So, it’s the end of a terrible spring break. Last week, a kid in my class began making fun of Death, like it was something casual. He asked my closest friend if she “wanted to die”. She of course replied no, but he replied with “I think you’re lying”. I told him not to joke around about Death, cuz some people have bad memories with it. He flipped out on me, saying it was natural and nothing can stop it. Now, he had heard about my friend, and how she died in front of me, thanks to me, but he obviously didn’t care. It’s hard […]
I was reading this book called the Van Gogh Blues. Â It’s all about how creative people suffer with depression because of a meaning complex, and it freaked me out because I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for years, and I always figured that one day when I create something it will dissipate. Â If creating can’t bring me meaning, then what can?
Everything in my life seems so fucked, which is ridiculous because so much of it is petty or will be unimportant in six months. Â Sometimes I just feel like there’s no point and I’m such a bad person and I should die, but at the […]
Every single day I am closer to my death.
Now this may sound natural to all of you.
But preparing your noose isn’t.
Preparation for death isn’t natural.
We weren’t made to accept death so why has my mind told me that I can now?
I prayed for strength – instead I got open wounds along my arms.
I asked for forgiveness – instead I got abandoned by the people I love the most.
Everybody knows that I am just one bad day away from suicide.
The worst part?
They’ve thrown me into the past.
RIP Me.
May my […]
I honestly belive I am horrible person. I sometimes think about death, and wanting to kill myself, but not very seriously, so I wouldn’t consider myself suicidal. Still, I need to talk to someone because I would never tell my family or friends any of this, so obviously I have turned to the web to vent. I honestly think I ruin everything. Everything I do wether it’s little or small, I always manage to screw up. I feel like everything’s my fault. I keep trying and trying but still I feel like everything is just not turning out. And honestly I am tired of screwing […]
all i want to do now is hurt myself more
or maybe just kill myself now
because i have done it and its bad
i dont know anything anymore
i dont know how to feel anymore
but at the same time i feel this great pain
and i dont know how to make it go away
i just want it to all stop but it cant
so maybe i will just hurt myself more
ill just keep making myself bleed
until one day i take it too far and bleed to my death
then maybe the pain will go away
who knows.
My dad is always getting pissed off all day. I think he’s just really stressed all the time. And I get that but he lets his anger show all the time (a little too much for my taste) Anyways so I decided to type this up right now because I just recently witnessed my dad’s abusive parenting?(I don’t know if it was) My dad just got done screaming at my little brother for having bad grades. Not only did he scream at him but he also grabbed him tightly by the arms like he was some kind of dummy and started shaking him violently while […]
Have you ever did something bad to someone?
Have you ever hurt somebody’s feelings?
Have you ever tought about killing someone?
Have you ever planned to kill someone?
Have you ever desired someone to suffer?
I’ve been thinking about being bad, I’m usually sad, shy and fragile, but lately…
I’ve been suicidal for a very long time now. Seriously,I don’t understand how people “recover”. It’s all I can do to keep myself together everyday. Some days are better than others. Most just suck! I go in to see him today& I feel worse coming out of there. He makes me feel bad for feeling suicidal, like it’s a switch I can turn off. I’ve had these feelings for a VERY long time! How are they supposed to go away in 7 months? I’m supposed to be able to call him if things get bad for a coaching call, but I don’t feel like I […]
I’m sitting here listening to my mother and grandparents babble about all the bad news going on in the world.
I already woke up with an anxiety attack which is now turning into anger, and I have to have a clear mind so I drive to the store later and then to the crazy doctor. Really I just want to throw my cup of coffee against the room and punch a few holes in the wall and tell everyone in the kitchen to shut the hell up.
Just fuck man. Am I crazy?
There’s been times in my life when change rattled me so bad, that I stayed up at night pondering the endless outcomes that could take place.
Then the flip side was seeking change so I could continue on without going mad.
Looking back, I don’t enjoy the contridictions that have taken place…..and honestly, neither change or no change sounds good right now.
Perfect time to go
been extremely depressed lately.. feels pretty bad if anyone wants to talk just message me
I am 45 years old and an electrician who is currently laid off my second wife of 8yrs and I just separated i’m on community Corrections for a DUI i got last year got blow machine on my truck and no income so i’m kinda fucked but really i put out my mind the bad shyt focus on tomorrow
You do something wrong people shun you. You step out of line then they punish you. You say something wrong people ignore you. You dress the wrong way people gossip about you. You talk or act different people push you away. You stand up to a bully then you’re the bad guy. You try to be nice then you’re the outcast. You get raped then people say you’re the whore/slut. You’re parents don’t want you then people say you’re worthless. You show your feelings then people say you’re dramatic. You show your depression then they say you fake it. You finally kill yourself…. yet people […]
i just want to cut so bad, i can even see the exact places i’ll do it. my hands shake when i’m not holding something, my skin crawls, and itch that can’t be satisfied. a thirst that wont be quenched. i need to cut. but i’m afraid to even get up. because i know exactly where something is. and if by some chance it’s not there, i know where a lighter is. a burn would last longer, hurt more. give more of a release. but i can’t. it’s wrong, forbidden
So today I found out that I’m failing a class. I’m so disappointed and ashamed in myself cause I used to be the girl in the front of the room telling you the answer to problem 7 and earning good grades. Now I’m the girl in the back of the class room asking you for the answer to number 7 and receiving bad grades. I get told constantly that I could do better , but when I try my best can still get improvement.
I get told to ask the teacher for help but I don’t want to. 1. Because I feel dumb and ashamed, and […]
We are all upset,and maybe the reason behind it is we are alone.despite being there for people who didnt even deserved us,we stood by their back.and then like always we end up being alone,feeling betrayed and more then that frustrated.now days its more of a pattern a person is in your life maybe a friend,boyfriend but they all seem to leave after a certain point of extent.everytimg seems exciting n fulfilling in its start but it always has a bad end.this bad ending has made todays life a living hell….we all want infact need just one person who is true.it doesnt needs to be a […]
So I made a post of burial sites (asking which was your style) which I quickly learned everybody would prefer to be cremated. Â So now I will post the urns.
Or if you want to be scattered into a hurricane like clevername (not a bad idea)
Or if drowning and being digested by a shark is your style, that’s fine.
Or perhaps being shipped into space
I ask myself this question more often then others.
Why am I fucked up like this?
Why did I change from the old me?
Why do I hate myself?
I can’t answer all those questions maybe not even one, but I do know that
I feel this way and I think this is how others view me because this is how I see myself.
The girl who fucks up, the broken one.
I’m not a person I’m an element of the universe.
I just so happened to be picked to live the life I lived cause I know nobody could live it as bad as I do.
I ask myself ‘Why’ because I know […]
Just wondering what do you guys think of corporal punishment? When would you say that disciplining a child constitutes abuse?
I don’t think I can say that I was ever beaten as a child, but I was certainly slapped. A lot. The hardest I’ve ever been hit out of discipline left a red mark which lasted about 6 hours and then disappeared.. which isn’t bad at all. Personally I think the main issue for me was the emotional distress it caused rather than the physical pain. However I also think the “discipline” I received was a bit in excess.. like how many times would you slap […]