The corridors, of that black nightmare. When your soul was raped, in your death.
The sound of the devil, was the first line. In the background, a Mega Man. Shooting his blast, his color is blue. The music alters, I speak it’s colors. In the name of death, I seek for Mary, and the celestial. The child, that will teach humanity.
Mother. There used to be a cosmic warrior. The music suddenly turns so beautifully.
Saying the words “if.” Goddess, with her Trident. A base so that I may heal.
Like the celestial child of celibacy. Away from the apolypse. Gather our warriors.
Shepherd, the […]
Tag:
black
I am really feeling miserable. I have just divorced and found a gf whom I really
Love. She is so cute at times and sweet at times. But she is so self centre and thinks whatever she have done is right. She love to deny the facts and shout at me with serious attitude problem. Most upset is she like to be uncontactble, likes to hang the phone and likes to Mia when quarrel. I have some bad debts with me due to first marriage. I hope to have someone to enlighten me, I always burst out crying with the state I am in and […]
Le Bettle.
The Ancient.
Into the dust. Millenium, this rust.
The Sphinx, of the Atlantis. God.
In the shape of Dog. What such life.
Lucifer has you by the ball. The horn penetrates.
Into the world that makes no sense.
Battle-cry. Battle-cry. Warriors of Atomic Era, tally zero.
We have already lost the countdown, thousands and millions.
The Devil in the ass. Fuck you, ************.
FBI, save my ass. Be a good cop. Be a good man.
Be a good shepherd. The blue assistance is dead.
Holy… Getting fucked in the ass. You let yourself and your mother.
Hey, that’s not how I wanna end, the night; […]
Just how many times have I wanted to cry.
But somehow “it’s not manly to cry”.
And I’ve never really cared about this weird social norm, but now the tears just won’t come.
I am reaching but I fall
And the stars are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold
I’ll escape now from this world
From the world of my beloved
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on
My soul cries out in anguish every time I get backstabbed by the one I love most.
There is black hole that lives inside me.
It slowly takes away everything. It slowly got bigger and bigger and I feel emptier and emptier. I can feel it crushing my bones, pushing and squeezing my organs.
I don’t remember how I got infected or if it was always there. But now I am filled with emptiness. I know what happiness is, I understand it and I know I will never feel it. There is nothing in this world that I want or that could stop my black hole from devouring me.
I only remember a routine I am suppose to follow to fit in […]
I trust a girl with my heart and it’s broken as if nothing, I showed her my true colors and she turned them black and white once again what have I done to deserve this? Guess it’s what I get…I never was meant to live truly, there’s always something dragging me down and she has to make it worse all I want is to be worth something but I’m easily replaced, I can’t do this anymore I always plaster a fake smile hoping people will leave me alone, but she always has to come to me about mistakes I made, she said she can’t say […]
‘In the garden by the swing sits a
A little girl oblivious of the love
And and joy she brings
There are flowers all about her and
Birds that sweetly sing of the
Joys of tomorrow that a certain
Smile can bring’
There’s a pool deep with water from
Which sirens softness bring and
The pool’s cool and dark with
Golden fish and other things
There’s a rock by a fountain which
Quietly sprays the air and soothes
The very quietness that is spoiled by
Me being there
While she plays with her fingers and
Touches face and hair and is
Surprised by the roughness
And the burnt smell
In the air
Looking all about her at the sky devoid
Stars there […]
shall I do it soon or later? will you miss me when I’m gone or will you be pleased? tell me before its too late, I don’t get it no more will you build me up just to break me again like the old times? Am I a play thing to you because I’m your daughter I’m not like the others I’m different then her just because I grew up idolising her doesn’t mean i am her, it doesn’t mean I will be her it just means I looked up to her courage. I’m my own person now I’ve grew up a lot I’m not […]
I want to be more than what people think I’m going to become. I want exceed expectations. But who am I perspiring to be? Something more than what I am. Something meaningful, and careful yet carless enough to bring more than a strict happiness to those who may surround me. I want and hope for so many things that I’ve lost track of what that track is. And to be honest? I can’t because I am incapable of separating the two at this very moment. The truth and lies that is. Self pitty and feeling sorry for yourself is a terrible habit one can subject […]
Why can’t anyone hear me?
Why can’t anyone hear the screams?
Why can’t anyone hear my screams?
You were able to hear them.
You listened.
You shielded me from the pain
You saved me from the cold
You dawned on my world like the sun
But then you set
All suns set.
