I know I want to do it. I’m 22 , graduating college- everything seems ok. But I recently lost two jobs. I have battled with depression for years, and some of the horrible things that happened to me in my past are starting to show up in my head. I cant make freinds and I literaly sit at home and cry all day. I am in so much pain. I understand completley that killing myself is the only answer. But how do I get the courage to do it ? Part of me is scared of the consequence I guess. […]
Tag:
Consequence
I am everything that I can be
So let this all just end for me
I’ve said my piece and played my part
And it’s set in stone; I’m faint of heart
This world grows crueler as each day dawns
Brutal and fit for kings not pawns
I am not one among that class
And I have not the will to last
I’m tired of this pain and hurt
And have no delusions of self worth
Regardless of the future pain
I wish not to wake again
I am of no consequence
No sung hero of grand event
Just this sorry bag of meat
Who finds living too […]
So, here it goes: I’m a failure. I didn’t pass one freaking exam this semester.
Consequence: I get my money cut off. So now I won’t have money for cigarettes, coffee, an occasional night out – pretty much all the little things that were keeping me alive.
I can’t kill myself yet. My mom is not strong enough to be able to take it yet. So that will have to wait for a little bit – no matter how much I wish I could do it now.
Solution: Get a Job. So I’m leaving in a little bit to try and go get job at the casino – […]
The SP House
Chapter 1: Paradise Lost
Looking out into the horizon, the sun slowly disappeared, it’s warm embrace being replaced by the cool, quiet moon. The sky, once blue and vast, changed to orange, red and purple and then to black, then allowing the stars to shine through. Looking down, she saw the foggy depths of the abyss, but the familiar sound of waves crashing could be heard. Down there, one could fall and die after splattering among jagged rocks, or even survive and end up in the water, just to wash up on shore and try to get back home tired and groggy. And disappointed…
Those […]
When everyone’s gone. When all is said and done. And you’re sitting all alone. Sorry in your pity, miserable in sorrow. You find you’re at a loss with no one to talk to but your disenchanted shadow. A has been of your former self. You’ve burnt the.bridge, wrecked the road, and torched the path. Signed yourself to hell. Damnation in consequence of all you never were. Take myself away from here. Hoping to be happier. Some day soon i’ll find myself. The question is will i get to live or die? Im guessing only time will tell.
I’m feeling so much right now that I am unable to express it. I’ve always been like this. Words cannot describe the feeling inside my soul. I still go on but I am also stuck.
I really see no reason to go on. I do but without reason and filled with nothing. Empty. I have trouble validating anything exists. If it exists then what is my reason for living? To work wearing women’s outfits though in my soul I am a male? To hide my true self …what’s left of it? I don’t want to be apart of a plan if there isn’t one. […]
I love my life.
The thought has crossed my mind way more than once. Its sad how I have no one to talk to about this. Even my own family. They would judge me. I have gotten close to killing my self but in the end I don’t have enough strength to pull through. And I am not sure if that is a sign or just me being scared. I feel alone, unwanted, forgotten. I was a mistake. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t born. My life is a living hell. With school and family I don’t know how to pull through. My family is falling apart […]
Yes, it’s official, I couldn’t jump and now I have to face the consequence that I might be stuck here until I die of natural causes. How the he’ll am I going to do that?
I’ve told noone about my latest attempt but I had two ‘friends’ with me at the time and as I was standing on the edge they………
Walked away.
I don’t know why I didn’t take the opportunity to end it then and there, though I was worried it wasn’t high enough but there aren’t any higher structures that I can get to.
Time for another google ‘suicide methods’ search I think.
help
Hi.
I’m 23, I’ve been suicidal since I was 11. I don’t really know how it feels not to be depressed, I guess. Being this way has been its own vicious cycle. When I’m sad, I drive away the people I love. When I drive away the people I love, I feel worse. Then there is the other stuff, you know, letting people down just by being disappointing. Letting myself down too. I hate myself. I like to think that if suddenly some person came along and loved me unconditionally, it’d change things, but I know that isn’t true. I know what I am supposed to […]
No one can imagine that so positive-minded I’ve always been would choose to end !
When the cash flow of mine was nearing the critical time, it was hard to bear knowing that my brother wanted the last piece of my property, my shelter from the rain, to be sold to him at three-fifth of the actual value, and my wife also hated me to death awaiting to claim the same last piece. My choice then was to leave this house to my wife who is with my beloved daughter who can then also harvest the share afterall. So, on 2010-7-26, late night, I attempted […]