rope, beam, stool, sits in a cardboard box, so a friend committed suicide by hanging, wife found him strangled on a beam located in master bedroom, been thinking about doing similar thing except its just me in the garage, my dad died when i was young, thats when i learned the true meaning of death, meaning your not coming back. told friends “hey i want to kill myself” in junior high, and high school, they looked at me weird yet it didn’t hit me as weird to do so. even my teachers noticed in my writing while doing essays in class. then i realized maybe […]
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Dad
One of you contacted me by email yesterday. Kiss off.
AND FOR THE SINCERE AMONG US,some council.
When I took Accounting 101, I asked the instructor about cooking the books. His reply was, if he told me how it was done, he’d be instructing me in the commission of a crime, which is a crime itself. It wouldn’t matter if I ever committed the crime either. So, he couldn’t tell me about those things.
The study of cooking the books is called forensic accounting, it’s high lever class’s, and they certainly do teach students all about it. The legalese is you are learning how to recognize it.
Cops only […]
Honestly. I have such a broken heart, even if I’m 13. Who the fuck cares? I can’t feel loss at “such a young age”?? You try living my life, see what YOU think this is. I’m not weak. I was weak once. But I grew up. That’s right. 8 years old. My grandpa died, I had to grow up. Within 5 minutes, I was completely mature. I had to be. My grandma just lost it. I had to take care of my little sister. Of course, I was barking orders, but I had to. I pushed the feelings down. I was a drill sergeant for […]
So, I stumbled upon this site from Google. I haven’t been very depressed recently, and actually, my life has somewhat improved. It still is hard, but I would like to share my experience with you all.
I was 9 years old, and it was the summer after 3rd grade.
I had been raised by a loving, Catholic family, and went to a Catholic school. In my eyes, the world was a lovely place, and there was no other place I’d rather be. I had one best friend who I spent every day with. To me, everyone believed in God, because who wouldn’t?
My perfect vision of the […]
   As I’ve spoken about in previous posts, I’ve had depression, anxiety and paranoid delusions for most of my life and it’s not easy to live with, especially the depression.
    For me, at 11 years old it began with a deep sadness that just never seemed to lift. It spiralled pretty quickly and I began to spend an awful lot of time alone in my bedroom. I felt as though I was the loneliest person in the world because nobody could really relate to what I was feeling. The thing that got to me most was that some people would say things like, “you’re […]
i guess you can say lifes unfair. yes it is. very. my dad was tooken away from me faster than i could blink my eyes. my world turned grey since then, everything sucks. life is just horrible. i hate my life i hate it
Im excited.
No, really I am.
I’m going to Miami in a couple of days. It’s for my dad’s work and my cousins wedding. I’m going to see me family. im going to get out of this cold weather. Im going to see my cousin have the best day of her life.
Buuut, I’m also going to have to wear a swimsuit.
And, see my grandmas face fall when I walk in.
She doesnt like me that much. I’ve heard her say so. She doesnt approve of my “lifestyle”. She says Im a slutty, skater, who has no self control. I’m also a mess, bad example, and a future druggie.
Thanks […]
My name is Emily and this is my story. July 29,2011, 3 month anniversary with my boyfriend Ian. My best friends Mia, Maria, & planned to go to a Rangewide and meet our boyfriends there to hang out. We went, our boyfriends never showed up. No big deal, girl time. Well, the dance got boring and I told Mia and Maria I was gonna go hang out with Ian. I told them to call me later to meet up again. I got to my boyfriends house to find him very drunk, his brother had a party. I put him to bed and we cuddled and […]
As a child growing up, my dad used to hit me and my brother. Alot. Hard as well. Whenever he got pissed, he would take anything he could find, pipes, sticks, even rulers. Then, he would tie us up and beat us. Sometimes, he would even take us out to a place to leave us there. But in the end, we always forgave him. Cuz he was our dad. After a while, he stopped beating us. But then, my uncle started taking an interest in me. I was 7 when he first molested me. It went on for 5 years. Somewhere in those 5 years, […]
Oh . my. fucking. god.
