I’ve never really liked going away from home. I used to be okay with it though. These past couple of years everything has changed. It started off with being unable to leave for a week. Then two nights. Then one. Now, even a full day trip causes anxiety. I’ve determined it’s not that I’m attached to anyone at my home, it’s my home itself. I am, however, going to college in 2 years. I’m scared as fuck. I’m really smart, and I have the grades to go anywhere. I’m afraid that my emotional problems will hold me back, leaving me unable to go anywhere but […]
just when you think you got it all together life hits you with a curve ball and puts you back in the slumps.
A constant question I ask.. How did I get here? How did I get to this empty dark place? A few ppl have said that I am not to blame for my past. But what if I fought harder to prevent all this torture I have now? What if I could’ve prevented the nightmares and seeing his face feeling his hands and his breath. Smelling his disgusting sweat and hearing his disturbing voice? What if I am the one to blame? I feel as though he shouldn’t get away with all he did while I sit and remember every last thing.. Yet he has no […]
All my life has contained of happy children and families.When I see them I can’t help but feel jealous.They seem so happy while my family acts like I wasn’t born.I wish my life could go back to normal like when I was little,we would spend every waking hour together but now we are lucky to spend 5 seconds together.After my grandfather died on January 31 2013, I have felt so alone and lost.I have tried so many times to be someone im not because I have no one to look up to and no one to help guide the way.I changed my hair […]
I deleted my old post because well it was just another cry for help answered by the very reason I despise my life.
Honestly, would any of you converse with other humans if you were in my situation? Everywhere you go there’s people on phones or in person (wherever I go) having fake conversations just to get a reaction or to harass me. Fake conversations. Such as the ones going on in my last post that I deleted. It drains the life of me. It’s so ridiculous. The relationship between me and my family is truly lost forever. I’ve never been closer to telling them all […]
Hi
I’m sharing my story, because it seems to make me feel better, which I’d guess is point of this site.
I’ve always had sensitivity, anxiety, and depression issues, (undiagnosed), but often medicated with once drugs and nowadays alcohol as a have a kid which has straightened me out some. I’ve managed to keep a good job, but have generally isolated myself. I’ve had thoughts of suicide in the past, but i’ve generally managed to form some kind of stability in work, sleep overs with my kid and the occassional binge drinking episode. A lonely existance, yet stable for me and also held together with a little […]
I consider my depression a terminal illness. Some of us battling this illness, we know we will terminate our lives one day. We are basically just waiting to die, because we can’t be saved. The darkness inside will always be there, waiting to resurface . It won’t let us be normal. It won’t let us be happy. It’s like we are slaves to this darkness. We basically sign our lives away by taking all the medication, because once you’re on antidepressants, you can’t stop taking them or else you’ll really be fucked in the […]
Last year on December 9th I lost my virginty, to a guy I thought really liked me. We where talking over the summer and he was always busy. After many tries we finally saw each other. The place where we going to go was closed so he said lets just go to the park. He asked if I had any smokes, I told him no. So we went across the street and he made me pay for the cigs. As we got to the park it […]
So I came across this site randomly whilst looking for ways to overcome anxiety and how to stop being a failure.
I had an amazing job, I screwed it up with my depression. I lost a baby back in 2011, a baby that was wanted so much. I had suffered with depression years before that but the minute I found out i was going to be a mum it was like my life was perfect and all the grey clouds had lifted. But there was a problem with the pregnancy and I had to terminate on medical grounds at 20 weeks. She wouldn’t survive, her lungs […]
My iPhone’s network-mainframe seems to be operating back to normal. I wonder.. I probably shouldn’t network back on that laptop, though.
I don’t know how much longer i can keep faking a smile. Whether it be at school, home, with friends and family I don’t think i can keep it up much longer. I might end up running away and never coming back..
I don’t know what to do. I bet nobody would care or notice if I left anyways
Why don’t I pack up and leave for good? :/ I am alone as it is anyways….
