Why be so rash and impulsive? Because as hard as emotion can be it can also be what drives us to soaring heights and selfless, pure love. What’s the point in acting until the uncertainty and fears are unveiled and reconciled: the choice presents itself with a little time. Patience leads to places and feelings never fathomed possible. Cast off recklessness with a stronger force of commitment and certainty.
I’m here. I’m with a man that I love, but idk how much he loves me. I’m still here, but he needs me for work. I know he could do it by himself, but it’s easier with two, and he wouldn’t have to pay a helper/assistant. Sometimes he acts like he really loves me. Sometimes he’s a monster. Says I have alot of making up to do. I was a horrible drunk for our first year together, so now I have to suffer. We haven’t had sex in over a year. This blows my mind. He’s amazing in that way, but now we […]
Hi there. This is my first post. I joined a weeks or so ago to try and help others. I’ve tried to help people all my life. Seems to be the only thing that gets me through. I wasn’t really going to make a post, but tonight I feel like I should. Not really sure if it’s a rant, or what it really is. Just need to say some things.
I’ve been depressed a lot of my life. Seems just haven’t always seemed right. I wouldn’t say it was severe, but it’s definitely been there. I was in a 10 year relationship since I was 13 […]
Three times. Three failures. Twice. I will explain.
This is not only the third time I have raised a loaded gun to my head. It is also the third time in the last 3 weeks that I was ready only to back out.
First things first.
The first time, back in June 2012, it was purely impulsive. No plan, no thinking. I was faced with an impossible choice. Either give her up or give up everything else. This will be the common theme in my suicidal journey. Someone trying to take her away from me. Obviously I chose her.
The second time, January of this […]
At night time when I’m laying awake in bed I hear voices, I know they’re in my head but they aren’t like normal thoughts; they sound real and alive like someone’s speaking to me. It makes me confused thinking about it because they’re always right but they’re never things I’d personally say to myself or even think in my head. Most of the time they’re negative things, comments on my personality or how I look and act. Other times it’s like they’re trying to make me think that someone’s done something horrible or that I should do something horrible.
I guess I’m just overly confused about […]
When you express your will to die, all we get in response is the common “Dont do that you have so much to live for ” :It will get better” “There are people who love you” but I gunna say this plainly. It’s our choice, dont try to stop us….it’s our free will. “When things come falling down, we’ll do what we want to” -sws
Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I was given a choice: go back and make one change in the most critical moment, or just do nothing and be in the same position I am now?
For me that critical moment was actually a series of tiny interconnected moments. Our friendship escalated to flirtation. At first just innocent, then mischievous, then naughty, and in the end serious.
What if I could go to that exact moment when we decided to cross the line? Would I back out now, knowing what I know? Knowing that I have lost everything, including my will to live?
But if […]
Dear love, I’m honestly scared. Your voice is everywhere. Are you there? I am not ready for this. There’s so much about you, love, I miss. Do you know that I’m lost? And you left me here on my own. Songs live on but I’m dancing alone. Where is my lullaby? Sometimes I forget you’re gone. You’re all I have, known for so long.
It seems so unfair but the sun still shines and the waves still crash and the wind still blows. I will carry on, what choice do I have?
Why it seems that I’m begging for love? In everywhere, family, friends, even myself. And I still do not get any. Do I have to beg more? Am I ever going to receive some? From someone? Am I going to loved someday? How? When? From who? I just don’t know. Like I said in the last post, I’m reaching to an end, I’m having so much break downs, there’s so much pain, loneliness literally is killing me. But I’m such a coward to make something to change it. I hate myself. I humiliate myself trying to find love where it’s obvious That I’ll never gonna […]
I’m an angry fuck for good reason (I think) !!! For every bad week there is a good day coming. Between that and my kids I keep the barrel out of my mouth, but the choice is there!!!
ive lost them all pushed away all of the friends i had left
the shit thing is i couldnt stop it
i had only two choices fuck over my friends or attempt to pay for something with money i dont have
ive told them i dont want to do this and ive tried to put it off for as long as possible
they say they understand but theyre not paying
they dont realise they have less choice in this than i do
It’s hopeless. I’m going to fail and lose everything. I don’t want to go through this, but I don’t have a choice, and failing is inevitable. I just want to get away.
Like most people here I have reached the end of my rope. My world is crashing around me and I cant hold on anymore. In the past year I have lost everything about myself. I look in the mirror and I don’t even know who the person staring back is. I have gotten so good at pretending that everything is ok and that I don’t cry when I am alone. The thoughts of suicide that use to be few and far in between have now taken a permanent residence in my head.
I saw the signs and yet I ignored them. There is no one to […]
I feel so many people abandon me… Thinking I want attention, but ever day I feel a little bit more certain to make the choice to kill myself . many people say….”you still have me” but they are never there for there word or me
I think it’s time to go and die. well I had good times in this life but my last 2 years were like hell and I just want to die and release all the pressure that I feel . I know this is the wrong choice but the only one. actually I want to suicide just to tell them my pain I don’t want to die. wish me good luck and I love you all and thank you very much
I have argued against the idea of rational suicide in the past but lately… I have been thinking – I am completely rational, not really depressed or in a PTSD mode and I have thought that suicide is the best option, most sensible really and probably the better way to leave this world… By my hand, my choice. Don’t worry my date isn’t for awhile now. What do you think about suicide can it ever be a rational completely sane choice?
My mind won’t focus on anything but suicide. Everyday I envision the multiple easy ways I could end it. I don’t only think about them, I visualize them. Like mini hallucinations. I’m terrified of what my brain is doing to me. Should I check myself in somewhere?
Anyone who says suicide is a choice is full of shit. Suicide is a battle, one you only hope you’ll survive.
All advice is welcome, and yes, I’m medicated.
Hello my name is Jeff black, the truth is people have the right to do what they want to and freedom comes at a price,
anyway well I have changed my mind on how I feel, it comes to my attenstion that’s life isn’t worth chucking away,
to be honist, things happen to people that make us wake up some times, to I still think people have the right end their end own exsitence if they want to yes, but that doesn’t mean that happiness is impossible to find,sometimes it can be found when we least expect it,
anyway good luck to people on this […]
Hi people.
It’s great to know that there are people that feel just as shitty as I do. I have a more personal blog where I rant about how I keep delaying “The Grand Event” and how there is always some tad of hope I have in humanity. Life,though always makes me regret even being conceived to begin with. I’ve been looking for a method to leave fast and painless I cut,but I’m not cutting to deep.
I know you understand me.Being a 20 year old female, South African.I don’t have much support of this side.My only way is out.
Here is one of my blog entries in […]