My name is Jadaen, I’m 14 and I’ve attempted suicide three times. I’ve been bullied since the age of 6 because of my weight and how ugly I am. Im in the 9th grade and I have 2 “friends”. I’ve been beat up to the point where I’ve needed to go to the hospital for a broken rib and a concussion. My teachers don’t do anything about it. I’ve self harmed for 3 years now and my parents called me an attention seeking ***** because they found out about it. The first time I attempted suicide was when I was 11, I had swallowed 5 […]
I had a rough life since the day I was born i’ve been attempting to overcome hardships one after another after another with no break in between. I had my heart broken not once but twice by the same jerk of a guy. I had lost hope stopped believing in the possibility of anything good. Recently I realized, I forgive my ex and have truly let him go and all the feelings with him. That’s not to say that the memories are gone or that there isn’t pain, because there still is. I do want to love someone and be loved by someone a healthier […]
I found this site while searching for ways to make suicide appear to be accidental. At first I thought it was a place for methods, but after reading other people’s stories, I figured it couldn’t really hurt to share my situation, just to see if getting it out there will help me out any.
I married the love of my life a little under two weeks ago. We’ve lived together for almost two years now, so he knows how bad my depression gets. I feel terrible because I’m always hurting him. He can tell when I’m sad, and he doesn’t understand why I won’t tell him […]
Age 11 found out life really isn’t that great,
Age 12 ran away from a rape,
Age 13 became less bright and cute,
Age 14 tried my very fist zoot,
Age 15 started drinking and became wild,
Age 16 got pregnant and lost my first child,
Age 17 tried to turn my life around,
Age 18 here I am soon to be buried deep into the ground.
No child should have to go through this, this is what leads to self-harm and suicide and worst of all depression.
I am reborn into the self I always knew I was deep down. I have shed all of my hang ups. I am no longer pitifully socially anxious. I can talk to anyone and am totally free of mental torment. I have always been good at public speaking actually, even at my most anxious.
I am over-educated and have no desire to go to any more classes. I need to start teaching.
How, where, and about what are the only questions that remain.
Just sharing this, no replies are required.
I am not certain what to type here.
A few years ago these tendencies, these thoughts, would feel foreign to me. To put it mildly, life was pretty good. I had a significant other who wanted to marry me, I was a straight A college student, and I had a broad pick of graduate programs to further my degree.
Now?
Enter the cliche story; she left me for a friend, college ended into a dead end midnight job, and graduate school did not work out. After diving in the deep end into jobs just to stay afloat for the past year, I am now left jobless(at 26), and I had […]
I hate my life.
I hate my life because I am too stressed. I have been pouring over textbooks my whole life and I have been judge by my peers many many times. I can tell you ,any educational facts, but I cannot tell you the value of security and/or kindness. I can tell you many people have attempted to take their lives because of school. I can tell you that mistakes are viewed as failures in many hallways. A wrong answer is a sin you must atone to, not a human error, but a flaw so grand it defines your life course. When I get […]
“Little girl messed up inside
Wished that she had wings to fly
Away from sadness
Away from pain
Away from all the things they said
But when the darkness comes at night
She tears down the walls inside
Little girl messed up inside
Told me there are reasons why
She takes the blade into her skin
Killing demons deep within
But when the sunlight sets to rise
Still she wishes she could die
Little girl messed up inside
Cries and pleads, asking why
Some just die without their will
But some can’t even settle, stay still
Without the urge to end it all
Only wanting to […]
There was this girl who was once happy and glad,
She had everything going for her,
Then thats when it happened,
Now she just sits at home,
Paying no heed to her friends and family,
She thought she was hiding it well,
But everyone knew her hell,
Every night she fell asleep with tears in her eyes and blood dripping down her arms.
She once had everything going for her,
Then it happened,
She could no longer feel the love,
Or the joy,
That was always surrounding her,
She only knew the pain,
And sorrow,
That is in her,
She never smiles,
Never laughs,
Not […]
“Rot; S.O.S. Nebula, To Lugia”
These beats are so deep like you
I am, I forget the next line
I am such dead and it so hurts
Can you be, can you know
The ultimate, the multiple
All in the arcane, so dark
I go to become, the crazy Machamp
Weezing, Muk, and Arbork
Green, can you be a Victreebel
But you are, Bulbasaur
Or are you something else
I want to be a Hitmonlee, headless
Doing my Kung-Fu to the death
Strange, shattered and the feeble
Do I bust a triple
Indeed I go to go die
For me to die from the chain
I need the power, mythical bird
In my rotting blood destroy […]
Mid 20s, female. I wanted to go to grad school but my GPA is a bit below 3 so I feel like that decimates my chances. My degree is useless without going to grad school. I feel like a failure. I struggled with depression and weight my last year which made me lose my good GPA I have worked to lose 100 lb but I am still unhappy inside. Been on meds all my life but the depression is still there, deep down. I’ve always thought about the possibility of killing myself in a painless way. Death has fascinated me since I was 5.
