My suicide plan is to get right with God so I can have at least a little chance of making into heaven, then hang myself or Carbon Monoxide poisoning. The latter seems like the least painful way of doing it but it takes a while and sometimes isn’t even done correctly. I’m fact, I don’t even care if it hurts, I’ve suffered so much hurt on this earth that all this will seem like is another pinch. My week of getting right with God starts today. And if I get any shitty comments like “Suicide sends you to hell” you and I will have a […]
My disappointment has now boiled down to an unending hate towards everyone. I sincerely hate everyone around me, of course including me. People around seem to give me so much pseudo comfort that I’ve grown tired of it. So what if I am miserable?My brother’s friends’ girlfriend exclaimed to my brother ” Oh your poor sister!She must have been so depressed. Hasn’t passed that exam for these many years.” I don’t even know that ***** in person and she’s around giving butt hurt comments about me. This should pretty much sum up how judgmental are the people who exist in the […]
I want a painless way to die. I don’t want comments telling me to rethink and that everything will be fine. Just give me a few painless ways to die please.
…and the people who frequent it, the drifters, the lurkers, the class-clowns, the drama queens, and everyone in-between. I may not post much, but I read, or at least skim over, most of the posts here. Why do I find what depressed and suicidal people have to say so fascinating? Ugh, idk man. Probably because I’m crazy too. Whatever the case may be, SP has been a weird sort of bastion for me, so I thought I’d throw this out there.
Here’s to Shep, the Kiwi of many names, inspiring many a pondering and many a laugh with thought-provoking posts and witty comments alike. Introduced […]
I used to weigh 120 pounds…now I weigh 200 pounds…I gained all that weight in less than a year…My fiance had just recently come into money and I guess you could say “we lived the good life”…since then I’ve had nothing but hate for myself.. I take forever to get ready because none of my clothes fit me and I hate to look at myself…now it’s constantly the center of my fiance and I’s arguments..he just doesn’t seem to understand my pain…I used to get comments like of your pregnant? And oh wow why didn’t you say anything(about being pregnant)…and I wasn’t…the sad part is, […]
I like a lot of things about this site but the one thing I like is that there is a lot of compassion and understanding but also honesty. I think that if you post your thoughts, expect to get real thoughts in return. If you can’t accept honest feedback… and maybe I’m just totally losing it now since I will die next week but I find it funny that someone deletes another person’s comment to their post but then comments on the deleted comment.
Just then, a sound.
The sound of shattering glass swished through the open door frame, berating my eardrums and bringing me out of my trance. I turned my gaze upward as I shifted my orientation, just in time to hear another shattering sound as bits of the bathroom mirror fell from its frame and into the sink.
Before I could even think, I was on my feet and running towards the door. Because I knew pain, and I knew what he’d do to himself.
I shouted his name; no answer.
I shouted it again, my fists frantically pounding against the door. The shattering stopped, and I heard a light […]
how do I know when there are comments on threads I commented on or threads I have started.. even if I click subscribe I don’t get anything… is there a place on this site I can see it all
my mind is racing with all kinds of negative thoughts. therapy is getting hard and heavy. been feeling physically sick with the stress. i am in a very fragile state. been stirring up the shit in therapy and something big is lurking just below the surface. i don’t know what it is but i can cry at the drop of the hat. i am supposed to be trying hypnosis but at the moment it terrifies me. i am scared . something momentous is going to happen and no one outside of therapy knows it. i am withdrawing from family/friends because i just don’t want to […]
Tomorrow will be my last day here. I Have purchased all my supplies for the Helium bag method. Thank you all for your posts and comments. The information on this site has been very helpful. I am not terminally ill but I have ruined my life. I have hurt everything that I loved in this world. I am ready to leave so I can stop hurting those I love. I have two young children and a beautiful wife, all of which I have hurt. Good Bye
I only know what day of the week it is because it says it on my iPad. I’ve sat in the same chair all day long for the last couple weeks, only moving to use the bathroom, shower, or sleep. My only forays out into the world consist of the five minutes to the corner store for smokes. No one calls. No one wonders what I’m up to. No one cares if I’m still alive. I come on SP to find people who identify with me, but in truth, I find I don’t identify. I feel like I just post random comments that no one […]
So tomorrow (US time, the 3rd) is my birthday… this morning i received a notification from what i have dubbed “the SP birthday bot.”
