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ending it all

9 years.

by WhereIsTheSilverLining
written by WhereIsTheSilverLining

I have wanted to die for the past 9 years.

I have been cutting for the past 5 years.

Every single days for those past 9 years I have thought about disappearing , running away or just giving up and ending it all. I spent those days thinking how amazing it would be if i could fall asleep a night and never wake up the next morning.

I’ll be turning 21 in two weeks.

Every year for the past 5 years, when i blew out the candles i wished for my life to stop.

Nothing has changed. It’s like life has just been at a standstill.

I still want to die.

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The Otherside

by imperfectluck
written by imperfectluck

During my darkest times in life, I had nothing to resort to but pain and misery, on the brink of ending it all looking down at the depths of it all and seeing peace and happiness once and for all. I thought I could never be saved and nearly killed myself 3 times but somehow I just wouldn’t die. I’ve been to an asylum, etc. talked to various shrinks but at the end of the day, none of it could help, only I could. That was 4 years ago during my junior year of high school when I was displaced from everything I knew of. […]

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lost

by beautifulbydefault
written by beautifulbydefault

I have never felt like I belonged. I’m different. I’m not weird or anything but I have no interests in life. I never have. I have always felt alone even when I’m with somebody. I stay here because I have responsibilities. Everyday I come closer to just ending it all. I have bad days and then I have really bad days. Nobody understands me, so I pretend to be content with my life to make it easier on my family. Inside I’m dying. I’m suffering. Life wasn’t meant to be lived by me I have known this since I was 12. I am not meant […]

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Real Life Sheldon Cooper

by MiseryMizer
written by MiseryMizer

I have a long list of psychological problems and conditions. I once had passion for life and love, but no more. My level of intelligence, education, similar issues, and past compel me to make comparisons with that popular actor on The Big Bang Theory. The asexuality aspect of it isn’t a result of E.D. or some physical dis-function. I no longer desire any kind of relationship. I always knew I would die alone. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. As is par for the course, I had my share of suicidal thoughts, cutting, and even a real attempts. Bad news for the younger readers; […]

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Should be last post maybe I don’t know

by Idk2025
written by Idk2025

No point in living im am just giving up but I cant do it cause I can’t live with out her but I don’t even know if she still likes me we took a break and we still haven’t talk since its been about 3 weeks. When I first met her I was thinking about killing my self but we become good friends and then we dated she saved my life she never knew I was feeling like that cause I was scared to tell her.  I don’t know what to do and my old feelings are coming back about ending it all. ;(

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Criminal record and bad reputation on Google.

by misterp
written by misterp

When I was in my 20s, I had some problems in business and with the criminal courts so now I have criminal records and a horrible reputation online. I used to have a lot of money so I moved to Asia and found my escape/happiness.

Now I have no money so I moved back to my country to live with my parents while I try to find a job doing something online. I am now in my early 40s, unemployed, getting fat, lonely, cold, losing hope.
It’s been 2 months and I’m getting nowhere and feel very unhappy. I cannot get a job (due to my […]

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Random prt2

by cant.fixme
written by cant.fixme

I had a few people asking me what i had or if i was okay i always pull the “oh nothing just tired” or “i’m okay” but it’s all lie, lies and more lies i’m not okay, i’m not tired or anything like that i’m not fine at all, i’m sad, i want to die, and i feel worthless, i’m not tired i just cried for 2 hour straight, i’m trying to fight my demons but i’m failing hard really hard, “aren’t you hot under this sweater” i always respond “no i’m fine” haha more lies, no i’m not fine, i’m burning under this […]

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Breathing but not alive

by cant.fixme
written by cant.fixme

Its hard knowing that you’re never good enough and it’s harder to know that every body actually think the same.

Sometimes it would be great knowing that people believe in you. Sometimes it would be great to also not feel worthless, it would be good to not feel like a total shit. Sometimes it would be great knowing that things you do aren’t complete shit. Sometimes it would be great to not wake up everyday of your life thinking about ending it all.

Sometime just sometimes i wish wishes came true, so i could wish knowing that it might come true, […]

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Alone and Depressed

by First Last
written by First Last


I came home from a 12 hour shift at work, and saw this old picture in my phone. We seemed so happy at the time, and all I can think about is how much we were in love, but now as the tears stre down my face, all I can think about is the pain. When I’m alone, I can’t help but have dark thoughts of ending it all because I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You were the one that made life worth living. I know that people say that I’ll get over it, but right now the only thing I’m trying […]