The stars aren’t bright enough in this black world
The screams are loud
Can you hear them?
They’re breaking a glass wall
A glass cage
The cage can’t hold the demon any longer.
The world will burn in the night
Or
I can plummet into the sea
Before I allow the world to burn.
Perhaps the cold water
Will stop the screams.
I began having severe depression at 12 years old due to achieving an erection everytime I stood up. That lasted for 8 years til I was 20. Depression worsened after 2 years and when I was 14 I started having suicidal thoughts but I kept them to myself. Â I had so many suicidal thoughts over the next decade, it has to total in the 100,000s. Â I dropped out of high school due to having no energy to continue.
I went to college many years later. I had constant suicidal thoughts, every building I saw I saw myself jumping off of. Sometimes with myself set on fire. […]
It was so quiet when the music stopped
So empty when the bottom dropped
So somber when the dreamers lay
Down to die, their heartstrings frayed
The waking hours became too real
No dreams to conjure up their zeal
And then the night, too, ceased to give
A single dream to help them live
It withered them like winter does
But coated them with soot and rust
It caked their lungs in deathly plaque
And left their souls a ghastly black
Oh how they would have sacrificed
To find and bring their dreams to life
A hope on which their eyes to fix
Like miracles […]
Our lies and Broken promises crossed paths
Tears and screams escaped our eyes
My love was something of nothing
a general mix of  a dream and  a reality
I let the blood drip, and My mouth water
but I did not cry aloud, for I did not need to be heard.
Thoughts, and thoughts, they fell ..but none of them, she caught
Fear surges throughout the air, the paranoia attaching to my past
She’s gone. i’m alone and the rope is tightening around my neck
Black and blue, unconscious and fine
I’ll remember, the times how you were all mine.
beautiful and sweet; wicked and cruel
It […]
It’s been a while since I came on here before yesterday, and my taste has changed and I can feel the zopiclone entering my brain right this moment so odds are I won’t be able to spell check. I was just looking for him. We never spoke much but I saw him around helping people and saying profound things and I really respected him and admired his impac
t. Is he still going? Is he alive? Umm.. wow, this stuff is more powerful than I remember. Shame I don’t get hallucinations. Anyway has anyone seen him? I miss him.
Dawg, if you’re reading this. We […]
I sat there
The silent consuming.
Upon the arrival
of the death.
Music playing quietly
Blood dripping down.
The darkness overcomes
And I submit.
Silence filled rooms
No more pain.
Nothing will hurt
Just the darkness.
The black abyss
And lonely me.
I wanted love
I gave love.
Deals are sealed
Death is now.
Goodbye my love
Stay on Earth.
We shall meet
One more time.
Goodbye my dear
Au revoir love.
You’re the one
That I loved.
And I’m saying
Goodbye…
I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]
what i just found out.. last night that ..
well like almost a month ago i got rapped.. by my used to be step dad. and then my neightbor was talking to my mom about it last night .
that he could have killed me..
if he didnt want anyone to find out about it.. it breaks my heart. for my mo to live in so much pain alone.. she still cant handle me getting rapped and then if he killed me ?.. my mom will be just left here alone. with no one helping her and her having nothing to do any more. my […]
a blinking cursor
a crying girl
a flickering screen
a dying heart
a white screen
a black background
a red blade
a clear tear
a silent cry
a loud scream
a hurt yell
a broken howl
a thinking mind
a scaring monster
a running person
a loving soul
a pale face
a pink cut
a blue wall
a dark spot
a violent whisper
a quiet scream
a hopeless word
a panicked voice
Are you ready to sell it?
How much do you think you can value your life for?
What if so called leaders did a blunder and sold earth for $xyz? —
Hence, I believe humans are stupid because they choose some humans as super humans and call them as leaders
What if newton show-up and say there is nothing called gravity and all 3 rules are bullshit. Same way as Stephen hawking did “all black-hole concept is wrong and there is new thing called grey-holes”
Therefore if you wait for other human to save you, your life worth zero.
How do I even begin to explain the way that I am feeling?
It’s a sense of emptiness;
A sense that you would care not to have.
I have no drive or motivation to do anything.
I’m sick of living the life that I have.
Sick of living in this body of mine.
I can’t seem to get out of this rut.
I can only wish that I were someone else.
Wish that I was happy, but doing that gets me nowhere.
I have no destination.
My future is unknown.
I just want to disappear.
I want to eliminate my life, but I’m scared of the unknown.
I just wish I had the desire to live and the […]
Older Posts