I was so depressed last night. Poor me, poor you. Poor fool who thinks your life sucks. Shit, I’m sick of pity. I’m buzzed. I drank a cup of Jack, now I feel good. I can’t help but wonder how long this will last. 10 more shots and I’ll want to die. I have an extra big bottle tonight. Manipulation has always done me so much good. I know my habits, drink and feel good, drink more feel okay, drink too much want to die. I have too much alcohol in the fridge. Way too much alcohol for one man to handle. Blah blah blah. […]
Tag:
Bitch
Just had another fight with him today. That’s all we do these days.
I always take the passive side and don’t say what i really want to because i know he’ll just hang up, walk away or not talk to me.
Such a child.
All i want to do is learn how to stand my ground and make him listen but in our fights it always becomes a ***** sesh about what i have done wrong. Although i guess that’s everyone’s opinion when they are in a fight.
I moved out of my brothers today, my little niece finally isn’t around so i can cut again.
For the past 2 years, I’m 14 by the way, I’ve been dealing with depression. Major depression. I remember even when I was 12, when everything started- there would be voices in my head that called me so many things that it would be impossible to get them out. Even with counseling, no matter what I poured out it was never enough. There was this big empty gap in my soul and every second, every minute, and every hour of my life it would just keep getting bigger. Last year, I found myself completely gone. I went hysteric and I tried to commit suicide. The […]
I have this one so-called friend who’s always calling me pessimistic and way too negative. She’s one of those intensely annoying types, unbelievably selfish but able to hide that trait under a mask of caring before backstabbing for her own enjoyment. The kind of girl who asks how much work you’ve been doing just so she can brag about how hardworking she is before starting on at you and making you feel like crap… Basically, she’s poisonous.
But yeah, she likes to call me a pessimist which I am not. I’m not a pessimist at all, I’m simply a realist who’s tired of bullshit and doesn’t […]
I don’t have a sob story. I have never been abused. My parents are alive and healthy as are my siblings.
I’m almost sure I have depression, I have every single one of the signs, but I don’t want to tell my mom.
I’m not pretty, I have an oddly shaped face and horrible eyebrows that no matter how much I pay to have them shaped, their just never pretty. My eyes are nothing special, same as my nose, and my lips are incredibly thin. My hair is a ugly blond-ish brown that just looks greasy all the time. I’m not smart, I’m not athletic, I’m not […]
One of my friends had quite the bad day.
Some ***** from our school showed everyone her tumblr which was quite personal. She had stuff about her self harm and her suicidal thoughts. Now they’re all calling her an attention seeker and she’s so upset she won’t come back to school until Monday.
I feel like I should be doing something to help. I feel like I should be yelling at these dickheads and showing them my wrists to show that people who self harm are not attention seekers as we do our best to hide our cuts.
I want to be useful to her. I want to […]
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry that I lied. I’m sorry I couldn’t face the truth and covered it up. I’m sorry I tried to hide everything so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the full truth.
Mom and dad… I’m sorry I couldn’t be that perfect daughter. I’m sorry that I don’t get good grades and panic while in public. I’m sorry I let myself get beat up. I’m sorry I don’t tell you things anymore. I’m sorry I didn’t try to help you when I knew things were getting tough. I’m sorry I fight with my brothers. […]
After reading posts here I’ve noticed a few similarities. Â Sensitive, articulate people, who are lonley and hurting. Â Feeling like outcasts, loners, misunderstood and longing for someone to care. Â Most have been abused by people in their lives, who sound like a bunch of stupid douchebags.
Here’s the closest I can get to a ‘positive thought’ tonight: Why should I feel bad because some asshole was mean to me? Â Fuck that asshole! Â I’m not going to commit suicide, just so I can outlive that bastard and deface his grave!
“Who’s laughing now, *****?! Â Not you, cuz you’re dead!”
(I might be a miserable person, but I still got a […]
I cried for the first time in almost 10 years. It was only like 2 or 3 drops, but for someone like me who thought his tear ducts dried out years ago, it was a real relief. I have been contemplating suicide for years now. But only recently have i reached my breaking point. I have no real friends, only acquaintances. Im a 20 year old virgin, who only had one girlfriend, but i never met her in person. Had my heart broken more times then i can count. I learn the hard way that nice guys finish last, because im hopelessly to nice for […]
I’ve decided to bore you all with a day of my life to see if anyone can relate to having “a good life” and thus having no reason to feel so bad all the time. Let me save you some time and summarize: whine, whine, whine, *****, complain, I hate everything, my friend tried to kill herself.
BAM. just saved you oodles of time.
