I just can’t leave her. I have but I always come back to her, crawling begging for forgiveness as if I have done some unforgivable deed. I came to the realization this morning that I am frightened. That the emotional distress and pain I have felt whether it was her fault or not is not worth going through again and that for that reason I shouldn’t leave her. I told myself that if it needs to be this difficult, and I have already done it with her ( though it doesn’t get any easier), why should I have to do it all over again […]
Tag:
enough
Yes, I’m going to take these damn pills now, my life sucks and it’s my own fault. It’s so easy, just pop the paracetamol out of the package and swallow it with some water. Yes, that’s what I am going to do!
But wait. What if it doesn’t work? Better check on the internet what an overdose of headache pills does. Hm, signs of sickness and vomiting after 24 hours. Lethal after 5 days. 5 days? That’s way too much time! I would go to the hospital for sure. And then? Irreversible damage to the liver and maybe even need for a transplantation if an antidote […]
Many human lives are clueless, at end of life “what you did with 100 years” finds no answer
Most of things on earth (god, rules, ethics, philosophy, technology) are developed by few confident, intelligent, strong humans
remaining all species really don’t have any clue on what the shit they living for
1. Not enough money for live the way we want
2. Even if keep accumulating the money with job doing, it takes a life to make reasonable amount of money.
3. Any how we die, why the shit we should undergo lots of pain to continue doing what we are.
Seriously, only one single time, for Gods sake. I fucked up so much, I made way too many mistakes and I was too chicken to do things I should have done. I had enough chances to change something in my life and I took none. Not a single fucking chance. I guess I deserve to be here after all.
I’m so tired of this life. I’ve never felt comfortable in any situation and I seemingly can’t make anything work. I never feel like a normal person, never have. Even if by some miracle things are good, I find a way to destroy it just by being my uncomfortable self. I’ve done this so many times that now I’m just too tired to try.
I haven’t worked in more time than I’d like to admit. I’m 35, will be 36 at the end of the month, and I still rely on someone else to support me because I just can’t bring myself to face another rejection. […]
How long does it take to suffocate? Just wondering if anyone knows . If you dont know then please dont respond. Dont tell me not to do it or I have choices or im not trying hard enough or I feel sorry for myself. Ya every body goes through shit and someone always has it worse , still want to die so tell me what you know or dont please. I just wanna know how long it takes.if anyone knows I dont want advice I just want to leave this world I dont care. I dont have family or friends im alone so it wont […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Georgia_Mass_Choir_-_The_Best_of_My_Story.mp3
where can I go where there is nowhere to go to who can I talk to who isn’t already playing what can I do when they have everything laid out and planned for me already wtf can i get my shock now can I get my whatever the hell they gone give me now I don’t care anymore commit me, kill me, anything is better than submitting. I don’t believe andi don’t have to I lost enough of my soul and I don’t care who don’t believe me: who I am, what I am supposed to be idont care who believes me or not […]
Doomed from birth.  Where is the justice in life?
And it’s not about karma there is no karma. I know so because I am one of life’s “freaks”. If I had a past life, I had the same essence, the same personality I have now. Otherwise I’d be a totally different person. I am an innocent creature. Never was a bully. Never was even clever or strong enough to figure out how to bully the bullies. But god made me a freak anyway.
Maybe god prefers the freaks.
http://www.thehumanmarvels.com/
I don’t believe in heaven but if I did- these people deserve to be there more than anybody. And if I were […]
Been crying for two days straight, can’t deal with the pain no more.
I really tried but seems I’m not strong enough
I’ve been having so much trouble lately. I’m too stressed, I’ve been incredibly suicidal. And I can’t sleep. And it’s all because of people. I just wish I could meet someone who was genuine and actually just wanted to carry on a conversation. But who knows, I might not be here long enough to ever find out…I just want to know if it’s worth it to stay and try to find that person.
Laying here, covered in sweat and tears
Bodies still heaving
Complete yet broken to pieces.
So close to another, but eons apart.
Wanting to be held,
But the pain is too much
Staying here, covered in blood
Body shaking
Falling to pieces, but finally whole
All alone, but one with the universe
Wanting to be held,
but the pain is enough
Why can’t anyone hear me?
Why can’t anyone hear the screams?
Why can’t anyone hear my screams?
You were able to hear them.
You listened.
You shielded me from the pain
You saved me from the cold
You dawned on my world like the sun
But then you set
All suns set.
The stars aren’t bright enough in this black world
The screams are loud
Can you hear them?
They’re breaking a glass wall
A glass cage
The cage can’t hold the demon any longer.
The world will burn in the night
Or
I can plummet into the sea
Before I allow the world to burn.
Perhaps the cold water
Will stop the screams.
What do you expect from a delinquant. I am not fucking insane even if I want to be. It would explain everything that has happened along the way with me, but all I really am is stupid and delusional and just a total crackhead. I wish I was brave enough to take my own life. Maybe someday I will be,but all that I want now is to be stong enough to die, to throw myself under a car or cut my wrists or just take a bunch of pills and never look back. I may have found the perfect way but the […]
People don’t care until you’re dead. I think we all know that now. I wish it wasn’t true. i wish there was some sort of way to show people how much they’re hurting me. I wanna hurt them back by leaving. By doing this act of killing myself. To show them how much shit they made me go through. I hope they cry. It must be very morbid for me to say all this but that’s how I feel. How can I help it?
Here I go again. I’m so done with this shit you know. How much can someone take? When do you say enough? When can you tell someone they’re the reason you wanna leave this world?
I began having severe depression at 12 years old due to achieving an erection everytime I stood up. That lasted for 8 years til I was 20. Depression worsened after 2 years and when I was 14 I started having suicidal thoughts but I kept them to myself. Â I had so many suicidal thoughts over the next decade, it has to total in the 100,000s. Â I dropped out of high school due to having no energy to continue.
I went to college many years later. I had constant suicidal thoughts, every building I saw I saw myself jumping off of. Sometimes with myself set on fire. […]
People assume that we, who are suicidal, are stupid or not smart enough.. We are actually very smart, we can see things the way they are, we analyze the problems and we know there is a solution but we also know it will always come back to the same Shit
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Alive-Out-Of-Habit.mp3
Why should it be taboo to kill ourselves? Just because other people don’t want it doesn’t make it abnormal. I don’t understand why people want to continue living with all the shit they have to deal with. Wake up, go to school/work/, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. I’ve had relationships, but to me they’re more trouble than they’re worth. I don’t want to have kids. I care about my family, but that’s a tiny portion of life. It’s not enough to keep me going because I still have to be me every day and it’s exhausting. The rest is work, eat, sleep, fuck, etc. That’s […]
So me and my dad don’t get along very well…..we never have. I love him and he loves me but unfortunately I inherited too many of my mom’s genes……too many for him I guess. We’ve never really had time to bond, especially not in a family of 7 or what once used to be a family of 7……Don’t worry, nobody died. My parents just got divorced a couple years back that’s all. But anyways the point is me and my father are 2 completely different people. Sure I’ve got some of his genes in me but not enough to show. I’m a really calm, easygoing […]
You beat me down,
You struck me low,
Don’t know how far you think I can go.
You don’t know what it’s like to be me,
Look through my eyes and you will see,
How hurt I am,
You don’t give a fucking damn,
I’d rather die than listen to another lie.
All I ever wanted was your love,
Doesn’t seem that you have enough.
Can’t you see it’s killing me inside,
I’m sure you’ll be sorry once I’ve died.