1. silly- kids used it to bunk school,gf/bf ditched, no money, not beautiful body, lost/no  job, not enough money, not enough talent,…etc.
2. realism-allowing thoughts that most people will not dare to because they are intense, conflicts with survival. Â existential nihilism, Lost passion to do something. All human thing look like a foolish.
Which category are you belong to?
I still remember the glint of your eyes, the vibration of your pale irises, the pinch of your cheeks as your transfiction deepens, god I remember it all. What you were staring at is lost to me, and the absence of such an essential detail carves the hollow caves of my heart even deeper. Your mouth is curved, poised to speak but frozen in the grasp of your captivation. What you meant to say is suspended on your tiny lips, like a bird furled in its cage, the door open but caught on its jutting wing, so close to being liberated yet restrained by itself. […]
Im sick of this pain after school ends i’m gone i’m finally going to do it… my body is deteriorating from not eating from the 7 ibuprofen i take when i get home from school and when people try and don’t you dare say its selfish i’ve tried and tried to make people listen but they all ignore me i’d rather be dead than to deal with this pain…I’m tired of the pain I can’t handle it anymore I’m sorry but this is goodbye
Im kinda hesitant in posting this… I was raped by my father when I was 7 years old. I still remember the blood that was everywhere after he finished his thrill… What kinda person does that to his little girl, over and over again? I am now 25 years old. and I cant seem to get over this… I literally feel like screaming all the time. I am trapped inside an adult body. All I can ever think about is suicide. I dont want to live with the memories of something so horrible.
My dad was a crackhead. He’d allow his drunk/ high GROWN men to […]
Spent far too long thinking about it, it must be time soon; I used to believe drowning was the way, I used to live by the sea; there were a couple of navigation buoys out across the bay with flashing red lights on them which were out of sync but would flash in unison occasionally, I spent a long time at night sitting on the pier watching them wishing I had the courage to jump into the cold inviting water and die. I’m not there now, in the city instead, suppose there’s the Thames but somehow it’s not the same, there’d be a crowd watching […]
The voice in my head now has a body. A very familiar body.
This pain is unnatural, a form of devious evil. It laughs with its twisted and corrupted face. Tears are trying to draw the pain away, create a smile – which fails.
Will I die soon, is it coming closer, will my heart give in to the pressure. Physical pain; please leave – set me free.
Remove my wings but let my worn out body breathe and ascend again.
Let my demise be painless, until you plunge me down.
Into the abyss.
Well I think I’ve finally reached that point.
I’ve been waiting and waiting for the chance to speak to you, to clear the air, to try and mend this broken thing you left.
The pain is utterly unbearable. It is consuming me, erasing anything that was left of who I am.
Now I am just pain and god it hurts so much and it just won’t stop.
I dread going to sleep because the dreams are so painful; in them you forgive me and we are happy again and it’s like I am made of air.
I dread waking up because the pain is instantaneous; […]
Alone with her thoughts
Alone in her room
Little did she know
Her story would end soon
No more sadness
No more pain
No more purging
To stop the gain
She sees her body
She hates each mark
Can’t stand the sight
So she lays in the dark
She cries in the night
And finds her blade
She thinks of every
Mistake she’s made
She begins to think
She’s better off dead
The thought of being
Rushes through her head
She grabbed some pills
And a small red cup
She wanted to fall asleep
And never wake up
Empty the bottle
Down each pill
Soon she will be
Forever still
She was sad to go
But it was for the best
She got what she wanted
Eternal rest
Me? Yeah i’m fine. If you consider a feeling like this “fine” a pain that is so dreadful crying doesn’t seem sad enough, a pain that makes your whole body shake, one that feels like its ripped half of your insides out, it makes you numb to the world, you feel as though nothing in this world is worth living i never knew a pain could be so unbearable, I mean i can stand most pain, but this…this is just horrible…I feel so alone all the time… I just want to be heard is all, but no one gives me that chance…and sometimes to […]
A couple years ago my life hit an all time low. I was emotionally shattered and the unrelenting world was closing in. I decided that I would take the step into the abyss. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the first thing I tried. I had tried to get help from friends but I quickly became an outcast. I planned to drown myself. That evening I went out to an old bridge and sat on the edge watching the sun go down. Once the top of the sun was out of sight I stood up and took a step forward. The moment I hit the […]
I have difficulties expressing myself through writing. so I’m just gonna do it like this.