SP birthday bot claimed the “honor” of “drawing first blood” on birthday wishes.
The irony is potent.
Imagine… a person trapped in a life they wish had never occurred, who has frequented a suicide-centric website for over a year… receives a BIRTHDAY wish, from this site’s computer program (“bot”), prior to anyone else who has ever known me (aside from my mom and the older of my two half-sisters, with both of whom i share a domicile).
The first entity outside my residence, to mention […]
Hello all, this is my 6th entry from my journal (wrote this a while ago, just stumbled across it again actually)
As always, comments appreciated
Ok, so GW is in fact LL, but the reason for that is not as malevolent as many may seem. I was in the hospital for 1, 5 weeks and after felt somehow weird to start writing you guys again with LL. Felt as I had no energy to start writing and talking again; somehow wanted to forget the former self of mine – the sick one. And I guess I thought I’ll die soon anyways so what’s the point, even though many cared about my well-being and destiny. Very selfish of course, but I’m starting to be mentally very unstable knowing my disease and […]
My friend decided to ruin my life by telling everyone I sent nudes and that I stalk my best guy friend. I’m bullied at school by the popular girls who were once my friends. Someone made up a rumor I called one of the fat And now they harass me sending me pictures of how mad they are at me to my Instagram DM. People on my ask.fm leave comments like “how’s your ass so big?” And “are you staying back? You should you cock sucking whore.” Me and my friends were being silly and dancing in our underwear around my room and I didn’t […]
I am, or at the very least I feel like, the personification of a rather unfortunate or miserable concept.
The lonely romantic, the darkest corner of an existence, personified.
I, being a potential paradox invoked unnaturally upon the world, would naturally fall privy to this bleak state.
I feel as if I don’t belong, like I never was meant to be, in this world. And the world senses my foreign nature, and it tries to exorcise me from itself; not unlike our bodies attacking and destroying an infection.
It can be a slow and grueling process, but most of the time, the world ends up the victor.
As always, comments […]
I have been plagued by reality since I was still a kid…
I am a Broomhilda,in a world that loves Diana’s…
Short, broad, and dieting since I was 12.
I was a goodyear blimp at 10 and I nearly died from the pain then.
I kept thinking that things would get better.
That I could overcome biology. That if I just tried hard enough I would’t be the fat chick.
Starving myself to death on and off for decades has changed nothing.
I’m still 75 lbs over weight. Still limited by this to nothing and no one.
Still dying inside everyday.
Nothing I do changes the reality I face. The you are so pretty […]
By now you might have seen on the Internet the story of one “Jeremy Meeks” who has recently gained a reputation as “Hot Felon.” He has been the center of much attention after his mugshot was released showing what many consider to be a very attractive face. The purpose of my writing here is not to take a shot at Mr. Meeks. I hope that he will receive whatever punishment his crimes are due, certainly that he should repay his thefts, and other than that I have no concern towards him. It is what this man’s story has revealed so clearly about our deranged and unjust society, which I take interest in. My blood does […]
About 3 weeks ago I said that I was going to kill myself. Well, I am alive now. At least for a little while longer, I am seeing a Psychiatrist and now she’s the only person who seems to listen after my best friend passed away and I don’t just want professional help, I want people REAL PEOPLE I can talk to. So for those who wanted me to write to, I will write to you and for those who want me to write to you, comment on this post. I didn’t really read any of your comments until today when I got back online.
So […]
I’ve tried to kill myself about .. 7 times. I’ve tried hanging.. Ended up blacking out and waking up to Demond’s and evil thing coming after me. I’ve overdosed 3 times. That ended with throwing up water and sleepless nights with ringing ears and sweaty palms. I was recently in a psychiatric hospital. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe depression. They put me on 3 different medications.. But I don’t take them. They make me foggy. I feel like people can read my thoughts and control them. I hear a man talking to me all the time. His name is 6. He leaves mean […]