I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t know what to do. I should be a functioning college student but all I can think about is death. My death. Images, thoughts, impulses, plans…attempt…and I just can’t get it to go away. taking pills didn’t even make it go away, it just made my life more miserable than ever plus this overhanging feeling that I SHOULD have died so why on earth am I STILL here??? I want to get out and I don’t know how other than a shotgun to the head. I need out. […]
Tag:
Earth
Feel so cold you burn?
Its like every nerve is being. Electrocuted at once.
Each time I get that look from him.
Like scum of the earth is better than me.
All alone surrounded by people
Humiliated disgusted ashamed to be me.
The feelings you send me reciprocated.
Why am I so in love with someone who hates me more we everyday?
I guess I must be that worthless of a person because he is all I have.
I do my best but everything is wrong.
What do I hav e to do to be worthy of love?
I don’t need to be like anymore.
Just not […]
give up how to edit two posts. wasn’t at all I want to say. I tried edit over and over I feel worse now than ever. what I was trying to say is I lost my house , my daughter did everything she should to complete high school, even a year early. have lost my house and living in temporary housing. I really dont want to be on this earth anymore. I am in no way helping my family. I’m not scared to go, I just don’t want them to hate me.
I wrote a song I don’t even know if anyone can understand me. think there’s anything anybody can say or do change how much I want to see sun from the earth
Today was just as horrible. Everyday I think it will get better. I thought I would be how I used to be. Then I realize nothing has changed. And I just want to leave this earth. We all return to dust anyways. What is the point of existing in this miserable place we call our planet. I cant face another day of wishing for something more. I can’t face waking up tomorrow and pretending to be happy when all I want to do is crawl into such a small ball that I eventually disappear. No one understands the real me.
Looking out sky, lonely night… so many stars, and full moon.
I just realized I’m just a dot on the earth… nothing but a very tiny dot.
Even if I’m not breathing tomorrow.
This World will still go on fine without me.
I’m 19 now and I’ve been obsessed with suicide for about 28 months (to be precise :P) I don’t remember how it began… when I was 16 I started feeling depressed, literally because I hated myself, especially my appearance. I remember crying every time I looked in the mirror and crying randomly in public. I didn’t tell anyone… I don’t like talking about my problems to people I know well. Another reason I hated myself so much was because I felt so odd. I got so frustrated with myself and my inability to hold a conversation. I didn’t ever think of suicide at that time […]
Im done living this lie im going to tell everyone how the f__k how i feel and let them know that tomorrow is my last day on this earth
for me life is a game for me i believe god sent me to the earth, an epolepsy infected teenager, to have a f*cked up life and see what i do liveing with weed smoking parents, s*it grades and no friends. when its over i go to bed crying and shaking. there is no god for me. i believe if i die i get to be some 1 else. id like this because i can get out of this s*it life and be happy.
i just want to tak me life,i reallly do.nothing at home is right it seems like everybody leaving me and how do i suppose to deal with that.i have no one to talk about this to. my mom dosent care about me and my dad is trying his best. sometimes i think people like me wasnt supposed to be on this earth. i cry at night mostly every night thinking bout how everybody hates me.i took alot of pills ounce diffrent ones it made me real drowsy and i just lad there looking high. i even tried to cut my wrists. i just want to […]
Starting this Year January 29th, I became suicidal. And ever since, ive been a freak. I’m really tired of it and 2011 was the worst year of my life.
I don’t want to live past today. No one loves me, no one cares that I’m struggling and my mom doesn’t even show compassion at the fact that I’m depressed. Yesterday, my grandma found my cutting knife in my purse. My mom called me forever retarded and didn’t even take the time to realize I had been cutting myself and was struggling. I have the worst family ever.
I am probably going to kill myself tonight. Have […]
i find myself smiling a lot. mainly because of A.S as i talked about in a previous post. there aren’t to many people on this earth that can make me smile and happy and actually truly laugh every time they open their mouth…. 3 to be exact… i wonder whats gonna happen when they leave me like everyone else.
Do you believe that some people aren’t put on this earth to get what they want/need? Because, lately, I believe that. I believe that certain people are put onto this earth as a warning to others, to never really get what they want and force themselves to accept what they’re given or die trying.
Example: I’m sure a lot of you know about me and my ex. I rant about it nearly everyday. What I’m sure you didn’t know what that she was depressed, too, before she met me (I’m not being egotistical, it’s the truth). She cut herself, was very closed off to everyone, etc. […]
Humanity and civilization are complete parasites. Little viruses destroying the Earth. I can’t live in this world. Â I can’t find any sort of “reason” or “goal” to live. To make money? To work and slave to “live”? To repeat everything, over and over in the same boring routine. I hurt everyone I love. Everyone leaves everyone, no point in even starting to get to know someone. Everything will ALWAYS fall apart. And i see no matter to living to be consistenetly dissatisfied and hurt. Living a life miserably is no way to live.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I used to have all the world laying at my feet, and I could pick whatever direction I chose. My life held so much promise, and now it is decaying around me.
In the past two years I’ve been beaten by my parents, taken by CPS, thrown into the real world a month later, and killed myself working ever since. I was supposed to go to the Air Force Academy. I got a full ride to a state college instead, where I found out what I loved to do most. But now I’m sitting in this house, and all […]
you cant just fucking sit around for one god dam day and just feeling sorry for your self for a little bit
no not with out someone bitching at you saying its your own fault your life is shity
and that one person who says it is some stupid ***** who could give a fuck less about me but is sapposidly
sapossed to love me idk…… honestly im so angry at the world that i dont give a fuck about anything or any
one any more. Its like i cant show emotions
so i hide them become angry but have no one to take it out on…..
I just really dont […]
well, ummm
i don’t like my self
so im gonna kill my self
like seriously
im gonna take like two asprin
then get drunk with a glass of grape juice.
then im gonna gonna go on top of the nearest playground slide
and jump off
FUCK LIFE
im 4years old!
I just ate something that I really don’t feel like throwing up. I’m just sitting here, not knowing what to do. And its not just for the moment. It’s not knowing what to do with my life. Who says I can’t play God with my own life? Nobody. I already have a huge bag full of aspirin in my room. I have a bottle of soda too. I know it probably won’t work like the two other times I tried it, and I will just silently throw up my guts in the bathroom while everyone is sleeping.
I read the one comment I got on my other […]
i dont know what to write, say or even think right now. all i know is that i am tired, not in the physical sense although it it exhausting to wake up every morning knowing it is going to be the same bull shit that i have been putting up with to long. medication hasnt helped, mostly because i cant afford to stay on it, hospitals dont work-twice now at least, and friends dont work because nobody wants to be bothered, which is why its called “pity party for one”. I AM DONE. i dont want the attention of fake people saying they care knowing […]
Well, most people woud think that I’m stupid, so I dont think it would be a good idea to post my side of the story, because I even told my mom about it but she thinks that I’m crazy or something. Anyway, I been thinking of suicide for a while too. I felt that there was no use of living anymore when I become depressed because of my sins I’ve commited. Well, most of the times I feel that God doesn’t even care for me because of my past sins. I even tried to repent but still feel miserable and embarrassed. Therefore, I feel if […]