36…and wishing I died at 13

Hi I’m Rachel aged 30 (well practically). When we poor suckers are conceived we are dealt a hand and sometimes that hand is cruel. Sometimes it is barbaric. And sometimes it is something we will never be able to control such as our DNA. You were probably hard-wired in your DNA to be “the fat chick” as you called yourself. I know that it is not fair. I myself am hard wired in my DNA to be chubby I am a chubby little dwarf. You think you got it bad…..

But before I tell you about me, I will tell you that those super skinny girls need to come off their high horse. We’ve all seen many of them gorging themselves on food and it’s just that many of them, in their DNA, are programmed to be twigs. I have a relative and a friend, both ladies and both on the quite heavy side, and neither of them ever eats much. In fact I hardly ever see these ladies eat and yet they are heavy-set. It’s in the genes, girl. We can only control a certain extent.

Nobody knows more about life’s inherent unfairness than me. I was born only “part-formed” so to speak and of all the areas that could have been most severely affected, my face was hit the worst of all. There simply is not much bone structure to my face and there simply has never been anything I can do about it. I have to live my life trying to do things that don’t have anything to do with physical appearance or stamina like sewing. I do have to endure the cruelty from others in fact just a couple days ago I walked past a group of pretty girls in the street (a dreaded occasion to walk past a group of such people) and I think one of them looked at me and made out only one word “hideous.” This is the normal response. What can I say? I just have to remind myself every day that it is not my fault and not my responsibility for the way that I look, and that those nice-looking girls likewise did nothing special to be that way. It’s a roll of the dice, I rolled a one and they a six.