I’m so alone. i never want to be around anybody. i literally want to shoot myself in the face right now, because Im already fucked up and i might as well end it all. i dont want to be alive and literally no one loves me. and i dont love myself. or anyone else except my dad. but seriously, ready to end it all man.
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end it all
I want it. I want it so bad today. More than I’ve ever wanted it. To take the pills. I want them all. A sweet, beautiful mixture. The one that can end it all. No more pain, no more stress, no more hurt. I want it. I want it all to be over. Do I reach for them? There they are so close at hand. I have the solution to all my problems yet I am afraid to solve them. Always wary of the end results. One day I won’t be. One day I’ll be brave and end it all. One day I’ll […]
I’ve finally decided life isn’t worth living anymore, and that I’m going to end it all. I really have no family, no friends and no purpose. I am the scum of society. I just want the pain to end. I’ve been consistently unhappy since I was 12 and lately I’ve just gotten worse. I don’t want to talk to or be around anyone. I can’t even think or interact because I’m in a constant fog. I’m quiet and I didn’t used to be. I’m having no creative output. I’m worthless. I guess maybe this is a last ditch effort to have someone actually care about […]
So, it’s the end of a terrible spring break. Last week, a kid in my class began making fun of Death, like it was something casual. He asked my closest friend if she “wanted to die”. She of course replied no, but he replied with “I think you’re lying”. I told him not to joke around about Death, cuz some people have bad memories with it. He flipped out on me, saying it was natural and nothing can stop it. Now, he had heard about my friend, and how she died in front of me, thanks to me, but he obviously didn’t care. It’s hard […]
In this situation in particular,
do I choose to follow my dreams or to follow my heart?
How do I know which will work out?
Do I follow my dreams and risk it all?
Or, do I follow my heart and end it all?
They both may seem so simplistic, of that I’m sure,
but they are burning me to the core.
Why must my endeavors of this be so intricate,
when there are no plans and no times set?
My dreams are supposed to balance my internal torment,
but my choices cause nothing but my mere discontent.
All the things I once cared about are now obsolete,
and though […]
If you don’t know by now I’m forced into the life of a loner I cant ever go outside my house without my parents constantly calling my phone every five seconds half the time I wanna put a bullet in my brain and end it all so I don’t have to feel this cruel reminder of what I could have but never will and the other half I wanna kill my mom she has done nothing but hurt me she has let me get severely bullied victimized and traumatized and PAYS someone to give a shit and my father who is a wanna be low down […]
I can’t do it. Every day that goes by the feelings get worse and worse. I’m trying so hard and then something happens and I need to start all over. I’m not happy. I want to be but I’m not. There’s so much going on in my life right now and I want it to go well but I constantly doubt myself. I feel trapped and alone and scared. I hate feeling this way. But I can’t even deny it anymore. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want to just end it all. And these pills. They don’t help. I think I’ve Ben […]
I had made plans that today would be the day that I would kill myself. I planned on walking up the cannon packing my gun in a back pack, I would go off the trail and go to a little cave like structure and put a bullet in between my eyes. I had walked to the location before, I know exactly where it was going to be. Now that I think about it I don’t think that I have the guts to go through with killing myself. Im scared to shoot myself, even though death is what I want the most in this world, Im […]
I’m positive that feeling alone is universal, but that seems to be the force behind my depression. Like being together with people yet being isolated. As if I purposely hold myself back from being alive or living metaphorically of course. To me life is punishment. ironically I am a hypocritical hypocrite. I say I hate stuff and then I do that stuff and hate myself for hating to do it will hating myself for thing my self. Did any of that make sense? Self loathing comes and goes a lot, but I sit here thinking of obscure ways to end it all….and I stare at my […]
I have a mean to end it all.
Painlessly.
Yet, I can’t do it.
Indeed, those before me.
Were cowards, not at all.
I am not mercurial.
But I know, somehow.
I’m too tired to follow through.
This existence seriatim.
I look skyward,
and see nothing.
“Show yourself, You coward”.
Indeed, I was shouting
in the wrong direction.
I have a choice,
between lost eyesight,
or continuing a decadent existence.
I wish I could’ve somehow,
fight against our fall.
If only they know,
how much I love them.
So I disappointed my folks again
I can’t seem to do anything right
i feel like nothing ever goes right for me
why does the nice guy have to finish last
maybe u should stop trying and end it all
I’m such a failure
Suicide….it is ever present in my mind…I’ve almost finished with all of the paperwork (will, power of attorney, advance directive, etc). I’ve prepaid for my cremation. The urge just won’t leave me alone or give me any respite, any rest. I think of suicide each and every day now.
I am so profoundly and desperately lonely. I have a constant headache. I could buy a gun tomorrow (this is Arizona where people openly carry them into restaurants)…I could answer the call of the Golden Gate Bridge….I just don’t know. I cannot discuss this with anyone I know, it’s already caused some people to avoid me and denigrate […]
The thought of suicide has crossed my mind for years and have often thought how my families life would be affected by my own death? How would they cope, survive ? I know that life is a blink or heart beat away and we should not take life for granted however when your up against a brick wall why live!!! In the past month I have watched more gore movies , binged death, suicide , cemetery, coffins, life after death and so on. Yes I know I’m depressed and on medication but when you have 4 ways going at you at all angles from […]
i’m drunk as shit right  now, otherwise i wouldn’t be posting this. i want to end it all so bad but i can not because i don’t want to hurt my family and friends. first post to this site, feel free to comment whatever you like. i really want some help but don’t actually believe any of it exists  for me. sorry for the incoherent babble. if i was brave enough to post sober i would have.
I’m in that mood again, pain is consuming my entire body. Â Every day is the same, nobody listens. Nobody cares about me. Â Can’t they see I’m hurting? Â Can’t they love me? Â My name is Hurt. Â It defines me and my entire existence. Â I’m tired of waiting for things to get better. Â I can’t seem to find that Hope. Â When can I stop hoping? Â When can I just end it all? Â I didn’t ask to be born. Â I didn’t ask to exist. Â So why can’t I just – not exist? Â It’s not like anybody would care. Â I can’t handle much before I fall apart. Â I need […]
I undergo extreme emotional and mental stress at home and I cannot release it without cutting myself. I NEED to cut myself to get a release and feel okay and probably even a little light headed. it’s the only way I can. I cannot talk back to the person causing me the stress and tell how I feel so I just listen quietly waiting for the ordeal to be over so I can be alone and start the cutting! it isn’t the healthiest way to cope but its the only one I have. and the more I realize that statement, the more I think of […]
The depression, the insanity, it all hit me hard, down into the ground. It all started happening again a month ago. I was doing better. I have become worst than I have been in months.  The voices in my head became louder, the nightmares became horrid, the blade is waiting there for me, AND the stress just sitting there own my shoulders. “Maryjane” has been my only friend there for me. I just cant do whatever this is anymore. I don’t even  know what to do anymore. I wish I had the courage to eventually to just end it all. But, I’m hanging in there.Â
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