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Trying

by thetwilightzone33

I have dealt with chronic depression and severe anxiety for years.  I also have two neurological conditions, fibromyalgia and narcolepsy which give me horrible pain when I’m awake and horrible nightmares when I’m asleep.  I feel very alone and there’s a voice in my head who says that it’s not worth it.  I have pain pills in my bathroom and I know a handful of them would make all the problems go away, but I don’t take them.  My mom lost two out of seven kids plus her husband and I don’t think she would take me dying well.  I am not living for me anymore but for my family members and the voice gets louder and louder, particularly like now when it’s late and I’m the only one awake.  I have survived childhood abuse and rape and the death of loved ones but I think my mind is giving out.  It’s easy to fight the evils of the world but it’s so hard to fight your own demons.

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Sam 4/21/2013 - 7:41 am

This is exactly like my moms story, Besides she used drugs all her life. I don’t think people deserve so much pain my moms fibromyalgia leaves her stuck in bed all day. Doctors won’t help her because they think she’s drug seeking she’s been clean for 5 years now. The world is cold. I also suffer from severe anxiety and depression. I’m sorry you were raped and abused I was too. this story makes me sad because I don’t think anyone deserves so much pain and suffering. I hope you feel better soon.

loss_of_objectivity 4/21/2013 - 10:57 am

I feel for You. Hang in there, things will get better. *virtual hug*
Seek help and try to find something to do for Yourself. You are not Your conditions-illnesses nor are You just a part of Your family.

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