I’ve never really seen the point of self harm, but a few days ago, I started biting my hand to take my mind off things. I could concentrate on the pain instead of worrying. It just occurred to me today that what I was doing was self harm. I never bite hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave a red mark by the end of the day, and I can’t seem to stop. I know I should stop, but I don’t know how. I don’t want to be a burden on my friend anymore. He helped me when I was recovering from […]
My wrist lifelessly dangled off the edge of the porcelain tub; a stream of red tracing the lines on my hand. A pool of crimson waited below. The bath water looked like a distilled merlot. I lay silently, salty tears racing down my face. My mascara sat idly under my eyes tired of running. With the little will I had left, I turned my head to look at the self inflicted mutilations. The word “ Help†was carved into my soft, white, flesh. Under that, “Save ME†screamed for some attention, fresh blood still dripping down from the bottom of the E. My head jolted […]
Hey,
So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.
I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]
I was trying to take apart a shaving razor for so long to get the blades out to cut with, and I finally got it apart! Cutting with them felt so nice. I’m still contemplating wether I should cut really deep and bleed out or cut deep on the vein…
I have both antifreeze and OxyContin that I am able to use. Will the two together work? And if so will it be quick?  Any knowledge is greatly appreciated  Thanks.
On some days I wished I never starting self-harming, but on other days I wished I never stopped
 I know my mother doesn’t have any interest in me at all. I can leave the house for hours without telling her and she doesn’t even notice. It’s lonely here. Everyone wants their mother to love them the way a conventional mother does. For some reason unknown to me she won’t. So I assume it’s because she doesn’t like my face, the way I talk or anything negative I can find in my me. I’m starting to believe maybe I don’t deserve to be loved by […]
My name is Denise.
I am 17 years old.
I am a junior.
This is my story and the events that led me here.
I was born and raised in Texas. Honestly, I’ve been depressed as far back as I can remember. Sure I laughed and played like anyone else as a child, but there was a darkness I could feel consuming me as I grew up. When I progressed into middle school that’s when I began to let the darkness in. I was bullied.  I met girls who cut. And so I started to cut too. It felt good. I cut […]
So I am going to start this out from the other day Friday i think, so my mom and i were in lowes getting stuff that she wanted i guess. So were walking and she points to in front of her and goes “i bet you are in heaven”.. I am pretty sure you know what is in lowes.. So i look what shes pointing at and its blades and box cutters.. I laughed to make it not look like i didn’t have tears coming out of my eyes.. That was so messed up. Then this morning she looks at me when im cleaning my […]
Living is like cutting a steak with a baseball bat…It is not easy.
Ever since I was five my family and I have been hit with some bad karma. It all started when my dad went to jail for forty years. He got a year for every time he raped my sister. When he went to jail my mom got a boyfriend immediately. He was really nice for a year. Then he asked my mom to marry him. We were all very happy for them. Except my dad refused to divorce my mom. Which i am very grateful for or we would still be in that hell hole. When she started dating him she started doing cocaine with […]
after months of trying not to, remembering my old methods and giving in is nothing short of wonderful
i feel like i can breathe a little more when my arms are stinging
i feel euphoricÂ
but these little slices are nothing compare to how i used to gush
i am tempted
Time for sleep
Lets rest our head
And look at the new cuts that bled
Time to sleep a certain way
So the burning goes away
The next day we wear our sleeves long
To hide the scars and cuts
When one gets touched you wince in pain
Hiding the fact it hurts
So no one acts worried
Later the one you love see’s the cuts..
They plead for you to stop
You promise to try
But with all the stress you break it
Then read the Cutters Lullaby
The cycle starts again
I am one of those people who feel good when I cut and injure myself. I have done this for many years and have Gotten so good at hiding it. I can’t stop doing it. It’s
Like I need it to feel. I just don’t cut anymore, I now slice my flesh off. I know I’m not alone doing this type of thing to my self but I bet I have been doing it longer than most on here. Lol
I have cut myself many times. I have tried to stop cuz my friends told me to, but i cant cuz i love to see the blood come out. I want to stop but i feel like i am addicted…. Plz tell me what to do.
So last week, I’ve been cutting free, didn’t cut for a week (meanwhile I did relapsed several times since tuesday). It wasn’t my intention to stop cutting or so, but it just happened. I just didn’t cut for a week, because I didn’t had the energy for it. I was so depressed, I ate almost nothing, slept a lot, but I was really tired, and I felt so miserable, that I was too depressed to pick up that blade and go cut myself. So I didn’t for a week. Although I didn’t cut, I did scrathed myself (which looks horrible now) and I starved myself. […]
I wish I wasn’t so tired all the time. I just want to go perminately to sleep.
I can’t stop the need to kill myself. The only relief I get is cutting, and now I want to strip the flesh from my body so I can try feel at piece. I would like a time when I don’t have death on my mind and have a time of piece without killing myself.
i feel like im drowning in my own thoughts. they suck me down further and further and i cant avoid it. i lost a close friend today and dont know if i can get him back. even though i pushed him away. he told the guy i was talking to the stuff i told him about the guy i like. he came to one of my classes today and i told him to leave. he tweeted that he was crying and i physically feel like my heart is breaking. i drown in more thoughts and i dont know what to do. i ruin everything i […]
If you were to meet me you’d think I was happy and carefree. But that is nothing near the truth, I cut, I cry and repeat. I have thought about suicide but like I said I dont have it that bad, but i have it bad enough. I don’t think I’d ever go through with it but I wish I would and or could. I do have good friend and a great family. But I don’t get if i have all this why do i want to die. It woud be so easy, I have planned it out and everything. But i wont do it […]
Ever get a feeling that builds and builds till you give in to it? My vice is cutting myself. I just have to do it, partially because I need to. It helps me feel something. The deeper I cut, the more I bleed, the better I feel. One day I will cut to deep and bleed out till I die. I can’t wait.