Long story short, I had a father who abused my mother, i would protect her causing me to get beat instead of her which was totally fine with me, as long as she wasnt hurt. one day he went too far, and she FINALLY -thank god- divorced the beast. that was around 3 years ago, and we haven’t kept in contact, (me and my father) . But my birthday, was around a month ago, and he sent presents for the very first time, whoopee. a fucking month late. cheers dad. not only that, but he sent me clothes, all in […]
So I haven’t cut in a while. But I had a bad day today and I really, really want to. My parents are trying to help me, but they won’t listen. It’s just question after question. I can’t go to my mom or my dad because neither of them handle stress well, and this would stress them out. Â I want to cry, but I’m too upset to even cry right now. I want things to get better. I miss promises being true. Every time I get a promise now, though, it’s broken. And it hurts. Â I’ve had so many guys that I really, really liked […]
   Something that I’ve learned recently is that when somebody very close to you passes away, the process of grieving that we human go through never really goes away and it can come back at any moment and smack you down hard.
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    On July 24th 2008, the day after my 23rd birthday, my dad was diagnosed with ‘Small Cell Lung Cancer’ and it was devastating to my family. He’d had a pain in his shoulder and when he had gone to the doctors they suspected pneumonia. With the confirmation of cancer, he was told they could not cure it but could prolong his […]
How can everything hurt so much while at the same time I feel so numb?
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll be gone soon (not soon enough, but whatever).
I’ve come to terms that I’m a failure, that I have no purpose, no future, no anything.
I’ve accepted all that.
I’m a disappointment to everyone, not even my parents believe in me anymore. Thanks for that.
My dad asked me today : “When you think of your future, what colour do you see?” I wanted to scream “BLACK, FUCKING BLACK, THE MOST DARK BLACK YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!” But I didn’t. I got away from the question, […]
I don’t understand why I’m here anymore. No one wants me around, so what’s the point?
It all started when I was 2 years old. My dad was an alcoholic. He used to put his hands on me and beat me for crying, talking or playing loudly. This continued for years. When I was 13, my dad let his friend pay him to rape me, and he did. A few weeks later, another friend did tried to do the same, only I got him to stop.
I began to cut myself. My father’s drinking problem got worse. My dad began cheating on my mother with her sister that […]
So, Im new on here and I’m not sure how to start this, but i guess ill just get to it.
My Life is like a Lifetime movie.
The reason I started cutting was because of my friend, Andrew. He was literally my bestfriend…. and I kinda had a crush on him. I knew that he had problems in his life, but dont we all? Yeah, I feel like a total ***** now.
Anyways, his family life was worse than I knew. I found this out when I walked to his house. I knew his parents weren’t home(they never were) because his dad was a jackass who, for all […]
So, here it goes: I’m a failure. I didn’t pass one freaking exam this semester.
Consequence: I get my money cut off. So now I won’t have money for cigarettes, coffee, an occasional night out – pretty much all the little things that were keeping me alive.
I can’t kill myself yet. My mom is not strong enough to be able to take it yet. So that will have to wait for a little bit – no matter how much I wish I could do it now.
Solution: Get a Job. So I’m leaving in a little bit to try and go get job at the casino – […]
I wrote this poem the other night. I was hurting so bad, I wish I could kill myself. I have kids though, and I don’t have anyone to take care of them if I did. They are the only reason I am still here walking on this earth. I can’t figure out what exactly is wrong with me. I don’t have any friends anymore. I used to but i found out that none of them really liked me, and were talking behind my back. I have had this happen with anyone I have ever been friends with. it hurts so bad. I have been through […]
Hey there. My name is Stephanie.
I’ve lived a life basically filled with nothing but pain all my life, but it all really started when I was 9. I was born in Florida and lived there for six years of my life. My dad works for the government so I’ve moved multiple times in my life, and if you’ve moved a lot like me you know how hard it is. How hard it is to keep starting over from scratch, it’s even worse when you end up right back where you were before. When I was 6, i moved to Maryland outside of Washington DC. I […]
I do not want this. I want to be somewhere else. I understood I can’t deal with love. I can’t love, I can’t love the way you do. The way I love is: I live him/her, that means I should leave him/her alone so that person can be happy. When I feel the “I want to be with you” love it’s pretty weird, because all I want is just run away, I feel like I want to throw up.
My doubts have been confirmed; my dad is an alcoholic. He’s as depressed as I am, and he wants this back to normal. I miss being a […]
Jake walked alone after school that day. He walked in silence, his footsteps made no noise against the wet pavement. The sun was blocked out overhead, and the rain began to fall again. Jake didn’t care, he didn’t have anywhere to go anyway, if he went home he would probably get beat by his dad. He didn’t want to become like his dad. An abusive drunk, who was never sober at home. He wanted to be like his uncle. He wanted to go to college and become an engineer. he wanted to go somewhere in life and get out of this city of hell. All […]