I think we should all take a moment to think about how the choices we make affect everyone around us. When my sister chose to sneak out and do drugs, smoke cigarettes and get pregnant, she wasn’t thinking about the arguing that I had to deal with when she wasn’t around. I listened to my parents scream at each other nonstop over disagreements on how to discipline her. She didn’t realize what it was like for me to wake up to cops knocking on the door at 2 in the morning bringing her home. She never apologized for the panic attacks that occurred within me […]
Tag:
Drugs
pfff :'( even after getting a girlfriend it still isn’t easy to live :'(
I love sophie dearly and I’ll not die because I want to be with her (it’s a long distance relationship) but hearing that I’m not allowed to drum anymore is just so crushing :'( I want to die so badly now. I can’t cut because that would dissapoint her 🙁 I’m just drunk instead 🙁 I shoudn’t look at drugs as the answers, but it just makes dealing with things so much easier :/
I’m a failure to everyone I hate myself :'( I should die shouldn’t I ? :/ I’m a […]
I wish I would have found a site like this 6 years ago.  My life once so full of promise, senior in high school, on the dean’s list with a life of grander ahead.  Started down a bad path.  I think I’ve always been bipolar.  The highs are never better, and the lows can’t get any lower.  Started experimenting with drugs.  Found my drug of choice in pain meds.  I was good at hiding the pain on the inside with a happy face on the outside as long as I was numb enough to not care any longer.  The addiction got worse. Drinking and driving after […]
Trapped in the home of people who refuse to understand, who think my depression is hiding something, who think I’m lazy rather than my depression is debilitating.
I could take every type of med, go to every type of therapy, I could have sunshine coming out every orifice. It would make no difference.
Why? Because my problem isn’t me, its my mother. My mother is a cold, venomous, uncaring nag. She does not believe that depression is a mental illness, but instead views it as a weakness of the mind. She has mild dysthymia at worst and thinks she is the authority on depression. I doubt she has experienced a […]
So I guess since I just registered I should write my story? I don’t know.
So currently I’m 17. My name’s Nick. I live in New York. I’m a senior in high school and a non-matriculated college student at the local community college.
So previous to high school, I was kind of a loner. I was (and still am) the fat kid and I was a loner. My only real friend was my friend Trevor since 3rd Grade. So yeah people made fun of me a lot and no one really stopped until one day this kid, Chris, was really just picking on me. I was having […]
be straight up I suppose…. My names Serena , I’m in 7th grade at Bemidji Middle School , I have a smile on my face most of the time(= , but everybody knows im ‘depressed’ , because …. I cut myself , a lot… my legs , my arms , my wrists , my stomach…. It make’s me feel better. I don’t know what else to do! , I ALWAYS get called a ; HOE , WHORE , **** , ***** , FAT , UGLY , WORTHLESS , ATTENTION WHORE , DUMB , BOYFRIEND STEALER , etc.. It sucks , a lot , I don’t […]
Where do i even start this sob story? I’m only 19 and from the age of 8 ive been depressed and not wanting to live, i tried to commit suicide when i was 15, and now at 19 i feel that low again that im just waiting for the final straw to snap and to do it again although i dont want to die but i dont want to live either, its a confusing stage. It all began when i was 8 and my mum was in a relationship with an abusive asshole who made me feel like shit and played mind games and i […]
I have been talking to a few close friends about this but not yet written it down, this site is a great idea, ive just joined and im looking forward to reading more-its somewhat refreshing to not only know others out there are feeling like ending their life but that interaction is also possible- which is important.
Im a mature student in my finial year of uni, i dont really drink or do drugs anymore, its taken me 8 years to get to this point as my teeneage years and general social circles are all based on booze.drinking was making me miserable, so i stopped or […]
I don’t know what to title this. I realized something two days ago. Almost all pain and suffering comes from caring. Death. You cared very much about the person that died, that’s why you grieve for them, that’s why you miss them. But what about that man who died in the other room? You didn’t know him, so you didn’t really care. Nobody likes death. Why does a relationship with someone hurt when it breaks off? Because you cared for that person, you loved them. Why does t hurt when your parents call you names, when they say that you’ll become nothing in life? Because […]
Every morning when im wakeing up im still wondering why im still here.
My story.
Im been bullied hole my young life from my second grade to seventh grade.
I been beaten, called names, push around and much more. When i was 15 years old
i try to take my own life by drowning my self to river. I was in the river swiming couple
hours just around and around waiting my strenght to run out. Then i started to feel weak.
