I don’t know why i try anymore, honestly. it seems like everything i do actually does nothing in this world. I give my friends everything they ask for and keep my promises, you know, being a good friend, and they make up excuses, “oh, i had to stay home and watch my sister” or “I forgot” a couple weeks later. Dropping classes with me because it makes you too tired to be able to go hunting and leaving me to be with your cousin who buys you stuff. It’s crap because im supposed to be her friend, but she leaves me to be with her […]
I feel helpless.
Unmotivated. Unloved. Pathetic.
It’s not because of my pessimistic mindset but it’s what everyone thinks I am. They’re right. I am worthless. I feel like I’m hanging off the edge and no one is there to save me. My parents would never understand why I’m unhappy. They would say how blessed I am to live under a roof and have food.
Maybe I’m ungrateful, too. But it’s not my fault that I feel this way. Depression has taken over my life and I think I can handle it on my own with a blade and self-loathing. I’m a coward as well. Instead of discussing my […]
I erased all my other posts. I have decided not to participate on the ****** site anymore. Why? Because of the bullying/harassment. I am pretty sure everyone who has come here has dealt with some kind of harassment from someone at some time. That is life. BUT…when it spills over into a so called “support site” then that is a place that is NOT safe for those with depression and suicidal tendencies.
I have heard that a few people have stopped coming on here because of the problem of harassment, and I have witnessed it personally, and been the target of it. I am going […]
My story:
I’ve had bouts of depression throughout my life. However, I was at one point and recently married, happy, and hopeful. Â Then one day the dark storm approached. My wife admitted to having multiple affairs, one in our first year of marriage (6 years total), and one that was still currently going on. There were other men in the middle. Just a month before this, she was talking to me about having children with me. Sending me baby names, etc. It was blue sky for me at that time… maybe a cloud or two. Once she told me, I thought I could fix the problem […]
I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m only fifteen, turning sixteen next month and I’ve done so many horrible things. I don’t like to leave my house because I’m not sure who I’ll see and what they think of me. I’ve gone to bars and gotten drunk making a fool out of myself, tried to pick up strangers and people who know me and my family, I’ve done drugs and had sex for money, and to top it all off I got pregnant and got an abortion two weeks ago. I was only six weeks along but I feel so sad whenever I think about it. […]
I know I’m gonna get judged for this,but I’m a drug-addict and have been for 20 odd year. Because i’m a heroin addict its impossible to get help for my depression,which was there before I got into heroin at the age of about 18. I started off with the usual recreational party drugs,but quickly descended into harder drugs and its ruined my whole life..
I am now 36,I was of all drugs for 11months a few years ago but stupidly ended up back on them. I started self-harming when i was 14,went right of the rails etc.
I’ve now got to the point I don’t want to […]
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*WARNING I talk a little bit about religion in this post, now I’m not trying to preach the gospel or telling anyone to convert, I’m just talking about my experience*
My last post I mentioned that a pastor wanted to see me because he noticed a sadness in me keep in mind I have not told anybody about my depression, now I’ve already seen him twice he wanted to focus on  getting me out of my shell I know he means well but when I went there I didn’t feel comfortable. Every time I met with him I felt like I wasn’t going there for me […]
I have battled depression since I was 14 and have had multiple failed suicide attempts. Â Recently I have come to realize how messed up society is and that because my father has hovered over me my whole life, none of my achievements are mine they are all just his in my name. Â I am failing half of my classes at school and I am definitely not going to graduate. Â Knowing my father my life is just going to end up being a giant hell hole. Â I just want to die and stay dead this time.
(Sorry 4 my english i’m chilean) Why is always my fault? The answer from my parents always is “all these problems are your fault” really? Because all the problems starts 3 months ago when i played truant and i admit i play with my parents trust but they took off everything, i can’t go out, i can’t use my 10 ear rings and they say that ALL my friends are bad people and influence… I was desperate i was always wrong and always in a fight with them.. And i cut my veins by the first time e 3 months ago. Now only 3 people […]
I have a great life: wonderful friends, supportive family, Ivy-league education, but I am tired of all of this.
