I never quite know how to start these things, before I explain I have to say that I feel awful about the way I feel when there are people going through worse. I can’t control my feelings of upset and depression and I don’t quite know where they have come from and how they’ve escalated to me feeling so suicidal, I have a family, a few friends and a boyfriend, for the past 2 years I have struggled with agoraphobia and people not understanding saying I’m being over the top etc. I have no support from anywhere and I feel like I’m going through all […]
Tag:
Depression
I recently read a post from a person feeling deep depression for a major part of his or her life and feeling that God is removed from involvement in her life. Â I have done a great amount of soul searching in understanding this as well. Â I have discovered through the death of my brother from his suicide a firmer understanding of God and his complete involvement into our lives. Â I recently discovered in my need to understand that I was not listening. Â I have been reading the bible where Jesus is witnessing to his followers disciples that they need not fear the ruler of this […]
be straight up I suppose…. My names Serena , I’m in 7th grade at Bemidji Middle School , I have a smile on my face most of the time(= , but everybody knows im ‘depressed’ , because …. I cut myself , a lot… my legs , my arms , my wrists , my stomach…. It make’s me feel better. I don’t know what else to do! , I ALWAYS get called a ; HOE , WHORE , **** , ***** , FAT , UGLY , WORTHLESS , ATTENTION WHORE , DUMB , BOYFRIEND STEALER , etc.. It sucks , a lot , I don’t […]
ok, i have something on my mind. And I know that other people have it much worse, but I’m just gonna say my story.
My life is not bad. I don’t know where my depression started. But it did. And it won’t go away. I just feel like the biggest misfit. I cut and starve myself. I have to admit, its mainly for attention. It’s not working though. I don’t know whats wrong with me. I can barely think anymore, my thoughts are so mixed up. Everything hurts. I hurt everyone I care about. People think I’m a freak. They have a right to, because I […]
People always talk about how they have to ‘put on a fake smile’ and fool everyone, but it’s so hard to do that. I can’t. How can you smile when the crushing weight of depression is burying you? Most of the time I’m lost in my thoughts; they’re drowning me. I’m in my own little world of self-hate and despair. I look out the window and I can see the beauty, but I can’t feel it. The snow is flurrying right now, little trinkets of white raining down on the blanket of glistening snow that already fell. The trees are dead and bare, stripped of […]
I am a 29 year old male. I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. I have attempted suicide several times, I chose to believe that perhaps there was a reason why I survived. As if there a purpose to my existence. However at this point I have abandoned that frail belief and have chosen to give up completely. I can not remember most of my past, the memories are there but they have become so faded and blurry I can no longer distinguish the realities of my past with the vibrant thoughts of my once over active imagination.
The first attempt […]
I wish i could be a good daughter. I have just troubled my parents. they both are old and sick, and i do nothing for them. if my mom cries before me, i cant wipe her tears i cant even talk to her nicely. I always yell at her and my dad. my dad’s sick too but i never lend him a hand at anything. i cant get myself to do that. ill sit in my room and keep thinking i should be doing it but i cant get myself up to do it. still they are very nice they never say anything bad to […]
Well I’m not sure where to start with this post . . .
I feel rather blank for a while. I’m hardly doing any of my school work and have been failing for a while, that’s probably the worst. I’m a bit uncertain of my social situation you see I really only have two friends who I still hang out with sort of often, but for a while now their interest in video games have dissipated, something im still very into. I still have fun with them but as they get more social and, despite their encouragement, really have lost interest in hanging out with them. […]
There re so many beautiful things i would like to do in my head.but i know that my depression and low self esteem are going to kill those dreams.whats the use of good plans.when they never work out?live it as it comes right?yea! damn right
Wanting to die is a strange feeling. It consumes all of the joy in you and turns you into mere nothingness. Empty, cold and numb are the best words to describe it. It has gotten to the point where I can be dripping in my own blood, not feeling anything, no pain, no emotion. I thought he was a new beginning but I mean nothing as always and I don’t expect anything different nowadays. Some people know about my self harm and depression but none of them can fix me. I’m far too broken to ever be helped, I don’t even know what it feels […]
I feel like I live in the past too much it’s like I’m never present. With the way things are now I can’t imagine them ever getting better I admit that I have a horrible habit of making high expectations thinking as a way of feeling better at the moment an odd way of coping I know. I think that I’ve become so used to being depressed that I’ve formed a personality around it  even worse is that I’m afraid of coming out of my depression I have no idea why but I am, yet seeing other people doing well makes me sad and makes […]
   As I’ve spoken about in previous posts, I’ve had depression, anxiety and paranoid delusions for most of my life and it’s not easy to live with, especially the depression.