It’s 6am. I’m tired, already tired and the day hasn’t even started for me yet. I couldn’t sleep last night, just like most nights, and stayed up until 1. I put on clothes, they could be any clothes really, they could be […]
I thought my meds were working, It has only been a week and they seemed great. But Ive started getting the thoughts back, especially in my dreams. The anti depressant cant control my dreams which is so frustrating. My best friend who has been there through everything with me, seems to find it funny im so depressed and that now shes just being a ***** and putting me second and the guys that use her for photos first. That hurts a lot,..I just into an fight with her ..,my other best friend…well shes constantly spending time with this guy. Its just so easy […]
its wierd how even though you may not always remember something, your mind never forgets what happened for the rest of your life,i know thats why i wake up at the same time every morning, wen i even can sleep,people tell you to move on and forget about what happened,ok, just let me slam my head against the cement and get amnesia,if its that bad that i can forget time to time but my mind alawys remembers, and noone ever tried to help me through the trama,then those people can eat shit and die,i was woken up around the same time in the morning every […]
,i only give people what they ask for,,but then you see these cold ass bitches roming this planet that are rude and mean toeveryone. people they never saw before, mean nomatter what,, they just walk past a random person and have to say the meanest shit possible,why?what is the point of being a ***** all the time? every second of every day??and some people iv met,i dont know what could make them such a mean cruel *****,iv been through pure hell,and atleast i dont try to ruine a random strangers day,, society is fucked up, and how are you sapost to think or look at […]
What will it take to show you that it’s not the life it seems (I’m not O.K)….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I told him, about my thoughts. Naturally he didn’t want me to do it. He just surprised me with his kindness.
So… Anyway. Life is shit. Only 21 days now? sweet, I can’t fucking wait. I’m sick of this life and this family and all of the arguements. My brother is a selfish prick, my sister is a *****, My mum just fucks me off all the time… And my dad. Bless him, trying to help but really, he was just making things worse. He shouldn’t blame himself though. I have found out how to cause bruises! 😀 which is amazing as they are easy to […]
Back in January, i really realized that my life really sucked. Im an overweight 15 year old girl in 9th grade. I always hated myself in middle school because it felt like i didn’t fit in with anybody. And it felt like nobody liked me. Then, the bullying started. In 7th grade =, this boy named Cameron started calling me names and pushing me in the hallways and stuff. He called me names like fat ***** and ugly hoe and stuff. He got expelled for that because someone saw what he was doing and reported it to the principle. Then in 8th […]
It’s been a hell of a long time since I’ve posted. I doubt anyone’s been active here long enough to remember my story so I’m just going to start from the beginning. But uh, I need some advice, sp.
So basically I’ve had a female best friend (I’m a guy) for a while now and we’re really close, we talk about everything, and she means the world to me, but I like like her. We had a very short fling about a year and a half ago but it hasn’t been until now that we really connected on a deeper level, and she has a lot […]
I have never been rich. There was never a time where my mom had money to throw away. We always have had just enough. But it has never been this bad. My mom has never really bothered me with financial problems. Usually if we are late on a bill or something she just finds a way to pay it. But its gotten to the point where there is no way. My step dad doesn’t work enough to pay for everything and my moms disability check barley pays 1 bill. Everyday something new is getting cut off. Now my mom is selling pot to pay the […]
I don’t want my esophougus to rupture. Painfully suffocating to death on my own sick, jesus.
I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to think, I don’t want to feel, and so I eat, and sometimes I need to feel, to know I’m still alive even if it hurts, and so I eat. Then the shame of being such a fucked up, selfish, wasteful, ***** with no self-control opens up the endless black hole inside of me and I have to fill it (and empty it) again.
I don’t know if I can be helped, or even if I want it. I just know that I’m scared […]
your entire life your told your crazy, while the ***** telling you that you are, is beating you to death in your own pool of blood,slamming your head into walls, floors,edges of bunkbed frames,doors,beating you in your privit parts, waiting untill your in the bathroom sitting on the toilet then she walks in and beats you there,tells you that you are nothing every single day of your life, meets guys off the internet, within two weeks, she moves in with them, and you find out , that they are child melesters, and your worker and your teachers that you tell every day dont ever do […]
i realized ignorant people will only believe what they want to believe.only hear what they want to hear, and tell you how you feel when you dont even feel that way, tell you why you are doing something,when really thats not why you doing it at all,they say your arguing, when in reality,your just trying to explane your point, like they have been for the past hour, an a half,now, there is a difference between venting and complaining, i learned that it all depends on who you are talking to, someone that does not care about how bad you are hurting and whats going on […]