I’m 19, asexual, but lonely. I try to help people. I’ve lost many of my friends recently, and the others haved moved away. I’ve had depression for several years know, and I’m starting to get weak. My friend who lives with me is getting a girlfriend, so I’m going to lose him to. Despite being asexual I have very stong feelings for this friend, and really don’t want this to happen. I know I probaly sound selfish, but I can’t take the loss of someone else… More and more the idea of killing myself comes up in my mind, and more and more….I want to […]
Slowly moving, despite the fact that I’m holding myself back. Forward’s my direction, if I can keep from falling backwards. Words don’t mean a thing, and I am often contemplating, upon what I want. It’s enough to make me go insane!
I thought the title to my post was fuckn funny. Made me lol. I am so fuckn bored. But hey, at least I’m not in […]
i finally got a new girlfriend after so long of being broken and alone, i moved away from my parents after being kicked out and abandoned, now i actually have a roof over my head, i’m applying for the army and looking for work, i’m started to talk to people again despite my server anxiety but still besides all of these things i still feel like i’m the same. the same as i use to be like i’m empty and still have nothing iv been trying to understand why i feel this way but i cant seem to come up with a reason as to […]
yesterday I failed a test at school and was not suprised, I stayed positive and told myself I’ll pass it next time. I had a huge argument with my parents and my positive state of mind quickly turned to deppresion…I spent the whole day just lying in bed, thinking…why do my parents yell at me? why can’t they just say something nice instead of making me feel like I embarras them? I’m being treated like i was a mistake, like I don’t even matter to them. maybe I don’t…Today I woke up rested and despite everything I tried to be happy. I came into the kitchen […]
I don’t know how or why I even decided I wanted to commit suicide. I have an amazing and loving family, a group of beautiful friends, and amazing health. Yet, despite all this, I have decided that suicide is the right way to turn. Yeah, I’ve had problems with anxiety for the past 5 years, and I lost my best friend to his slut girlfriend, but this shouldn’t be my only option.
Yesterday I decided to make a list of all the reasons why I need to “Leave.” Within minutes, I’d come up with 18. I could have kept going all day. The list has since continued to expand.
I’ve considered suicide before, but I now have firm plans to make my “Exit” in just a few weeks’ time. Despite having spent the past 25 years in therapy, I haven’t been at all successful in changing my unhealthy patterns; no matter how conscious I am of my issues or how carefully I make decisions, I always end up in crap situations and attracting people who are more broken […]
Hello. Idk where to start. I’ll make it short. So,long story short. I have extreme social anxiety/phobia. The worst thing is I get so sweaty whenever a girl passes by lol. I haven’t talked to a female until today more than just few seconds. I believe this is the only thing keeping me behind in everything because I don’t usually get anxiety attacks when I’m out around males.
So, I was thinking to get a female genuine true friend online who might’ve social anxiety or whatever it would be,whether depression or something else, So we could help each other in a two way street. Give […]
Man can life be depressing or what? Sometimes I sit here and wonder how the fuck I managed to let myself live this long. I honestly don’t know why I continue moving forward when there is nothing better in store for my future. I feel like I’m on auto pilot or something because I just keep going. I don’t wanna say I’m numb because I do feel things. It’s just when I get disappointed or sad I instantly shake it off and I feel like it’s irrelevant. I haven’t gone out because I was trying to finish paying tuition which I haven’t been able to […]
F uck you I’m not breaking,
I t doesn’t matter how much I’m aching,
G ritting my teeth to stop them shaking,
H elping hands always there remaking,
T he smiles and the laughing creating,
T he Fuck you I’m not breaking,
H ead to toe I may be quaking,
E ven then I won’t brake.
D epression will keep you awake,
A sking yourself “whatsa matter, is that all you can take?”
R ight so you shout “let’s see how far it can go” despite what’s at stake,
K nocked down, you whisper to yourself “get up, just get up” praying to the trinity,
N owhere […]
Someone very brave once said, “I must uphold my ideals, for perhaps the time will come when I shall be able to carry them out.” This someone was Anne Frank. She held an optimism for a greater world despite her own situation. Carry her optimism with you. When you are faced with an obstacle that seems impossible to overcome, know inside yourself that you can. It’s been done over and over by people; they had the ability to never give up on themselves. You have that ability.
