I wish I would have found a site like this 6 years ago. Â My life once so full of promise, senior in high school, on the dean’s list with a life ofÂ grander ahead. Â Started down a bad path. Â I think I’ve always been bipolar. Â The highs are never better, and the lows can’t get any lower. Â Started experimenting with drugs. Â Found my drug of choice in pain meds. Â I was good at hiding the pain on the inside with a happy face on the outside as long as I was numb enough to not care any longer. Â The addiction got worse. Drinking and driving after a fight, I was involved in a police chase. Arrested on felony fleeing and DUI. Â Thats when things really went downhill. Â After 2 years in court and $20,000 later I was able to plead my case down to a misdemeanor charge. Â During that 2 years, I would find myself up at all hours of the night, still attending college for a BA in Engineering. Â Failed out due to the drinking, drugs, and just generally not giving a shit about my life any longer. Â From there I experimented with this new drug that was hitting the streets. Â Bath Salts. Â The high rivaled that of ecstasy, made me feel happy, for however short of a time. Â Little did people know at the time (like I said this is when this drug first appeared) that drinking while taking this drug is not a great idea. Â But I couldn’t care any less about life. Â So I did as much as I possibly could get my hands on, drank as much as I possibly could, and slit my wrists with a cake cutter. Â Yes, a cake cutter. Â If anyone doesn’t know it is as sharp as a plastic butter knife damn near. Â I nearly had to use it as a saw. Â I completed my goal. Â I waited for death as I wrote my friend a sorry note for doing it in his bathroom. Â I was awaken to them knocking the door down and finding me in a pool of my own blood. Â Many stitches later, a stint in the psych ward (which did nothing for me) I was back out. Â But I felt different. Â It was like I was almost being given another chance. Â I said fuck it. Â If I am going to be stuck on this piece of shit planet I might as well and try to make the best of it. Â Got back in school and now I am almost completed with my BA in Engineering. Â Do I still have those dark moments, where I still wish I was done living this life that seems all to scripted? Yes. Â But I found doing things that bring me closer to death make living worth it. Â There is nothing like jumping out of an airplane solo for the first time or driving a snowmobile at 80+ through the narrow winding trails. Â Do something completely out of character. Â Because hell, why not? Â If you die, you got what you wanted. Â If you don’t, then you sure had one hell of a ride. Â I feel like I am better then ever before. Â No more drugs (consistently that is, like I said I was an addict, and once an addict always an addict), Â stopped associating with people that don’t let me reach my potential, and an attitude that just says fuck it. Â Good luck to everyone else.
Bathsalts are some seriously messed up drugs. Stay away from them. I once watched a video online about a guy who was hopped up on bathsalts and he ate another man’s face. Don’t mess with that stuff!
Yeah I learned that shit the hard way. That stuff is some seriously messed up shit. Not to mention it burns like a motha fucka when you do it. If there is anything to learn from my story its drugs are just a mask you wear to hide from reality.
And you go through some really weird shit when you are on it, and coming off of it.
Yeah definitely. Drugs and alcohol abuse are coping strategies for our minds to hide from reality. They don’t fix anything. They just allow you to numb the pain I guess.
exactly. was when drinking wasnt working anymore, i realised i could drink as much as i felt like and still feel the same as if not drinking, that i thought and felt i had nothing to lose anymore.
Thats a cool story man, I had the same thing happen to me all from the DUI too. It seems like it just ruined my life and took everything downhill as being in college was a big hurdle to begin with. I just got out of jail for revokation of provation but at least I am off it and done with everything and im gonna finish my masters this quarter (something that came harder to me). I still smoke out and all but I’ve kind of adopted the view of life to just live it and see what happens, but when the time comes to go i’ll happily leave. Mad respect for your acheviments and new attitude. I hope you continue it until you leave which I hope is in an awesome way with a great story to go along with it.