– I panic inside my body cause I feel claustrophobic. My body aches all the time and I have a constant headache and chest ache.
= I. just. want. out.
– I have no interest in a future what so ever. I don’t want to study, meet new people or get married and have kids. I have not had a moment in years and years that I could feel happiness and joy.
– I am not interested in anything. No hobbies that can take my away from the pain just for a […]
they call teenagers/young adults pretty or handsome?
I went to work with my dad today as he got me an internship there, and many of his friends were commenting on how handsome I was. I felt flattered but as someone with body dysmorphic disorder, I couldn’t take any of them seriously. Is it something that you adults just say or do you actually mean it?
I’d like honest answers.. thanks.
“I loved you. I still do.” Tears run down her face and drop from her cheeks. She looks at the lifeless body, the closed eyes and takes one hand, as she used to. It feels cold and limp. “Do you remember as a child, when you came running towards me, jumped on my lap and gave me long hugs whenever I wasn’t feeling well? Now, when I need you the most, you are not even here to hold my hands.” Her voice was weak and she stuttered, but she knew he could hear her. It was then when she noticed how peaceful he looked, as […]
tomorrow is the day im hoping and dreading. i have another dr appointment, but it could be all or nothing. if im lucky he will find out what is wrong with my back and i will be cured both physically and mentally. if not then i have to tell my wife i cant adhere to my no self harm contract. seven years of back pain that causes immobility and prevemts me from being human is too much. i cant truly take care f myself and i am “smart” enough to know that i cant take care of any family i may have in the futue. […]
I watch, with dry eyes, as my freedom, my one true escape from despair, burns before me. The fire roars and crackles, spitting out white sparks wildly and furiously. I feel my eyes turn pink and my skin dry and tighten as the remaining happiness lifts from my body, like the heat rises from the flame. I try to grasp my freedom, and save it from the torturous fire but my fingers blister and burn with the slightest touch.
Why must this happen to us? Instead of being strong and fighting for my freedom, like the majority of others, I give up after the first […]
The deeper I cut,
The more I cut deep.
Deeper and deeper I cut.Â
The more I cut,
The more often I cut,
More and more I cut.
The more scars I have,
The more fresh cuts come,
More and more fresh cuts come.
When there’s not enough blood,
I cut deeper and more,
Deeper and more I cut.
When my cuts stop bleeding,
My head starts spinning,
Slowly, slowly I die.
My eyes see blurry,
My eyes see nothing,
Nothing, nothing I see.
I lie down on the floor,
On the hard cold floor,
Cold, cold is the floor.
My heart pumps fast,
Not long will it last,
Fast, fast my heart beats.
My body feels heavy,
And then it feels light,
Up to […]
Like a creature, my nails suddenly grown long.
Parasecting the crystal, the nug. Digging the inner.
I guess Parasect is my second pokemon, then.
I saw it in the manga, and it’s wizard mushroom cap.
How about that… The alchemist pokemon.
My dream, is to catch ….. Now, to take over the world.
Spiraling down. Down to the muk card. What of essence.
Oh, the humanity. What of, is this mankind. Who would of let, to become.
Ash would say, and the other heroes.
Tauros, of the silver bone. Evolved in dire sake, a bullet in it’s body.
The day; the stories. The fights. All there […]
I have now concluded the first chapter of my short, indecisive life. The gates to all the winding paths, that had once been closed off to me, have been destroyed and now just their ruins remain isolated in my memory.
Only my body has the power and strength to take me where I am destined to travel. My mind is forbidden to make any more choices. I will not let myself depend on anything but the simplicities of life and the natural beauty of the untouched and untainted wonders.
I now walk whatever path I happen to find myself on, without any pretentious guidance and […]
I feel like I’m falling back to my old habbits. The last weeks I started to take more and more control about eating and exercising. My life’s turning again about (not) eating and exercising and trying to hide it all. But I’m fine with it, because my life is a little bit more bearable now, and I have sometimes a little happy moment (if I lost some weight or had a good exercise). And I know it’s unhealthy and stuff, but it’s keeping me from suicide, so that’s a good thing, right? And I’m going to be more happy with my body. I love the […]
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