Everyday the temptation to end my life taunts me. I just have to keep thinking that it’s a beautiful day, why ruin a day like this for my family?
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Beautiful Day
Wow it’s been awhile since I last read through all these stories.
All I have to say to all you beautiful human beings that are feeling low and depressed, or thinking of the most craziest shit to do? Is SMILEEEEEEE (: From one ear to another, stretch that smile of yours. Who knows, you might just make someones day with that beautiful smile.
Be happy, or well you could TRY and be happy. If it doesn’t work? Smoke a blunt. haha kidding (: Have a dance in your room, put those earphones on maximum volume and dance like its the end of the world. I promise you, […]
beautiful day outside. in the 80s. but i see only darkness. can’t seem to escape my head. don’t have the energy to do anything. want to sleep, but can’t. barely have the energy to write this. trying to form coherent sentences . it is almost may. the month i had designated as my last. maybe that is why i am weepy, sad, etc etc. name the depression symptom i have it. the muscle pain and fatigue seem to be getting worse. sleep doesn’t feel refreshing. like i have been beaten up while i slept. then there is the suicidal thoughts. never far from my mind. […]
so i would have been dead today, but once again my fucking life just gets better by the second. was trying to drive until i found a nice drop off a cliff or something but, as my life goes, my god damn truck wouldnt even START for me to do that. Go figure….the one shitty thing i had left in this world that was always there for me, has now finally shit out. I feel the same as that “Friday” posting author, dont really want my family to find me. But i also cant keep fucking waking up to this shit world everyday thinking “YES..another […]
I’m not here to judge or talk you out of cutting, overdosing, or other means of escaping. Primarily because i myself have been through it all and still am. My life has been a constant shove here and there for me to pick up the blades i keep in my makeup bag. Scars dont bother me, the pain can be grown accustomed to. I have heard just about every cliche from people who swear they want to help. I am not a reject and have always done well in school and outside. I have friends and am not a total failure as a girl. But […]
So it’s actually a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and its actually warm outside. Everyone always seem to enjoy the sunshine. People are happier and less annoyed and it only makes me more irritated. It only reminds me more of how miserable I feel.
I cant even fucking smoke my weed because every one of my neighbours are outside. And if I just go outside and leave the house for a few minutes my mom will ask me what I was doing. Where do you go for 5 minutes but you need to leave the house? Also since I couldnt smoke all day […]