“Step one you say we need to talk,
he walks, you say sit down it’s just a talk,
He smiles politely back at you,
You stare politely right on through”
If only they would listen…
If only I could go back in time, to that night. Cherry. She jumped off the roof of a hospital. She drank until she found courage to swallow those pills. Called the cops on herself. That is what amazes me the most. Why had she called the cops? Why? If she was just going to go and jump off that building? I just want to go back in time, know […]
Tag:
Courage
On one of the hottest days of August in the year of 1971, a fair Pitty Sweet made her red-carpet entrance into the world. The stories of a difficult birth were told for years, but one thing that was often mentioned was that young Pitty was born quite round.
Survey said she was so round that she could easily roll down the hill to the very bottom on her very own. Her mother insisted on red frilly dresses, but her grandmother not caring for the colour red, put brown dresses on her all almost every single day, and if anyone looked twice they might mistake […]
I dont want you to know my name. everyone says ‘ you know my name, not my story’ and i want this to be the other way round.
So my mum and my dad split up when i was a baby, things were fine then when i was 11 i stopped talking to my dad. he said some stuff, and i got upset, anyway, we dont talk anymore. So thats that, and then when i was 14 my mum got this new boyfriend. i just dont like him, i dont know why, maybe its because theres ten years between them, i dont know. hes very […]
Ive felt like killing myself for so long now. I thought I was fine for a little bit but what do ya know…. I’m back. I hate almost everything. No one answers or talks to me. My dad is all the time asking and saying hurtful things “you have any friends son?” “you gay or something?!” “when you gonna get a girl friend?” just things of the sort and it dosnt help at all. My brother used to call me adopted when I was little. I know he was kidding and just being how a lot of big brothers are. But I really wish I […]
my job finishes at 6pm, but now it’s 9pm and I’m at my desk still
not cause I’m working, just because I don’t know where to go or what to do
The person I want to be with is happy and contented with someone else
My life is rich on the commercial exterior, and hollow and empty within
i just walk the stage, empty and meaningless, wondering if I can get the courage to finally punctate this rambling and meaningless venture with a truly final punctuation point
I find a perverse companionship in reading all the posts here… Â all our little miseries swept up together and piled neatly in a […]
Living is suffering for me. I know some would say that I should feel like I have a great life. But they are only saying that because of my material objects.
They don’t know that I stay up late at night, crying because I have to hide so much of myself. My family is Christians, and they make fun of gays. It’s so hard due to the fact that I am a bisexual atheist. And it’s not like I have the courage to just tell them.
I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been depressed, but I noticed some notes of mine dating back to […]
link:Â http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTXeg-Swq9w
Whenever I feel like killing myself I listen to this track! Give it a shot! I think (at least the true old school) hip hop helps rechanneling the negative energy elsewhere. I listen to a lot of it; I think the main problem today is that the world is just downright unfucking fair and people should be killed but not us the sensitive common people; it”s those fuckers on the top of the chains that are abusive exploitative bastards, literally starving their people to death!!!! and that has to be changed. also they’re forcing on us an image that we just can’t identify with, an […]
I’m one of those people that like to pay attention to detail, so natrually I found everything wrong about myself. I’d lie awake at night thinking about all the things I might have done wrong that day and saying to myself “God, you’re an idoit” Whenever someone complimented me, I always thought “they’re just saying that to spare my feelings, they don’t really like me” And i’ll admit, I’m pretty fucked up in the head.
Self harming, or cutting. What a concept man, I love it. Nothing feels better then thinking you can just cut away all these imperfections. And thats what I did. And it […]
I want to cut desperately.
I want to feel, to control my own pain.
I’m alone truly alone. I don’t feel anything anymore. Nothing makes me sad or happy anymore. Nothing’s funny. Everything’s just empty, blank.
I cut myself a couple weeks ago with a razor it was an honest accident. I loved the pain I got from it though. For the first time in a while I could feel. For the first time I was in control of my own pain. I felt something other than emotional bullshit.
I ache for that feeling again but I can’t bring myself to do it. I seat […]
There is a universal truth that we all have to face, whether we want to or not, everything eventually ends.
As much as I’ve looked forward to this day in my life, I’ve always hated endings.
The last day of summer, the final chapter of a really good book, or parting ways with a really good friend.
But endings are inevitable, they are a part of life that we will never be able to shake. Leaves begin to fall, you close your book, and you say goodbye.