Just one question for you all… Why is it that in sometimes I feel like I’m back in that exact moment when my life really changed? Why is it that I can hear and see everything like it’s right there infront of me? Why is it I can even see it in color vivid as can be? Why can I even smell that familiar sent?…. Whys it all seem so real? Real to the point where lately I’m questioning myself if it is or not.. Sigh
I think’ve never introduced myself before… i apologize if i acted a kind bitter before… i was just in the phase ” i’ve passed through worse things, what is this person complaing about?”… i’ve realized that this was of no help.
Well, i’m from brazil, i don’t speak English perfectly as most of you’ve noticed already, i like poetry, art and also I’m passionate with the nature. Im yrs old and also an actor.
I wanna die because live has been a ***** with me.. so many sad things. and also i feel no one cares to the pain that is in my heart, i’ve been abused countless […]
So today I started posting on this blog for suicidal people. I posted and eventually a buncha people started egging me on to cut myself some more. Obviously I have terrible self esteem so I did it. I started broadcasting my cutting. They were asking for it. So I did it. How did my life get so bad? Why is my timing in life so bad? Nobody will ever understand. They’ll all just assume. Assume assume. All I’ve ever wanted is a girlfriend. I went to a seminar in las vegas to gain confidence with woman. Shortly afterwards I had sex with the first non […]
I sit here on my own. Just waiting for someone to realize that I am an island. I wish someone would be brave enough to row out to sea, just to stumble upon me. But instead I sit here, alone and deserted. Minutes, days, months pass without human contact. Just me and my thoughts, swirling around like a hurricane. They batter my mind like wind against a wall, they tear me up by the roots and toss me around like I’m nothing. I guess I am nothing. If an island is never discovered, did it ever exist? I kind of doubt it.
But I will sit […]
I fell like I’m walking down a long dark hallway….feeling the walls trying to find the light….searching and searching….never being able to find it….the hallway goes on forever…..never ending but always dark…..sometimes I feel like I’ve found it…a way out…..a door that escapes from the long dark halls….but someone or something keeps pulling me back in…..I’m a prisoner to these dark halls….waiting and waiting for a way out….
I love u so much…..I don’t think you realize how what you do affect me…..you cry I cry, you laugh I laugh…..I would give my life to save yours…..your very existence means the world to me…..your existence is the reason I still exist myself…..if anything ever happened to you a part of me would disappear…..and not just a little part that can be fixed and mended over time…..a giant hunk of me…..a part of me that can never be just taped back together with time….a part of me that would forever be broken…..I don’t know if I would be able to go on wothoght you….The […]
I have a block deep in my mind.
Not as simple as to describe as a writers block or an artists block.
No.
This block is much different. It cannot be fixed by just walking away and coming back later.
My block is purely mental.
I cannot feel happiness.
Now let me make something clear. It’s not that I do not wat to feel happiness. It’s that I physically cannot.
It feels like I am empty. Like someone has ripped my heart and lungs out.
I am drowning in myself.
And I dont think there is any escape.
Someone save me.
I have so many things to do this week and I’m having trouble bringing myself to do them. I’m just focusing on how shitty I’ve been feeling these past few days. How do I snap out of it? I thought I was feeling better yesterday or at least beginning to feel better but I guess I wasn’t because now it’s coming all back. I can’t afford to feel this way right now. I feel like most of the time I try to suppress how I feel because I always have something to do. Something is always due, and I always have some sort of exam […]
just saw a christmas countdown on the news.37 days til christmas.where the fuck did the time go?
now i’m all anxious since i haven’t found a job, been unemployed for almost a year.and it’s crushing me since i promised myself that i would make our family’s 2014 holiday celebrations grand.i’ll fund it, make my parents happy and proud,be the best eldest sis giving presents to my siblings.give grown-up gifts to my relatives as a sign of gratitude.bake a lovely cake, impress my bf and his family.
shit, i’m not going to be able to do any of that.none of that.i’m a fucking disgrace, a loser.it’s making […]