I’m slipping off the edge again, I feel like every where i turn it’s gonna be another round of how to tear down the weird girl. It’s like they only come after me and I don’t know why. I don’t understand why it is such a bad thing to be different from the others. Why should it matter that I like a lot of eyeliner, or that the bottom half of my hair is a different color every two weeks. why should it matter to anyone? It’s not like my actions have a direct cause on your life. It’s not like I plan my life […]
Tag:
bad
Basically I am in a bad situation. I don’t have anybody around for any kind of a support system and I don’t want to call some hotline. I am dealing with depression, abuse, and suicidal thoughts quite often and I am stuck alone. Most of the time I’m not allowed to leave the house because I’ve supposedly  done something wrong. I don’t think I’ll be ending my life anytime soon but I might end up giving in if my situation doesn’t change. Anyone have any advice?
It’s so horrible that I feel like I want to die every day! Like, why me? Why do I deserve to feel this way?! It all started when I was 13, started cutting, burning myself and suicide attempts… But when I was 15 it got so much worse! I had to deal with my 21 years old boyfriend at the time (we were together 10 months) Raping me, hitting me, making me do things that I didn’t want to do, stopping me talking to my friends and begging me to cut myself because he liked the look of it.. Because of him I tried to […]
there’s this girl I stayed up all extra late to talk her actually I met her on here… after awhile she gave me a reason to not want to kill myself anymore… then we started to have feelings for each other..at least that’s what I thought..a couple of I love yous and good conversations later I get a bad feeling that something isn’t right turns out she had a boyfriend all along I was just some extra conversation..then I almost lost my mom I lost my job and im out of reasons to keep going.. guess this is goodbye
Unhappy, Angry, low self esteem, Always feel like I’m outside looking in, where do I fit in? ashamed of myself, I feel so stupid, when I turn And walk away they are talking bad about me, I can feel it… I Insult you to hide my insecurity and pain, I say I Hate you when I just wanted a hug, Where was Dad when I needed his love?.. I feel like I’m Dying, Will Anyone notice or Even care?….. Years Later, Frown Lines, Eyes Weary so much mental Pain Even my body aches, I fucking give, I can’t take […]
After the best summer of my whole life I find myself back here for the first time in a couple of years. Kind of the only place I know to turn to when I really really really need people that understand to lend an ear…
Depressed lately… I just can’t be proud of myself anymore. I used to do really well at uni and now I’m in my final year I feel all the passion and spark I had for my major and my future has been snuffed out by the brutal machine they call the system. It just gets me down… I can study and […]
So my issues with being suicidal are somewhat complicated. Well, everyone’s are. Does anyone else have a chronic illness? I was diagnosed with M.E at age 13. More commonly known as chronic fatigue syndrome, that is however a pathetic name for something as debilitating as I have. I cycle through extremely bad times and not so bad times. The extremely bad times, like now consist of not being able to stand up for more than a minute, feeling the most overwhelming exhaustion the human body is capable of, not being able to shower or feed myself and being very depressed. The not so bad times […]
I’m having another episode right now.. it’s really bad. i want something to happen… i either want to end it all right now or i want someone to just help me out of this and figure out what I should do next… I’m tired of waiting and letting this happen over andover again. please.
I hope you can make me love myself more.
I hope you can make life a little more sure.
I hope you can touch me and make me feel good.
I hope I’ll make you happy, as for that I should.
I hope you’ll make me pretty, inside and out.
I hope you’ll show me what supposed ‘love’ is all about.
I hope you’ll make me happy, certain and bright.
I hope you can make it turn out alright.
I hope you can stop me from being so wrong.
I hope you’ll give me reason to go on.
I hope you’ll like music and show me fun.
I hope you’ll show how enjoying life is done.
I […]
I am 15, I live in a house with my mum, my brother and my mothers partner, recently my mother had a baby, but that doesn’t sound so bad, however, earlier in life I was diagnosed with aspergers, and everything went to hell, this was before my mother met her partner, but anyway, after that I knew that I wouldn’t be able to have what every other teenager could have, and my mother seemed to know that too and is personally trying to ruin my life, ever since she heard that I was diagnosed she started treating me like a baby, I had less privileges […]
i just realized that i stayed up the whole night drinking and doing nothing. its 7 AM. and i’m quite drunk. is this bad? I’m usually pretty good about my alcohol consumption.
