Remarkably, two years from its onset, I’m still alive; still fighting. By some odd twist of fate, I’m still here…still on this beautiful earth that once was forgotten in my mind. I’m still here to speak of the taboo disease that is depression…this stigma that is an incomprehensible sadness. The sole disease that many encounter, yet the sole disease that no one wants to admit to. The sole disease that is so easily swept under the rug. The sole disease that is too disgusting to talk about, so it’s kept to a whisper. The sole disease that is too embarrassing to ask for help, so […]
better
Everyone has a point in there lives where they dont know who they are, where they are, or who they want to be. Some people have to hit rock bottom before getting back up but sometimes we keep falling which is okay as long as you keep tryin. I had to hit rock bottom twice before I realized I had to get clean and sober. Im not perfect and I can fall at anytime but, right now Im heading back to the top of recovery. Let me tell you about my journey and my story about strength; sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Remarkably, two years from its onset, I’m still alive; still fighting. By some odd twist of fate, I’m still here…still on this beautiful earth that once was forgotten in my mind. I’m still here to speak of the taboo disease that is depression…this stigma that is an incomprehensible sadness. The sole disease that many encounter, yet the sole disease that no one wants to admit to. The sole disease that is so easily swept under the rug. The sole disease that is too disgusting to talk about, so it’s kept to a whisper. The sole disease that is too embarrassing to ask for help, so […]
Telling someone that they shouldn’t be sad because other people have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn’t be happy because other people have it better.
fuck plattitudes
fuck this feeling
fuck everything… life sucks……
so fustrated, i dont even know what to say….
fuck this
 I watched both of the Kill Bill movies today (for the 14th time). Pai Mei is my favorite character from the series. I wonder if I could train under someone like him. How does one even go about finding an authentic Pai Mei? Would I need to infiltrate an international assassin network first?
This actor is named Gordon Liu. He was also the leader of the Crazy 88’s – (the pack of swordsmen who try to kill Beatrix Kiddo at O-ren Ishii’s compound). Mr. Liu suffered a stroke in 2011 which left him partially paralyzed on his right side, and he’s got […]
Though no one that knows me will ever see this, I felt it necessary to write these last words. I don’t know why.
Tonight, it will end. Thirty-one years was too long to stay alive. My mother should have aborted me instead of abandoning me at the hospital. I wish I hadn’t thrown up the pills when I was ten. I wish the gun hadn’t misfired when I was fourteen. I wish I would’ve jumped off the bridge on my eighteenth birthday, instead of losing courage. I was told to hold on and be strong as a child. As a teenager, I was told my twenties […]
Humans are smart and tend to take intelligent decisions always
how to close a business deal, intelligent choices to make life better,the probability calculations, innovations, research.
out of all these most intelligent choice is suicide
Why some people consider it as selfish act?
i feel like giving  up
i try to write down how i feel but somehow the page stayed blank
and i couldnt have described it any better
i sat in my room and i asked myself if this is how the stars feel when the sky swallows them whole.
my eyes go heavy and i willingly closed them hoping i would never have to open them again…
-deathly_paradise
Hey, beautiful people!
I was on this site two years ago as one of you. I was young, depressed, and had intentions of taking my own life. While I don’t see any familiar names, it was people like YOU who helped me become the person I am today. Today, I absolutely love my life. The narrow path I was on may have devastated me, but here I am today. I am here to tell you all that it DOES get better. By talking to people who genuinely care about you and having a little hope, you can get better. I promise. I have helped several people […]
Well, it’s officially clear. I am absolutely worthless and can’t do anything right.
I try to make people laugh, and it is instantly qualified as “begging for attention”, unless someone else does/says it, in which case, it’s hilarious.
I try to help out around the house and I get in trouble for not doing it right and yelled at because I am not my brother or sister.
I try to be myself and I get hated for it.
If I were to list all of the things I did wrong, the list would go on forever. I am a worthless screw-up and the world would […]
every thing I do for myself to show my family I’m doing better isn’t good enough. They always tell take it step by step but once I make alittle progress with my anxiety they say “that’s nothing, do *this or that* and maybe I’ll be impressed” they don’t see how hard I’m trying.  they can’t see that I’m doing my best to  get better. They’re only making it worse. I can’t take it anymore it’s been like this for months.
My father committed suicide when I was 5 years old leaving me, my 9 year old sister and mum devastated. I believe that he thought we would be better off without him and he was doing us a favour. I’m 17 years old now and I still break down and cry for the father I never had. Suicide is selfish, if a person has children on this Earth it is their responsibility to protect, guide and support them. Not having a father has affected me in countless way. My father wasn’t there to teach me how to ride a bike, to pick me up when […]
Here I am. 1 year later. This post is the continuation of this one : http://suicideproject.org/2014/01/times-running/
Tomorrow, I’m supposed to decide if I can possibly ever be happy or not. If I can, I can’t think about suicide ever again. If I can’t be happy, I start planning my exit.
I did put a lot of efforts in the last year, to feel better. I took a lot of risks and changed a lot of things. I do feel better than I did last year, but sometimes, I still want to die.
I’ve been through some serious heartbreaks and I’m still in a major depression. Taking pills. Seeing […]
I wonder what would happen if I just said goodbye. If I just went away…I haven’t been happy since daddy passed away. He was the only one that made me feel loved….How do I get better? How do I release? My wrist craves the nick of a razor but I just can’t give in.
Nothing can make me stop thinking about killing myself. I went to the hospital and thought I was better but every time I take my anti depressants or any type of medicine I feel such an urge to take the whole bottle. Anytime I’m driving I think about crashing the car. Anytime I’m on a tall building I think of jumping off. I watch cop shows on TV and wonder how great it would be to be one of those dead bodies. Even when I’m not in a bad/sad mood I think about it all the time. Help. Please.
I have been back home to my country to attend my niece’s wedding, it was beautiful event, but it made realize how so alone I am and I have nobody to say all this to as my family doesn’t know that I am ill with my mental health and that I have been suicidal for last for months and that I had made 7 unsucessful atttempts at ending it all and was twice in psych hospital to stop me killing myself as on those two ocassions I would have not survived if they hadn’t stopped me.
In my visit to my country, my friend told me […]
So I started to become chronically depressed which only worsened as I aged. I believe it started when I was 8. Parents are selfish with terrible emotional and self esteem issues who should never have had the right to conceive. To summarize; Mom is a few wire-crosses short of self-combustion. Ego driven, superficial maniac that is incredibly angry and would just scream, scream, scream 24 hours a day. In any other previous time period she would have been taken out back behind the barn and put out of her misery like a rabid dog. Dad has some self-esteem issues, and would basically put me down […]
If I were to die, who would care?
I’m sure someone would care, for a few minutes, but honestly, who would really take it to heart because I meant something?
My family might care for a minute, but they would forget about me, probably within a week.
I don’t really have any friends, and I know why. I am a jerk. I am worthless and stupid and I have no purpose. So, the people who are “friends” with me are friends with me out of pity. They would probably be better off if I died.
I honestly can’t think of anyone who would […]
I’m bound to this earth with the feeling of regret from past events. My family doesn’t make the fact that i hate every part of my being any better. Sometimes i wonder, Why didn’t my mom leave my drunk dad? I mean she could have left him and spared my childhood memories from this twirling downward spiral of pain. I just wish i could have had a better time growing up. I only had One life, One childhood, One family….i could have had a chance at being happy if my mom left him……Happiness? What the fuck is the feeling of “True happiness”, someone please explain, […]