Everyone has the same attribute of being unique in a different way, that includes you. There is no one […]
So I end my life, and it crushes my family (parents & sister). I don’t want to do that. I don’t think I can do that. I love them, despite all the ways I’ve wronged them.
On the other hand, I stick around, and it’s just painful. I don’t think I can ever form any real connection with anyone, or enjoy their company. There’s large parts of me that are just plain evil, that are unacceptable. I can’t let anyone see who I really am. I’m utterly alone, even when I’m not. My day to day existence is meaningless. I hate being around people, because I […]
I don’t necessarily know why I’m here. I guess I’ll just say that I keep thinking about killing myself. My stress is through the roof. Everything in my life is crashing down. I feel like I am making everyone miserable despite the fact that I am trying my best to be my best for them. The only reason I couldn’t ever kill myself is because of my mother and my brother. It would hurt them tons. I don’t know how much longer that will be enough or if I’m just some weak human being who can’t handle things that aren’t to her favor. I just […]
My story is both hair-raising and mundane at the same time. I was a very promising student, talented musically and didn’t have too bad a childhood, but went down with clinical depression aged 19. Back then there was not so much awareness of the condition so I didn’t really get any effective help. Depression through my twenties came and went, I tried out ‘alternative’ lifestyles and was somewhat of a political activist, I didn’t pursue a career because it was kind of fashionable in my circle to be a dropout I guess. Also the episodes of depression would hit hard, still undiagnosed, still not really […]
”if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
otherwise,
don’t even start.
if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
this could mean losing girlfriends,wives, relatives, jobs
and
maybe your mind.
go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or4 days.
it could mean freezing on a park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your endurance,
of how much you really want to do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than anything else […]
I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time. I’ve started seeing a new therapist and though I can’t tell him everything he’s really been helping me. For the past three days I’ve felt happier and calmer than I have in a long time despite all the crap. I really want to rekindle my relationship with my (ex)boyfriend. He’s been dealing with a lot and I kept my distance because he doesn’t need to deal with me on top of it all. I’m waiting until I’m better to try and be with him again. We were perfect together until the old feelings came […]
People can be narrowed into three simple categories just by watching the way they act and the things they do.
Category 1. The people who care, even if it’s not genuine concern these people still show some level of empathy for those around them.
Category 2. People who destroy, these people carelessly flit through their lives and the lives of everyone around them heedless of the consequences of their actions.
Category 3. The people who constantly fuck up despite whoever effort they put forth, these people try to be good friends, or try to be careless, but the continually feel like failures, like nothing they […]
With a new year approaching I can never help but to ponder. Ponder the years gone by and the year to come. I’ve gotta admit for the most part looking back I feel three emotions above all others. Pride, embarrassment and sadness. Pride at coming this far, despite picking out a go date, more than once, despite getting hold of method after method, most painless and most sure fire. Despite every descision I took that screwed my life up I somehow stayed with it. I’m gonna be proud about that if ye don’t mind. And embarrassed at the way I usto be, way back when. […]
Yeah, yeah, I know – more generic “hopeful” bullshit. But, hey … one way or another, we are all still here, despite everything. I kinda think we deserve some credit for that 😉
L4Y
Remember that time when you were truly happy. Truly happy despite all the crap in your life. Truly happy despite the people that wanted to see you sad. Especially happy for the people that liked to see you happy. So incredibly happy, that you didn’t even realize you were happy. You just were there, and everything was more or less alright.
wasn’t that a good time.
…
now you have a burden to carry.its all you can think about.
Dear she who will not be named
I never asked you to be a part of my life. You shouldn’t have ever said hello or looked my way. That day on the subway when for some reason or another you asked me to watch your shit while you paid, you should have just thanked me and been on your way. There was no reason to start a conversation, to ask me about my day or any of it. You were just a stranger and it’s funny that after everything that happened that’s all you are once more. A stranger. Somebody that I thought I knew, that I thought […]