I’m writing this because I’m thinking of doing something bad. I’ve tried to commit twice before, obviously they both failed. Tonight everything has gone downhill. I have no one to talk to or no where to turn. Everyone has turned against me even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I just wish I could merge with the ground and disappear. It would make so many people happier. I’m a failure that can’t do anything right and I wish I could be a better person. I’m just a lost cause. I’m crying into my laptop right now and I’m confused as hell. Why does everything and everyone […]
I don’t remember being happy, ever. Since I was 11 years old I’ve been thinking of running away from my so-called home. When I turned 12 I had my first suicidal thought. Since I turned 15 I’ve been attempting suicide every two years. I am 22 now and I just attempted suicide yesterday, but failed as usual.
It doesn’t change, it never will. My life has been nothing but a series of unfortunate events. I hate myself, I hate my life, but I don’t hate life. I wanna live a life, but not mine. I wish that one day I open my eyes and look in the mirror […]
Blood: mine and everyone else’s. It becomes an obsession. I love to see it. The very thing that keeps us alive. Available in large or small quantities. In small portions it can be a necessity, yet deadly to someone else! And in large it can drain you of the essence of life. It oozes from a cut as a throbbing life form becoming free. Entering the real world and clinging hopelessly to the skin only to be brushed off and thrust into a hostile environment. Drying and dying, the blood and its gift of live wither away into a dark, hard shell of its former […]
Let me apologize ahead for mispelled words and punctuation im not really caring about that shit and hope know one i know sees. Im also sorry if i upset anyone….k so im going to kinda just say how i ended up the way i am today. I was in shelter with my mother when i was born, my father was horrible to my mother he beat her cheated on her gave her chlamydia while pregnate with me. My mother chose to stay because i think she loved him and maybe was also scared to leave and be with me all on her own she had […]
life is boring , boring life. why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Marvel / Marvels, Avengers, X-Men, Divergent / Insurgent , Star Wars, The […]
Is a black needle that fills your veins with numb nothingness
okay, so i was just writing a post that gave everyone all the information that could possibly need and then some about any reason I may have for feeling blue. I had to stop myself mid way because I realized it wasn’t even helping me out. I was boring myself! Instead, what I am going to try to do here is just blurt it all out. Say what I’m feeling, maybe add a reason or two, and then move on to the next whatever comes to mind. I’m hoping this does at least a little something for someone if not for me.
3………………3………………….2………………………………….2……………………………………2……………………………..1…………..GO!
worthless. I […]
My life has slowly come to a stand still. I am stuck, my depression has taken over and I feel like no one loves me anymore. I have had so many people tell me that love is love, but what if there was no love in the first place? I’m tired of falling apart everyday, I am sick of suffering. I don’t want to be here anymore so what is the point. My family tries their best to understand me and relate but it doesn’t work. I have pushed them away and now they are angry. I am not sure why, but I bet it […]
I’m 14, and I like to write, and dye my hair. Then there’s play video games, watch movies, chat online with my.. friends. I like lots of things. Then there’s my blades, the only thing I seem to look forward to; my birthday is in 9 days, and all I can think about is concealing my cuts; just like Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Summer break.. It’s all the same day in and day out.
“Can they see them?”
I’m terrified, I really am, having to hide things from my family, it eats at you. It’s a good thing I left school.. Right? I mean, no teachers, no homework, no […]
So I’ll start of by saying that I’m an 18 year old college student. The reason I’m posting on here is that I’m hoping to obtain some secondary opinions to help me better understand whatever it is that I’m going through.
So ever since I can remember I’ve always had a very rational, apathetic mindset. In saying this I don’t mean that I’m cold, emotionless, blah, etc.. I mean that for lack of better words I’ve always felt pretty dead on the inside. I can easily explain this away as depression and I’m sure I can come up with a few life events to justify depression […]
I’ve been depressed for quite a while now and I’ve been fighting it for far too long. Hurting myself is not helping anymore and I’m just getting worse. I just need someone to tell me the best way to ensure death. Please this is not a cry for help, I’m just really too tired to live.
If you were supposedly being fooled by everyone around you and only you were the one that was gawked at? What would you do if you felt as though your every thought, feeling, written or spoken statement, action, and the like were all being not just recorded by thouse trying to hurt you but judged as well? How is it that you would deal with the fact that at not quite 40 years old, you feel worn down, exhausted, used up, and spent? If you felt like your entire exsistance was spent on a completely uphill journey at full steam ahead and you were just […]
my mind really meant to me. I spent the majority of my teen and adolecent years concerned with how I looked, what I wore, who I spent time with and so on. My educaiton was never a really huge concern of mine (although I did care if I was able to get the higher marks on my sudies along with my peers) but I did okay as far as all of that went. Even into my 20’s I wasn’t as concerned with what I knew as much as I was with what I was doing at the time.
Now, here I am in my late […]
Does the depression or the results of the depression hurt more?
Does the cut or the fact that I can’t hold hands hurt more?
Does death or the hole caused by death hurt more?
I have OCD, depression, and a fear of weight. For a girl in a christian home, that is the stupidest thing ever. I feel so ungrateful when I think about why I am the way I am, but I can’t change, and I don’t want to. I will be like this forever… or as long as I live.
![oh to be her: confident with her body and herself to [...]
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Has any completed or started doing ECT? (Electroconvulsive Therapy )
I’m pretty much giving up on the “normal” forms of treatment. I know 15 different meds and 15 different psychiatrists might not seem like a lot to some people on here but I feel I have already suffered enough as a result of those treatment options.
At this point if I do go back to “normal” treatments I have a list of antidepressants I cannot take based off of genetic testing and I will absolutely refuse to take a mood stabilizer again because if I do take one I’ll probably be dead withing 2 weeks […]
lately my mental health hasn’t been too well.
i feel like i’m wearing a mask.
i am the happy and energetic person with my friends, but when i get home it’s like i’m a totally different person.
i always feel so unhappy and i feel like there’s something missing.
it took me a lot of courage to actually type this out.
i’ve started self-harming
i’m surprised no one has noticed all the scratches on my wrist, but i’ve been trying to hide it.
i’ve gone from scratching myself with fingers and biting myself
to pazors and compass points
but i want something more
i want to cut, but
i don’t want to see the blood
see all […]
May 21, 2013 was the first time I self-harmed. I was a freshman in high school, and the final grades of the year were coming out soon. My mom was furious that I had 3 F’s, but it was just because I missed school from being sick. I had gone to my classes and got all 3 grades changed to an A earlier in the day, but she didn’t let me talk, so I couldn’t tell her. My mom didn’t want to yell at me in front of her mom who was living with us, so she took me outside to the porch and started […]
ok so this is my first post here i found it when looking up how to overdose on sleep pills and im hoping i can get help. You will have to excuse my writing sometimes im really bad at spelling and gramer nd all that. A little about me im 17 and i live in a small town ive been one very depression med my doctor can think of since in was in 8 grade now im a jounior and in the begining they work but now they dont. Here in this last 2 weeks my mood has gone down majorly… every day i think […]
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]