Today, for us, is an ending. It’s the last day of high school, the last chapter in a part of our story […]
I’m 35. Work as a mental health professional. It’s strange but all these years suicide was never something I ever contemplated in the slightest. I’ve never really been depressed. I don’t think I’m clinically depressed at the moment. Maybe burnt out and not in the best mood but by no means depressed.
Over the last few months I’ve realized that the decisions that I made to move to a new country have come with with a rash of problems that while not catastrophic have caused incredible stress, heartache, homesickness and problems advancing my career. I’m getting a feeling that some of these problems may well have […]
Ok my teacher went on a rant on how suicide is for selfish cowards. And I don’t understand how she can say this, yes its a bit selfish but I think its more selfish to make someone live when they have so much happens to them and they have been strong for so long don’t they understand there is only so far you can bend before you snap? Also how can they say its for cowards they have never had to pick up the blade, tie the knot, gag on the pills. They don’t know how much courage it takes to end your life to have the […]
**pardon my lack of grammar and editing but i just don’t give enough of a damn.**
I’m only fifteen.
I have spent my tiny little life feeling like I’m on the outside of everything looking in on it.
Do you know the feeling, like you are the only one who realizes just how fucked up everything is? I do and i feel that way every day. All the rich white people at my overly socially competitive high school, my family life, society, the way our world works, life, they all seem like a circus act to me. i feel like almost every person on earth sees life as a fluffy cake with sweet pink […]
Today was even worse I have this overwhelming desire not to live anymore. I passed a wreck I even stopped to see if everything was okay.. I got back in my car and cried because I wasnt the one who died in the wreck! I would gladly take the place of the other person.. I cry everyday more today then usual.. No one would care if I died my family would only be worried about their perfert image and what people would say about there daughter killin herself. My funeral would be filled with not close friends and a happy family but with people who […]
I’m done. There’s nothing I want more than to die. This isn’t an impulsive decision; I’ve thought long and hard about it and it is really what I want. The problem is that I don’t know how. I’m too afraid to try because I’m afraid it would fail. I need a foolproof, quick, easy way. Something easily accessible. I live alone and don’t leave home, I’m dependent on my mother for almost everything. I can’t exactly ask her to go out and buy a suicide bag for me. I need something I can do by myself. I hate that physician-assisted euthanasia is illegal. I’m not asking how […]
I doubt anyone would take a look at this. But I have no one else to turn to. I have screwed up my life so tremendously, I feel that I have no other choice but to kill myself. My boyfriend, the one whom I love more than life itself, saw that I was texting my ex. I was just texting him to see how he was doing, but my bf had told me explicitly that he didn’t want me talking to him. Now he is calling me a liar and that I’m going to regret ever lying to him. I don’t know what he’s going […]
My best friend. Gone. Then my courage allows it back. We were non influenced teens. He fell in with a different Crowd and started liking different things. This wasn’t so bad but we drifted more and more over time. I got the balls to come out and say what was up. Then I’m told that his newer friend introduced him to a girl, he lost his v card, she fucked around with his head and he slipped into depression. With which his friend got him to smoke weed… Though you wouldn’t think it from the outside, knowing him for so long I wouldn’t believe these […]
I want to die.
I have a gun but refuse to use it on myself because it’s only a .22 and I might survive. If I had anything bigger, I probably wouldn’t be here typing this. I really wish I had that gun, today I found out the girl I REALLY like and that I have been flirting with for the last month has a serious boyfriend, I can never get a girlfriend and I don’t know why. Shit like this always happens.
My family sucks too. I have nobody to talk to and nobody cares. I have […]
where do i begin? i don’t even care. i have no one. no purpose. no friends. sure i have pseudo-friends. but not one that would bother be inconvenienced to alter their precious life to help me. so i am alone. perpetually. look, i don’t even bother with capital letters anymore. i don’t expect anyone to even read this so what’s the use anyway? i wish it would end. i haven’t the courage to end things myself. so i just wish for it and cry. i wish i had a real sickness. cancer. something. i almost think at times that then people would notice. but then […]
Hey, guys. I’ve decided to try and become happy..so I have this poem thing for school. What do you think? Should I give this to my teacher? Let me know ASAP please?
Out in the distance,
I don’t know what lies.
A beautiful scene,
Or a dark surprise.
The part which I know,
Is that I can grow,
Out of these thoughts,
Which now I am caught.
I feel the same inside,
As I did before I felt the need to hide.
I hid behind a fake smile,
Which no-one knew all the while.
Now I am ready to get past the past,
Because I have the courage at […]