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An Aquarian’s Suicidal Mind

by synthaxe
written by synthaxe

First post I’ve read on this website was titled “Depressed Aquarius”, and I can relate to everything in there. I am an Aquarian too, and they say Aquarians are thinkers, no, overthinkers, but I am not quite sure if that is true for everyone, but for me it is. I had two aquarius ex girlfriends and I don’t think they tend to overthink as much as I do. I have never been diagnosed with depression or any mental health, I’ve never even consulted any medical professionals regarding it, but I have an ex girlfriend who was majoring in psychology in college when we were still […]

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How much more hell?

by Visual
written by Visual

Well, here I am in the middle of the night again after another typically fruitless, frustrating day.  I struggle to get scraps of work in the only two vocations I have…commercial graphics and photography.  Clients have simply disappeared despite my best efforts.  What I don’t get is that my stuff pisses all over most of the material I see and I can’t get anyone to hire me at a wage any better than that of a janitor…or they want a degree, screw my experience.  And the people who know NOTHING about my business are the first to offer “advice.”  Ridiculous, insulting and just puts me […]

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Fuck it.

by AarinaDaae
written by AarinaDaae

I worked myself stupid last year for an organization that was going under. I literally spent 56 hours working with no breaks and no sleep. You would think that the women who profited from my work, would spare an hour to come to my birthday celebration? Fuck. They don’t even have to come for an hour. Just show up and say hi. That’s all. I really wish I could articulate how hurt I am that I will be spending my 21st birthday…alone. What is the point of working hard on relationships if there is no gain to them? Why kill myself worrying over if i’m […]

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I don’t want to be here anymore…

by AnguishedSoul
written by AnguishedSoul

Twitter-trending-suicide-rates

I’m broken, I have been for so long… but I really feel it more than ever. Which is strange because I should feel happy, our family dog was missing for weeks and was found safe and returned last week, I finally got a job after so long of searching that i started today, my college graduation is this week, and yet… it all feels pointless.

I feel worse than ever and I’ve felt so bad before, I’ve come so close to just trying (and succeeding) in ending […]

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The Incline

by Deezy57
written by Deezy57

I fear I may lose sight
Of the light at the end of the tunnel
Each and every day, it gets less bright.
Enveloped in darkness I stay,
The happy memories fading away,
As everything turns to gray. 
Most nights, I’m alone and distraught.
Thoughts of ending it all,
I slip farther into the deep.
This incline is proving to be too steep. 

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Initial Contact

by darkseraph777
written by darkseraph777

Hello everyone. A potential suicidal from Brazil right here. So, needless to say, English is not my primary language. I truly apologize if there is any kind of grammar mistakes on my reports here. Honestly, it is my first time posting something in a site such as this and I’m a little insecure of what to write here, but I decided to try and make contact and – I don’t know… See what happens. I don’t think it’s wise to keep all this torment to myself. If is ok with you, I would like to open up just a little… at least just once.

It is […]

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Dunkelheit

by ABurialAtOrnans
written by ABurialAtOrnans

I could be ending it all here. Not now, but soon, I just have to find the right time and method. One method I’ve been thinking about was overdose on fluoxetine and strepsils (hopefully they’ll kill me). I tried hanging but I can’t tie a noose for shit, I have no access to guns at all, and I couldn’t be able to drown myself nor could I find a heavy object to tie to my feet. But that’s beside the point, the point is that I could take my life pretty shortly. I just feel like everything’s falling apart and that if I die now […]

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Unwanted and Invisible

by Spoyald
written by Spoyald

Almost a year ago I tried to kill myself after my husband of 23 years dumped me. I had alcohol and Xanax and felt that was a way to tell him f*ck you. I ended up in ICU for a day then the nuthouse for two more. After I got out he left me alone by myself for a day and half until my sister got here. I could barely walk but he didn’t care.  Since then I have been trying to cope with the whole situation but its hard after finding out he was engaged to another woman before we were even divorced. My […]

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My Mind..

by HatefulPeace
written by HatefulPeace

Does anyone ever feel like the only enemy they ever have to worry about is themselves? Like seriously.. The mirror is the only real opponent. You stare at yourself in it, and then you just pick out all your flaws. Sometimes, on a good day, you can see some good things but other days all you can see is the things you hate the most about yourself and you wish that change were possible.. Of course then changing you’d hate the person you became then..

Ever feel like your mind is trying to kill you? Like you just hate yourself and everything about yourself? Like you’re […]

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Moving forward

by Jaye
written by Jaye

I haven’t posted in a while so thought I’d give an update for anyone who’s interested.
Also, I’m hoping it might give some people a bit of hope? Who knows.

Last time I posted I was literally at the point of ending it all. I’d already tried once but passed out; I’d been taken in by the police on a separate occasion and things were getting messy. I just wanted things over. There didn’t seem to be any other way that made sense. I had one last visit with my psych and they upped my meds. They told me they were putting me into day hospital. […]

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