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It’s My Fault

by littleolivia

I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m only fifteen, turning sixteen next month and I’ve done so many horrible things. I don’t like to leave my house because I’m not sure who I’ll see and what they think of me. I’ve gone to bars and gotten drunk making a fool out of myself, tried to pick up strangers and people who know me and my family, I’ve done drugs and had sex for money, and to top it all off I got pregnant and got an abortion two weeks ago. I was only six weeks along but I feel so sad whenever I think about it. I have a constant feeling of guilt and depression and embarassment. I want to die. I will never have a normal healthy life. I wish that I could start over in a new life, but I know I can’t. That’s why I want to kill myself. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I’ve been thinking about swallowing my medicine cabinet or something like that. I hate feeling like this and I just want it all to end.

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ilikesloths 12/11/2012 - 5:32 pm

Olivia, I feel the same way, like I’ve ruined things that I can’t ever repair. I think, in the instances you listed, you can move past this and become a better person! From what I can tell, you seem articulate and caring. I think you need to evaluate what led you to do those things you’re ashamed of and go from there… but I truly believe this is a temporary feeling for you, so please hold on. I’m here if you want to talk.

blackhole 12/11/2012 - 6:01 pm

You deal with it, you accept it, learn from it, and move on making better decisions in life. Your very young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. We all make mistakes.

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