I can’t concentrate on my school work. When I read something, I the words flutter across the page and land in a jumbled mess that I can’t decipher; when I’m with friends, their conversations fade in and out, and I can’t follow what’s going on half the time. My parents, although they don’t wish for anything but my happiness, are always concerned about how I am, which makes me even more stressed and I never tell them how I am really feeling, because I think that […]
I’m 12. Freaking 12. And I have a suicide note written.
When I was 11, I fell into a depression. I wasn’t quite sure why, I guess my parents pissed me off too much. I couldn’t go a day without crying. Sure, call me a crybaby.
It was too much stress. I had projects due, tests upcoming, essays my dad forced me to write. I hyperventilated at least five times.
One day, I was printing out another essay when my dad was yelling at me in the other room. I looked down and saw the printer cord…and then suicide popped into my mind. Why not?
I wrapped the cord around my […]
I’m the broken one who fixed it. 3 years of restraint. 12 years of battleing depression. 16 years of living. Physically and mentally I struggle but refuse to stay down. Life is ment to end yes but what will you make of it. Will you be another suicide story in the news? Or will you be the success story that is the broken one able to fix it? That’s a story id like to read. So tell me. Will you fight or fail? Fail like the others that slipped from my finger tips? Or will you fight to be better then what monster […]
Ive Dealt with depression ever since middle school, and yes i believe it has gotten progressively worse throughout the years. I was never really the popular person or noticed even when i was at school or at home, and many family issues, i just felt like i was always just around to fill in a needless gap. Ive gotten good at acting like i was fine whether it be to what friends i do have as well as my family, but lately ive just been breaking down and i feel like all im doing is heading toward a downward spiral. My suicidal demon has always […]
Im seeing them again.. the three black circals that cloud my vision…. I wanna cut so badly.. i was using my coping skills again tonight its 2am here. My most useful coping skill at the moment is drawing. My mom (step mom)Â came over to check on me i asked to have more paper. She said no that i need to stop distracting myself and get to sleep.. i just wanted to scream.
She’s the person who doesnt get it most of all. She’s super religious. She doesnt get that im bisexual. I’m just “in a phase” . […]
.. Have i ever thought i’d get to this point no.. im only 14 why am i here. What did i do to deserve this. I guess this is the time i’d share my story right? Exsplain it all get it out, wipe my slate clean. But im sure none of you care to hear my story. So if you dont stop reading, its not gonna be a happy one.
I was 3 when my mom kidnapped me, she abused me every day tried to kill me once out of jealousy, cause after i was born no one gave her attention anymore. Great mom right? after […]
Please, someone understand me. I am 22 years old. I lost my father one year ago. I am so soo attached to him and I miss him a lot. I have been through depression and just when I thought I am feeling OK, I knew everything is wrong with me.
I have no confidence in me. I try a lot but I fail. I get scared even for the simplest things in life. Without self confidence, I struggle with myself everyday. I have no such good friends. Perhaps they find me weird. I cry all nights, thinking to change myself, but I DONT. I feel I’m […]
I lost my father 10 years ago at age 8 to a rare childhood bone cancer called Ewing’s Sarcoma… I’m now 18, in a good college, in honors and severely depressed. I’m overwhelmed and would kill to see him. I’ve started cutting, missed classes and feel so disconnected from everyone. Half the time I can’t feel and the other half I’m so overwhelmed with emotion I slide into panic attacks.
My counselor just says its normal college stuff but I can’t really open up to her, I barely open up to anyone. The worst part is the guilt that I feel this way. I know I […]
I have been straring blunting at this knife for over an hour,
Crazy how, bam I could be dead it all gone, within a second. I can just do it, bleed to death.
I dont think I can do this anymore.
I feel desolate. My mind has lost all of the positive light it had gained within the past 2 weeks. Well, I’m here again, at the same place I was a few years ago. I’m supposedly back on the right path, doing everything right or so they say. I’m constantly busy, tired, and thoroughly occupied each day. Between work, school, and training for my next racing season, you’d think there wouldn’t be any time for my depression to suffocate me, right? Wrong. I’ve been suffering so badly lately and I’m sure it’s only going to get worse as the holidays are circling around me. I […]