    For me, at 11 years old it began with a deep sadness that just never seemed to lift. It spiralled pretty quickly and I began to spend an awful lot of time alone in my bedroom. I felt as though I was the loneliest person in the world because nobody could really relate to what I was feeling. The thing that got to me most was that some people would say things like, “you’re […]
I gain hope. I gain strength. But what do I not gain everyday after I cry and keep from cutting myself? A promise. I guess that’s okay, considering that promises mean nothing anymore, but still. They kick me down, I get up, they do it all over again. Harder and harder each time. Every. Time. Â It never fails. Trevor won’t even look at me anymore. It seems like no one will. Or they do, but every time they do, they laugh. The girl that was my best friend, Emily, turned on me. I’m talking complete 360 degree circle. She acts like I know nothing, mean […]
My name’s Brittany.
And my life’s just a mess.
I deal with depression and anxiety, and I’m here at 2:20 in the morning because I also suffer from insomnia which all three extremely suck.
I’m a drop out. School’s too much to handle for me. It stresses me out.
I stay home and do nothing. I don’t have a job or anything. My mother hates it and if I don’t do anything she’s kicking me out in 14 days.
Honestly, I don’t have much friends. So I have no where to go.
I do have a boyfriend, but he’s gone until June.
I’m just feeling alone, […]
Know how I came across this site? I googled, “How to disapear.” And I was brought here…
I was having a bad day, I suffer from depression and today just wasn’t good. I saw my friends and was just in a terrible mood and felt like everything was falling apart. My friends are always busy, I get mad at them for no reason, and sometimes I just feel like Im falling back into this deep, dark place that I used to be about 2 years ago. But then I made my favorite tea, put on my favorite movie and came across this site. And it really […]
My name is Emily and this is my story. July 29,2011, 3 month anniversary with my boyfriend Ian. My best friends Mia, Maria, & planned to go to a Rangewide and meet our boyfriends there to hang out. We went, our boyfriends never showed up. No big deal, girl time. Well, the dance got boring and I told Mia and Maria I was gonna go hang out with Ian. I told them to call me later to meet up again. I got to my boyfriends house to find him very drunk, his brother had a party. I put him to bed and we cuddled and […]
Okay, so I was on Yahoo! answers or whatever thats called, and this girl’s question was “How can I become an Insomniac?”
What. The. Hell. Is. the. matter. with. you?
She said she wanted to be an insomniac because she doesnt like sleep and she never sleeps.
Okay, you moron, Ima tell you what I know about sleep and insomnia: (some are personal experiences)
1.Sleep deprivation cam KILL you.
2. Insomnia is HORRIBLE.
3. you are a moron
4. People with insomnia are tired as hell, but can’t fall asleep
5. without sleep, you can begin to halucinate and have suicidal thoughts.
6. a lot of other boring facts that no one cares about.
BOTTOM […]
I just want to say, first off, that I have been following this forum for awhile. You see, I have been trying to help a dear friend. Her depression and suicidal thoughts have been going on since she was a teen. Reading the comments here has really helped me understand what she’s going through.
It has been really rough lately for her. I’m trying to do my best for her. I haven’t been perfect (far from it). I’ve made tons of mistakes. Mostly, flying by the seat of my pants and guessing at what’s coming next.
Her meds were changed recently by her psychiatrist. She’s going to […]
I am going more then school drama…
Everyday I thinks bout the motel..
I was trapped ina room..
Kidnapped…
I managed to get out late the first night..
It was a miracle..
Untouched..
Nobody knows..
I never told eneunoddy..
Everybody would judge me..
Tease me..
That’s how they are here…
I was gone two days…
Had to walk to find out where I was..
How far home was..
Nobody knew …
Nobody cared…
I hate my life..
I have much more going on then this in my life…
I have suicide thoughts…
Nobody is there for me..
Nobody’s helping me..
no real friends..
No real family..
There was this perosssn who spread fake rumors about me the second day of school..
Ruined me..
Everyone makes fun of me..
Everyday…
I have to deal […]
   A bigot is defined in the online Oxford English Dictionary as:
a person who has very strong, unreasonable beliefs or opinions about race, religion or politics and who will not listen to or accept the opinions of anyone who disagrees.
Why do such people still exist in this world? Haven’t we, as a race, grown up into our adulthood yet, the civilised versions of our cave dwelling former selves? I’m thinking no.
A few weeks ago, while walking to visit my grandparents, my partner and I happened to pass by a group of older teens who were talking about the young man and woman who’d […]