Then i sit to one rock and thinking now or never. I was thinking about alot of things
but i dunno enymore what make my mind to chance from the […]
Yes. I’m a 16 year old girl. No.I don’t want to kill myself over a boy. Or a girl. Or a bully. Or drugs. Or any of the typical things i’ve seen so far on this site. I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me. By all rights, i should be a happy kid. I have a good life, I’m smart, talented and funny. So why do I want to die? Why is it that I want nothing more than to not have to exist anymore? Let me tell you why.
My mother and father both had perfect SAT scores. My aunt is the head of […]
And bittersweet.
I wish I was 15 again. I wish I could replay my entire life over and maybe then I wouldn’t so depressed. So bogged down with all these “Should have”s.
I want to run away. I want to run from all of this that I’ve failed. Run away from the college I flunked out of. The boyfriend I can’t seem to shake, that loves me, but reminds me of a life I want so hard to forget. To erase.
I want to feel the SWEET in BITTERSWEET like I did when I was 15, and not just pain. I want to feel you and taste you […]
We are the future of us all
we are the generation who is destined to fall
we are the present’s invokable call
we can’t be heard through the last generations wall
we destroy ourselves without remorse
we set sail on an unchangeable course
our parents have made us who we are
they have locked us up behind concrete and bar
suicide and drugs seem our only escape
we all go out with chalk lines and yellow tape
all victims of depression and anger
some are popular some the more stranger
we all grow up whether we want to or not
because […]
I don’t understand why I’m here anymore. No one wants me around, so what’s the point?
It all started when I was 2 years old. My dad was an alcoholic. He used to put his hands on me and beat me for crying, talking or playing loudly. This continued for years. When I was 13, my dad let his friend pay him to rape me, and he did. A few weeks later, another friend did tried to do the same, only I got him to stop.
I began to cut myself. My father’s drinking problem got worse. My dad began cheating on my mother with her sister that […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]
If I am ever asked to describe the lowest point of my life, I would describe tonight.
by sono_libero
written by sono_libero
I would talk about the way layers of burned flesh rolled off my wrist in the shower and the feeling that the drugs produced when snorted instead of swallowed. I would tell of the extreme dizziness, the pounding headache, and the thick fog I was in; the muffled sobbing and the uncontrollable shaking while laying on the cold, hard bathroom floor at 2 am. I would describe how my body screamed to escape while there was still a chance, but my mind said that I was already too far gone. I would tell of how I just wanted to swallow all my pills and […]
Even though I’m not depressed anymore and nothing bad is happening. I still consider suicide, I know for a fact that’s the way I’m going to die. I’m clear headed and everything. I’m most likely going to OD on heroin or drown myself (: And I don’t listen to people saying “Ohhh your going to hell” There’s not 1 verse in the bible that is against suicide, and it’s not the unforgivable sin 😀
My meds probably have me all “happy” and shet, I hate it I’m not really happy, I’m on drugs for christ sake lol. ANYONE ELSE think the way their gunna die is […]
Jake walked alone after school that day. He walked in silence, his footsteps made no noise against the wet pavement. The sun was blocked out overhead, and the rain began to fall again. Jake didn’t care, he didn’t have anywhere to go anyway, if he went home he would probably get beat by his dad. He didn’t want to become like his dad. An abusive drunk, who was never sober at home. He wanted to be like his uncle. He wanted to go to college and become an engineer. he wanted to go somewhere in life and get out of this city of hell. All […]
Lyrics to song I pretty much jus stayed up all night writing..
Oh and uh.. *All Rights Reserved*? haha.
* Rapped
When was the last time you breathed?
I mean honestly, fully, whole heartedly took a breath?
When was the last time you took a stand?
I mean verbally, viciously, fought for something you believed?
When was the last time you fell in love?
Fell so hard, you found yourself unwilling to even get up?
When was the last time you truly cared?
Thought about somebody else, not the person in the mirror
Self-centered, self-ish, but sophisicated
We pride ourselves in all the wars and the domination
But what’s the point in killing other beings created
Like ourselves? We’re just […]
Still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I wish I had never grown up. I’m lost and not sure I want to be found. It feels like I just exist. It doesn’t feel like I’m meant to do anything great, or really anything at all. I hate my job. I hate where I live, how I live. I hate who I’ve become, and who I’ve not become. I used to have hopes and dreams but now I just like to sleep and let my dreams take me away from reality. I don’t think killing myself is the answer though I […]