I was on my way home from a rehearsal on Saturday evening. I wasn’t having a particularly bad day but it wasn’t great either. I don’t know why, but I just became overwhelmed with feelings and all the shit that’s been going on lately. I hate it when this happens. I’ll be completely fine one second and then the next I’m bawling my eyes out or I’m so angry that I start hitting things or myself. i don’t understand why this happens. it’s scary because I was literally standing on the platform at the train station waiting for the train to come so I could […]
Hello Friends,
About 6 weeks ago I was ready to move on…..all my ducks were in a row, as the saying goes. But then three things happened.
1. I learned a person I know and respect also suffers from MDD and has attempted. She shared this with me quite out of the blue. Evidently it took someone who had walked several miles in my shoes to see and heed the signs. I wasn’t aware I had let anything slip. She picked right up on it. I now have someone safe to go to in times of need. And what is really remarkable is she knows and understands that […]
“Imagine you are in the middle of the sea surrounded by hungry sharks,
How do you escape alive?……….
you stop imagining .”
Basically you “wake up”.
I had a free class and the supervisor decided to do these weird riddles, and that was one of them.
( a weird free class I will admit)..
I find myself often wishing that this were the case, that with most hopeless situations, we could just wake up, and before you say it I know that these are the imaginings of a fool. Â I’d like to think that this – my life- is just the ultimate nightmare and that I will wake up at some […]
Frankly, I believe I’m growing weary; tired.
Not quite sleepy tired, why I’m finding it more and more difficult to become sleepy at night anymore (hence why I’m up at 11:27 p.m. feeling fully awake) but tired of something else.
Perhaps I’m tired of waiting. I believe I have full reason to be tired of waiting, for I’ve been waiting eight months for him. (M.A.B.) Eight goddamn months.
Why do people have to go through such heartbreak and disappointment? For I have waited and waited just so that nothing will happen.
I feel like suicide. Too bad all my overdose attempts never work.
I want to be more than what people think I’m going to become. I want exceed expectations. But who am I perspiring to be? Something more than what I am. Something meaningful, and careful yet carless enough to bring more than a strict happiness to those who may surround me. I want and hope for so many things that I’ve lost track of what that track is. And to be honest? I can’t because I am incapable of separating the two at this very moment. The truth and lies that is. Self pitty and feeling sorry for yourself is a terrible habit one can subject […]
Not having the energy to write back guys you think are cute
not having energy to write reviews on yelp,things you love My childhood psychtrist killed himself this past weekend what does that say for me? what does that mean,This was amilestone breaking point in a metaphorical symbolic way,Idk idk things have been getting better,Like really better but when things go bad everything just piles on,Really I could break or be the most strongest person If anyone knew my whole life or my life they would see how thin and how thin and so close they are to eachother idk idk ill be fine but this […]
Tonight was interesting. I found out my mom had been married before, in college. And that my father was a complete pot head. And so was every other man my mom had dated before. And that my uncle was a very popular weed dealer in southern Arkansas. My cousin doesn’t know, but my uncle had been married before to a total ***** and he doesn’t want Natalie to know. I really don’t like secrets much less keeping them. I wish my mom hadn’t told me that because I will probably end up fucking shit up again. Sad night. Its actually pretty funny I wasn’t invited […]
I do it because I have so much mental pain, I need to find a way to make it physical and get it out. So I abuse my body. I used to think I’d just do a few cuts here and there when I felt really bad, but now I do it almost every day, anywhere from10-200 at a time. It has taken over my life. I feel weird typing it; like, part of me is saying “no it hasn’t, you still have a life” but another part is saying “you’ve finally admitted to it”. I don’t know. I know this sounds stupid, but there’s […]
I don’t know what to do. I love my boyfriend so much, and I’ve told him so many times that I never want to hurt him, but that I know I will, and he just stays. I keep giving him chances to get out of the relationship, but he keeps saying that he’s staying. I’m still planning on killing myself, I haven’t picked a new date yet though. I don’t know what to do to make it hurt him less though. I feel bad because I know it’s going to be really hard on him, but I just can’t stay here much longer. I’ve waited […]