of random medicine I found at home. My stomach was exploding, my heart went all crazy, and at 3:00 am when I thought I was going to die from a heart attack or something, I threw up because of the pizza. Fainted, […]
So.. I’ve beenn seriously contemplating suicide. I have so many support systems, but I’m just not sure if i can do this anymore. It’s too much
I have a weak heart because I had anorexia, and my doctor has to watch my potassium levels because of that. Too low, my heart stops beating. Too high and I have a heart attack. I’m incredibly depressed and I don’t know how to do this anymore. Should I kill myself? Is this suffering going to justify me checking out early? Does anyone know of your body will reject (throw up) an overdose on potassium? How do I make things […]
Hello, I first want to say I hope everyone is having a good day. I suppose mine would be a bit better if you all in the SP community could clear something up for me if you would. I have seen that you all wish to attack a certain member on here called Squid. And I do not wish to start anything by this post and I am sure you all will start in with your reasons of why he is indeed a Pedophile. I only wish to truly understand with clear evidence what is causing this to be said and nothing more. I do […]
I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]
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