I don’t even know.
I’m just tired.
All these mixed feelings.
Stress? Not sure.
Depression? Of course.
Sadness? Well yeah.
Happiness? Doubt it.
Tag:
Depression
Hi I’m a 15-year-old girl and was very suicidal nearly the whole last year but I got over it and I want to tell my story to help those people who feel like I did some time ago.
It all started at primary school with some guys in my class bullying me. The bullying went on for almost 10 years in every class and school I went to because some of that bullies always where in the same class. Over that long time I became very insecure and also depressed. Depression really started when I was 12 or 13 and I started cutting and burning myself […]
God is boring . boring God . why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ? why God is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?
I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]
Today has been worse than the last few weeks combined.
I texted with the closest thing I have to a friend today, and he gave me a very hard time about how I am feeling. He seems to think that I am selfish for being depressed, as if I chose it as a vocation. I have been very sad/sleepy/out of it for a couple of days, so I wasn’t very responsive to messages. We aren’t in the same state (let alone city), so it is usually just little back and forths. Never too pressing. Not as though we would be making plans or something.
Either way, he […]
Why isn’t there a way to pause life and take some time to actually breathe? I’ve begged my mom so many times if i could stay home for just one day to take a break from it all, but she just laughed and said that i cant just pause life when i feel like it. She doesn’t see that everything is weighing down on me, each day is worse. these thoughts pile on top of me, making it to where its impossible not to notice them. I used to be able to block them out and act like they’re not there, they were […]
I stayed home from school again today, that makes 18 missed days for the year. I don’t think I’m allowed to miss any more or else the school will take us to court. I’ll probably still miss more anyway.
I have exams for my college courses this week, and I honestly could not possibly care less about my grades. I’m not going to college, anyway. I probably won’t even make it to my high school graduation.
Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve known about my final for my creative writing class. It’s a short story that has to be a minimum of 25 pages, double-spaced. This […]
This is my first time posting anything here, so I feel like I should introduce myself a bit. My name is Rae. I’m transgender, my preferred pronouns are his/him. I’m asexual and aromantic. I write sometimes, draw even less. I read a lot, though. I was going to go to college for psychology and philosophy, but I probably won’t make it that far. My favorite colors are white, gold, red, and black, in that order. I really love flowers and reptiles and am constantly torn between the two. Alright, this is just turning into me babbling about myself, but whatever.
Anyway, I found this site and […]
Why is it that everyday for the last 17 months I have prayed that I will die in my sleep? Why do I hope that I would get cancer and pass quickly? Die in a single car accident? I would have been long gone by now if I wasn’t such a coward. I am sick of hearing that it will get better. Its been 17 months already and I am too tired to keep up the fight. The pain only gets worse with each passing day. I have spoke with counselors at the VA and that hasn’t helped. Zoloft hasn’t helped. I have spent countless […]
Everything blurs past in a haze. I’m not thinking straight, I’m barely thinking at all. Tears come to my eyes at the strangest of times. These rushes of sadness and loneliness are almost unbearable. When people ask why I’m crying I can’t explain, they’d never understand even if I could explain. People simply assume I’m looking for attention which of course I’m not and of course it also leads me into a deeper darker place. This is the point where the suicidal thoughts start to take over. I walk to a quiet place away from everyone. I smoke, but it’s not enough. That’s when I […]
Can someone please help me end this? This is ridiculous.
For me to have the strength to end it all, i would have to have some motivation. If I had any motivation to do anything, I would cling to it. I would survive.
At this very moment, though, I only have the precious remnants of it. I’m drunk, so there’s some dopamine or some other shit in my system letting me be enough of a human to write this. Letting me be a man. A man which is strong enough to send a hopeless and desperate cry for help.
I work 50 hours a week and I give […]
i always thought this was an interesting aspect what did everyone do on what they thought was going to be there last day on earth ?
i got up early, went to school, hung out with all my friends, came home,ate my favourite take away, cleaned my room, showered, wrote a note, took a handful of pills and went to sleep. unfortunately it obviously didnt work and i woke up in the middle of the night in severe pain regretting what i had done
This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]
wouldnt it be a shame if I were to stop my asthma medication?
Wouldnt it be a shame to just stop all medication and let things take their course?
But then there’s the constant argument… Would it be suicide because I know what will happen? Or will it be merely an intentional accident because I don’t know when it’s going to happen?
I guess it’s the uncertainty in that argument that’s the only thing holding me back.
It really says something when thoughts about life and the future makes you want to cringe, but when it comes to thoughts of death or sleeping for an eternity make you smile 🙂 .
Ive been thinking, all of us (or at least the majority) on here don’t want to be here… With the living. But what if we did end it? What if we did end our lives by whatever means… Who have we left behind?
Now im sure a decent amount of you are thinking “I would be leaving no one behind” which is fair enough. But those of us who have family and / or friends… I just can’t help but wonder, what if we were to be the very thing that started the journey to someone else’s self-annihilation?
Wondering starting to date again… I like one girl more then the others she is cute and sweet. She is originally from the country that I moved too 6 years ago. But also lived in the east and southern of Europe.
She is 8 years older then me. I don’t mind. I actually quite like it as I would like children and I think she would want them too. I wonder though if it is a wise step.. in the longer run for my happiness if that path were to happen….
we click really well so I do not really for see problems in that […]
For all of my teenage years, I’ve been bullied, hated and downright depressed.
I am 19 now and have already lost all reasons for me to be on this planet. The only thing that was giving me any sense of purpose left me a couple of days ago, my girlfriend. However, this feeling has been going on for a much longer time. Only now do I wish I was killed by something.
So here I am walking around simply not caring if I were to be alive tomorrow or not. I have no job, I had been fired from my last one with no reason at all, […]
This isn’t exactly a story about an attempted suicide or a failed suicide attempt. I have not experiences none of them but I’m in current fear that I might e sharing my own story of a failed attempt soon – or not.
I have never been diagnosed with depression but I started to self harm 2 years ago. I stopped last year because I told my family (a stupid mistake if I have to be honest) but sine November, I began to feel a bit bad and sad and yeah. By January, I had written that I was suicidal and that I hated life.
I mean, I […]
I am a seventeen year old in my third year of high school. I go to a therapeutic high school, but my attendance is pretty erratic due to my depression, anxiety, mood disorder NOS, insomnia, and sensory issues. I fit the tortured poet cliche. I am recognized for my poetry regionally, which I cherish because it seems to be my only accomplishment in life. I am quite useless in every other endeavor (though I do have a talent for making up decent drinking songs).
I have been struggling with mental illness since the age of ten, though I was only diagnosed when I was twelve. Since […]
It’s dark.
Real dark.
Some strapped in corners not because they aren’t doing anything, but because they can’t. Some in corners because they really just aren’t doing anything too.
But that’s okay. Don’t you dare feel bad.
Depression does that and it’s completely normal.
It did to me.
You can get depressed about anything at anytime.
There’s no time limit when dealing with depression.
5 years or 50 years. At the end of the day, depression still wins. So if you feel guilty of being depressed about something, for who knows how long, that’s okay. It’s okay.
It kind of stays with you even when you’re better. But […]