I […]
Playstation, deep devastation
Manifestation, a true hell
Do you know what the darkness
The book, the story, supreme chain
The age and a child, blood of binary
My deteriorating rotting flesh
Sacred asphyxiation, spiritual cruxifiction
I wear a mask and I’m a goddamned pirate
The clay in the face, need to detoxify
Back seven years and purist in the sun
Who are you, what if you were I
Me, now, my unfathomable cape of suffer
Eternal, fated, I’m here to save the world
Can I burn a fire and you be the dynamite
Can I roll out tonight, in my white robe
Down under, gate thirteen
I feel that the world should pay and those i envy should feel my pain. Why cant i be like him, he is beautiful fits in and finds friends anywhere. I lock myself away from the world my soul it hollows every day. When i feel pain it makes me feel alive again, oh what i would do to feel joy and to be alive. I wish we could trade places but then i dont wish this feeling on anyone to everyone. Sometimes i want to go out on a bang so my message could be hurd unlike every other suicide that is forgotten. Other […]
After he left me, I turned upside down. I thought sleeping with guys would help me forget him, maybe i actually thought the guy i was with would actually love me, but that was all a joke. It would never be love, it was all lust. That’s all it is now adays is lust, maybe for a second i honestly thought i had feelings for these guys. Now, sex isn’t pleasurable.. i just want it to be done with when i have it. Maybe i thought i could honestly numb out the feelings for him with other guys, because alcohol wasn’t working with me, smoking […]
Technology can be fantastic for meeting new people, and sometimes you meet the right ones. I got to. I met the man I would’ve grown old with through a stupid website then through a dumb app designed for sending nudes and talking to strangers. I don’t understand why such a fantastic man was put into my life just to be taken out of it. Thanks to Technology, I had to find out he died from a message. Not a call, not in person the day he died. No, several months later when his mother finally found my contact information. I don’t know the date of […]
I’m not the person I once was…I’m not the person I had hoped to be..
My mornings are filled with sadness and fear and tears.. every morning when I drive to work, I get the same choked feeling, only now it starts before I leave the house..
My life is empty.. it’s bitter and it’s hopeless.. I’m not the hero I’ve tried so hard to be, in fact now I’m even less than nothing..
I’ve closed off from people in my life.. when I would do anything for some attention then, now I just sit by myself and cry..
I cant eat.. I’m afraid to […]
When I talk about “Disease, I don’t mean mental. I just turned 32 years old. Back in May I was diagnosed with stage 3b cervical cancer which has a very poor prognosis. I get my PET scan results this month. If the cancer has spread or comes back, I’ll be terminal, so I either have a choice to prolong my life with drugs until I ultimately pass, or take my own life. My family and friends support my decision to take my life if things do not look good.
I do not want to die. I want to live. My life has been very hard and […]
After seven months- I relapsed on alcohol. My professors have told me that I’m not committed and won’t get a job despite my A’s and being on the Dean’s list. I cried all day yesterday, I can’t take it. So much pressure, I had stopped thinking of suicide when I entered a university because I felt like finally I found something that makes me happy. Finally I’m doing something to take away the thoughts. And now I’ve been fucking terrible at every little thing and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to feel anymore and I […]
I m In Love With Him 1 year ago. now in between we are in love deeply love but today suddenly i see that one girl in he’s whatsapp profile i dont know whos she, i ask to him whos she??. but he says i dont knw what u say i knw see that pic in my phone i don’t know any girl also say that he check friends phone but that picture is see only in ur phone . i don’t believe in that . I love him very Much i cant live without him please help me what can i do in this […]
So recently I met someone. were officially dating and well its nice. He calms me and keeps me grounded, but i still feel like I’m going to drown, part of me feels as if i have to go, as if even if things get better, my mind and soul has chosen, and that my year is almost up. I haven’t shared with him my plans to go, i doubt i ever will. I hate how everyone thinks that he has managed to fix me already, i seriously don’t see how you can fix me. You cant fix monsters.
anyway, here’s a short story since i haven’t […]